My point is that nobody has the right to "question" another person's suffering, Imo.
For example, it is very arrogant to say something like "I would not be suffering if what happened to you happened to me." We are all very different in our ability to withstand certain circumstances. I know that most people would never be able to endure what I have endured and still be able to achieve what I have achieved, because they tell me that when they hear my story, but I am sure there are people who have endured much worse than me. Would I be able to endure that? I can't say I know unless it has happened to me.
I agree. There might be suffering in that moment, but we have to look at their overall lives.
And my point is that there are lines we create ourselves anyway, regardless what you say about "no one having the right to question another's suffering." We (including
you) do it ALL THE TIME. For example, a person you know is lamenting how they found out they aren't going to be able to afford that sports car they have wanted for so long, because some other financial responsibilities came up and they're going to have to settle for a cheaper, more practical vehicle. They might be really torn up about it... and maybe you say "aw, that sucks man" - but should they really be
suffering over this? Shouldn't terming something suffering be reserved for something that really matters to a person's well-being? Are we really to accept any and all claims of "suffering" that a person wants to foist on us?
How about spurious lawsuits, where the plaintiff claims "emotional damages" against the defendant for something like spilling hot coffee ON THEMSELVES? Tell me we all haven't rolled our eyes at some of those stories.
How about the people on street corners who hold the signs that say they "will work for food." One day you may see a whole troop of them get out of a van, passing out the signs so they can "go to work." Or you literally offer "work" to one of them and 3 square meals that day as payment, and they refuse.
How about a child who was sick the day before, but is running around feeling much better today, but who still claims to be "oh so sick" when its time to get ready for school?
Point being - it is naive to just blanket accept anyone's claims to "suffering." Naive. We all have tools of discernment at our disposal - so use them.
But what is a "comfortable life?" If you are measuring comfort by material conditions and wealth, I should be very happy, but there is more to life than material wealth and financial security.
You're preaching to the choir with this. NONE of my happiness is derived from the money I make. I literally buy almost nothing. A new pair of cheap shoes when I need them. Plain clothes when I need those. I don't buy music, don't care about the car I drive AT ALL, don't care how others view me or my possessions (or lack thereof). Rarely ever do I assess the situation and realize I "need" something. Need is far to strong a word for just about any material possession.
At the end of the day, all suffering is psychic pain, so it is how we relate to our situation that determines whether we will suffering or not.
Exactly!
So about six years ago the head of the behavioral health clinic I went to for PTSD and grief reactions told me that "most people would be very happy if they had what you have" and I wanted to punch her upside the face. I know she was just trying to help but she had no right to be practicing psychology.
She WAS trying to help. I never dwell in the past. I remember it, and use it to move forward, but the only thing that can ever truly matter is the present moment. It's really, truly THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE. You don't have the future, you don't have 5 minutes ago. You have NOW. That's all. I feel that animals either understand this very well, or take this for granted entirely. They could have something like a cyst growing in one of their eyes, and do you know what they do? Carry on. Only ever carry on. The conditions they face are merely the new "life" for them. They don't have time for "suffering" like we do, and so they simply push it aside (or try to) in most cases I have ever seen. 3-legged cats, for example, get along about 1,000 times better than a human being missing a leg would. No wheelchair required. My point only being that the animal's view of themselves as a cohesive being does not involve "feeling good" as a prerequisite to fine mental health. It simply doesn't... and we can achieve this as well.