Riders
Well-Known Member
ANyways so i watched Bob Crane, Autofocus movie the true story of Bob Crane he was a sex and porn addict.
Apparently according to the story he watched so much of it he had flashbacks at times: I have had 3 all together only and lucky it didn't happen in front of anyone. He was so addicted in the end even when performing he;'d start rattling off inappropriatly about sex .
I will have you know the truth is I am very very very very very blessed and lucky!There are people in my SAA program and I think Bob was this way that porn intruded their thoughts so much of the they couldn't relate and communicate with people without exposing themselves somehow and yes some have to go to rehab because of that and some are put in psych wards.
Even though I've had a few misses few occassions when I said something inappropriatly on the internet mostly texting to men about dating few things have come out.
However I have never had this problem in person, usually at times I am actually somewhat shy believe it or not. Thank God. I mean my old UU church still sends me out invites to things going on up there, I can go to any church and spiritual related even and be very welcomed.
I did go to a bar, the same one Robert use to take me too, I went alone and the bar promoter flirted with me of course like he did everyone else. I acted nice and good, but later on got confused thinking he might like me and I almost got a crush on him but when my sister reminded me bar promoters do that I became aware and never went back.
But even then no i didn't hang around him, I was good and I have not had any real issues with that.However, unfortunately this is something that goes with out addiction, publically exposing our thoughts , or being inappropriate in public some of us have to be in pscyh wards. So its cares me.
Good Lord. I have not had as many relapse dreams of late and my cravings have gone down my thinking is better. I've 13 months of sobriety.
But I realize watching that movie had I not caught my addiction now, maybe it would have been that bad and it freaks me out.
Makes me wonder if I shouldn't go and join a convent. Maybe I should just quit thinking about men all together. It freaks me out. Oh lord I don't ever want to be like that. It should not make me think about the Christian church but when I use to be bad I always thought about going to church so naturally even now sometimes I think that.
But I am going to go to my UU church or a different spiritual place and get connected soon, I need too. Maybe Ill pick up one of the holy books, I need to got an AA meeting.
Holy crap that movie scared me.
Apparently according to the story he watched so much of it he had flashbacks at times: I have had 3 all together only and lucky it didn't happen in front of anyone. He was so addicted in the end even when performing he;'d start rattling off inappropriatly about sex .
I will have you know the truth is I am very very very very very blessed and lucky!There are people in my SAA program and I think Bob was this way that porn intruded their thoughts so much of the they couldn't relate and communicate with people without exposing themselves somehow and yes some have to go to rehab because of that and some are put in psych wards.
Even though I've had a few misses few occassions when I said something inappropriatly on the internet mostly texting to men about dating few things have come out.
However I have never had this problem in person, usually at times I am actually somewhat shy believe it or not. Thank God. I mean my old UU church still sends me out invites to things going on up there, I can go to any church and spiritual related even and be very welcomed.
I did go to a bar, the same one Robert use to take me too, I went alone and the bar promoter flirted with me of course like he did everyone else. I acted nice and good, but later on got confused thinking he might like me and I almost got a crush on him but when my sister reminded me bar promoters do that I became aware and never went back.
But even then no i didn't hang around him, I was good and I have not had any real issues with that.However, unfortunately this is something that goes with out addiction, publically exposing our thoughts , or being inappropriate in public some of us have to be in pscyh wards. So its cares me.
Good Lord. I have not had as many relapse dreams of late and my cravings have gone down my thinking is better. I've 13 months of sobriety.
But I realize watching that movie had I not caught my addiction now, maybe it would have been that bad and it freaks me out.
Makes me wonder if I shouldn't go and join a convent. Maybe I should just quit thinking about men all together. It freaks me out. Oh lord I don't ever want to be like that. It should not make me think about the Christian church but when I use to be bad I always thought about going to church so naturally even now sometimes I think that.
But I am going to go to my UU church or a different spiritual place and get connected soon, I need too. Maybe Ill pick up one of the holy books, I need to got an AA meeting.
Holy crap that movie scared me.