This reply is too general, and there are thousands of scenarios within which this is simply not applicable.
For instance? Can you give me one or two examples?
This reads to me like one of those mostly worthless "spiritual" meanderings.
It's not worthless. It's the truth. How can someone forgive another, if they are unable to forgive themselves? I am speaking of true, genuine forgiveness. I do not mean, "I'll give you a pass this time". That's not forgiveness. You can forgive someone, even if they are unrepentant. I'm talking true forgiveness, which is unconditional.
Forgiveness is something that originates inside of us. It's like happiness that way. Others don't externally make you happy. Happiness arises from inside of us. It is not dependent on the others actions. Compassion, and forgiveness, is something that has to arise from within yourself. It's a self-knowledge. It is known by experiencing it. It's a heartfelt experience. It's emotionally experienced and known. It's not primarily a cognitive choice, but an emotional choice.
Okay, so now, when I say you cannot truly forgive someone unless you are able to do that for yourself, is because if you can't forgive yourself for your own shortfalls, where do you think that forgiveness to forgive others is going to come from? If you cannot accept your own sins and hold them with forgiveness towards yourself, you truly cannot accept them in others either. You judge others, as you judge yourself. Likewise, you love others as you love yourself.
Forgiveness begins at home. Peace begins at home. It's just the way we work. And sure, that can sound like "magic" to someone who may not know what that looks like, but it's not. It's just the way we are wired. And folks who have done their dues trying to understand what does and doesn't work for us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, pretty much all say the same things in different ways.
It's really not magical at all. It's kind of common sense, once you look beneath the covers a little bit and rummage around in there.
One of those things that, after hearing it, all the gullible types will look around the room as if they have reached some wise, common "understanding", nodding and humming appreciation for the wisdom to one another. When all the while it is claptrap - specious - only meant to gain "likes" from your peers.
I have no idea what this fictitious scenario is, but it's not about "humming appreciation for the wisdom to one another". It's about basic human empathy. If we hold ourselves in disdain, we will do the same to others. Someone who criticizes others for all their faults, do fifty times that much to themselves first. That's why they are doing it to others, to try to take some of that constant self-attacking they are doing beneath the covers, and distract themselves by seeing others flaws instead.
So, if we stop doing that, if we can see that we are just as flawed as we see others as, when we are able to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, then we will understand what love means. Then, we can see others as ourselves, hold them with the same compassion and understanding, have empathy for them, then we will love them. We forgive them, even if they are still blind to their own shortcomings as we had been ourselves.
Everything I am saying is coming from my own experiences. These are not theoretical ideas. I'm simply trying to explain what I have realized the deeper beneath the covers we go. This is reality.