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  • I'm sorry I didn't text you back darlin'.

    Hope so much that you're doing well,
    and everything's working itself out for you
    the VERY best way possible.

    I'm doing pretty good. I'll be moving back with the ex and kids this weekend, so I'm trying to get prepared for that.
    Nope. You look devious. Bent on world domination in a fiendish plot hatched from your skull shaped house in the suburbs, which, by the way, violates the HOA covenants. But that's just what I'd expect from a blaggard like you.
    *GASP* You mean, you didn't wait for me and my traveling circus of midget donkeys to lose your virginity? How it saddens me that you didn't, for I had wished the very best for you!
    Anyone who thinks I lack courage, should realize I eat my own cooking. Also, anyone who thinks I have brains, should realize I eat my own cooking. :D
    Can I borrow a cup of sugar? I'm baking a dish of deep-fried macaroni and cheese, and I think it might taste better if it were sweeter.
    Yeah, I'm pretty decent at the moment, but my ex-wife woke up this morning in one of her moods, so now I'm stuck trying to figure out what her problem is.
    Ya cain't out-second me, kid. They don't call me the Consensus Kid round these parts fur nuthin ya know.

    *blows smoke offa consensus-reachin finger*
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