"Wifely Duties?"

[Magic Man]

This sounds like the husband already ended the marriage.

wa:do

To you. I'm talking about a situation where they were still married. I had to find something bad enough that it would be too unsatisfactory even for Dallas.

I'm really not sure how I'm the one getting labeled rude and hateful for simply responding in a sarcastic way to repeated ad hominem attacks.

Where are these repeated ad hominem attacks? Honestly, atotalstranger, I think you're a good poster, and I've seen a lot of very good stuff from you, but I think you're overreacting here. (although I think "hateful" was a bit strong of a word, too)

 

[painted wolf]

Just because they haven't divorced, doesn't make them married.

wa:do

 

[Magic Man]

Just because they haven't divorced, doesn't make them married.

wa:do

Actually, I'd say that's exactly what it means.

 

[DallasApple]

The question is what is too unsatisfactory. If your husband never spoke another word to you and went around sleeping with other women, you would most likely be unsatisfied to the point of wanting to end the relationship (assuming all other options were exhausted). Is that not correct?

Yes..thats correct..but if I knew it was me or someone else based on his sexual appetite I wouldnt want that man sexually in the first place.(at all ever)

Love

Dallas

 

[Nessa]

And around and around we go back to what has many times resulted in scapegoating women for the problems of men.

I don't know if that's what you implied, Nessa, but if a man cheats, that's on his shoulders and should take full responsibility. It's not the job of a woman to perform wifely duties in order to keep her husband faithful. That perspective demeans both women AND men.

I do understand what GC said earlier. Open communication is a MUST. If any expectation is to be put out on the table, it ought to be that, not how often the partner who is hornier can engage in sex until orgasm.

Im not blaming anyone, but I am looking at the causes of divorces.

 

[DallasApple]

How is sex between two people in a marriage any more special than sex with a stranger or a prostitute if that is an option ?

If you can get the same "needs" met sleeping with whatever other "options" you have ..Sex isnt "special" anymore between the two of you.No more than it is between you and anyone else that will have it with you.

Love

Dallas

 

[Magic Man]

Yes..thats correct..but if I knew it was me or someone else based on his sexual appetite I wouldnt want that man sexually in the first place.(at all ever)

Love

Dallas

I understand. My point was just to show that there's a point where the satisfaction level gets too low to put up with. It's good to understand that you're not always going to be happy or satisfied, but there should also be a limit to how much you accept.

 

[Magic Man]

How is sex between two people in a marriage any more special than sex with a stranger or a prostitute if that is an option ?

If you can get the same "needs" met sleeping with whatever other "options" you have ..Sex isnt "special" anymore between the two of you.No more than it is between you and anyone else that will have it with you.

Love

Dallas

If what is an option?

You can get physical needs met by pretty much any woman. That's not really an option, though.

 

[turk179]

I suggest that you haven't looked at it objectively, and it makes you ignorant. Implying that the opposite makes someone uncaring is just stupid.

I wasn't implying anything. I was flat out saying it. Of course you think it's stupid. Your the one who thinks he has the "right" to get his rocks off even when your wife isn't in the mood. She should even pretend to like it. You have twisted this argument ten ways to Sunday and this whole thread disgusts me beyond words. You all can have fun debating with this pig. I will be avoiding this thread like the plague now.

 

[DallasApple]

I understand. My point was just to show that there's a point where the satisfaction level gets too low to put up with. It's good to understand that you're not always going to be happy or satisfied, but there should also be a limit to how much you accept.

Then dont pretend sex is special with that person.Because its not about being with that one person anymore.Its only about having sex..the action of having sex.The person you are having sex with isnt a factor.You just need sex.Sure you can say I'de "rather" have sex with that one person..but if not you will do "it" with someone else.Which negates the act as special between the twr its no more "special" than having sex with someone else.

Thats not intamacy ..thats relieving an impulse or urge to have sex.If in fact it doesnt really matter who it is.(ultimately)

Love

Dallas

 

[Magic Man]

Your the one who thinks he has the "right" to get his rocks off even when your wife isn't in the mood. She should even pretend to like it.

Yup. And? Is that supposed to make me look bad? Kind of like "You're the one who's gay" would do between some others?

You have twisted this argument ten ways to Sunday and this whole thread disgusts me beyond words.

How have I twisted it? Both partners in a marriage have a right to sex. They also have a right to discussion, and understanding and help around the house and with kids, etc. I'm sorry you and others don't like the use of the term "right" when it comes to sex, but it's just the way it is.

I have to say, though, that we do agree to a point on the disgust part. Parts of this thread have had that effect on me, namely the parts where people were being self-righteous and insulting to anyone with a different viewpoint.

You all can have fun debating with this pig.

Hehe. Thanks. Good to know that's what you think of someone who differs on an opinion with you. Just remember that there is apparently a subject you can't be objective on. Maybe if you can get past your emotions, you'll understand that I'm not a pig.

I will be avoiding this thread like the plague now.

That's too bad. I'd rather you stick around and learn something about other persepctives on the world, which are just as valid and reasonable as yours. But, suit yourself.

 

[DallasApple]

If what is an option?

You can get physical needs met by pretty much any woman. That's not really an option, though.

O.K..

Well I've heard prostitution ..cheating..divorce

The option certaintly shouldnt be to have sex with a woman that doesnt want to.

Love

Dallas

 

[challupa]

I understand. My point was just to show that there's a point where the satisfaction level gets too low to put up with. It's good to understand that you're not always going to be happy or satisfied, but there should also be a limit to how much you accept.

Yes and that's why we have divorce. If anyone is unhappy or dissatisfied to that degree it should be done as soon as possible imo. I don't know you're situation Mball, but you sound very unhappy. If that is true, is divorce not an option for you?

 

[Magic Man]

Why is that wrong? Sometimes that's what sex is about.

 

[DallasApple]

Yes and that's why we have divorce. If anyone is unhappy or dissatisfied to that degree it should be done as soon as possible imo. I don't know you're situation Mball, but you sound very unhappy. If that is true, is divorce not an option for you?

And what is really bizzzare?? 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than first.

go figure..

Love

DAllas

 

[DallasApple]

Why is that wrong? Sometimes that's what sex is about.

Because sex is more involved than a body function.If you want that.( sexual body functions).Dont get into a relationship.

Love

Dallas

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Why is that wrong? Sometimes that's what sex is about.

Because it denies the humanity of both people.

 

[Magic Man]

Yes and that's why we have divorce. If anyone is unhappy or dissatisfied to that degree it should be done as soon as possible imo. I don't know you're situation Mball, but you sound very unhappy. If that is true, is divorce not an option for you?

Wow, well, I do speak about this from experience, but not all of my comments are directly related to my marriage. I'm happy with my marriage. The sex could be a little more frequent, but overall, I love my wife and she loves me, and we get along great. I might have a few complaints, but nothing anywhere near the realm of thinking of divorce. Thanks for your concern, though.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Because it denies the humanity of both people.

A bit tragic that we must have this conversation again.

Is humanism really dead?

 

[challupa]

And what is really bizzzare?? 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than first.

go figure..

Love

DAllas

Yes because we've rarely thought through what caused the first one to fail. Unless we have learned from it, it will likely happen again. It's similar to why women who have been abused in one marriage end up in a similar situation in the next. Nothing has changed in what attracts her in a man and she doesn't connect those qualities with the abuse. She just blames her former spouse for being aggressive and doesn't realize it's the characteristics most of the time that are a warning of aggression. It takes a lot of work to see that sometimes.