Ex-Husband wins $9 million dollar case from “wife’s lover” in alienation of affection case.

[Epic Beard Man]

lying to not break a heart, is like shoving a wedge into a fracture, the truth bomb when it lands, it most of the time eventually does is the hammer. Result: heart isn't broken, it's split in half or completely shattered.

Exactly but it happens. Weird logic I tell ya. A lot of women at least here justify the lie with not wanting hurt a man’s feelings.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I just looked at it again, and you're right. They showed one picture with the baby, but the face was blurred out. That may be why I missed it before.

It was rather painful to watch. You'd think that he would have realized it was over when she moved out.

I guess that's one reason I never married, since I've seen a lot of divorce; and marriage doesn't really seem like it's that much of a serious commitment. I've often heard it said that "men are afraid of commitment," but where is the "commitment" in something that's so easily discardable nowadays?

Exactly. We live in a world where feelings are not considered and the repairing of relationships are not sought. If men are afraid of commitment, then women are afraid of endurance.

 

[Woberts]

Exactly. We live in a world where feelings are not considered and the repairing of relationships are not sought.

That's a bit of an exaggeration.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I don't think this is a problem exclusive to females. Males can also be just as untrustworthy. But I definitely agree with the 3) Guard your feelings. A man should never make a woman his purpose and reason for life, and a woman should never make a man her purpose and reason for life. Making one person your primary purpose is asking for a horrible outcome if that person leaves. Think about the many suicides of well-known celebrities. A large percentage of them have been men who have had their heart broken by women who they made the center of their life. The lesson in this is to find a greater purpose, and never make another person the center of your life. Of course this doesn't mean to avoid relationships or not love others, but it means that one should always have a passion/purpose that does not depend on one person.

Well considering women are the main ones that initiate divorce and a plethora of other things I beg to differ. For some, a partner is the center of their life. For Muslims, marriage is half of their faith and so for many, marriage is a central theme in one’s life. Sure men can be horrible but I’ve seen women do some horrible things to get back at men.

This man literally begged on camera and she (the woman) have no disregard so yeah I go with 1, 2, and 3.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

That's a bit of an exaggeration.

Then prove otherwise

 

[Rational Agnostic]

Well considering women are the main ones that initiate divorce and a plethora of other things I beg to differ. For some, a partner is the center of their life. For Muslims, marriage is half of their faith and so for many, marriage is a central theme in one’s life. Sure men can be horrible but I’ve seen women do some horrible things to get back at men.

This man literally begged on camera and she (the woman) have no disregard so yeah I go with 1, 2, and 3.

You're correct about divorce. However, men abuse women physically far more than women abuse men.

 

[PureX]

Those are valuable insights for me

Perhaps the greater insight might be to approach relationships, in the future, with less of a NEED for rigorous honesty, loyalty, and commitment from your partner. That way, if it turns out not to be forthcoming, there isn't so much disappointment, anger, and resentment on your part, to be worked through (and possibly to be directed at your next relationship).

Just sayin'.

 

[Shad]

it was over but she didn't file for divorce? or separation, she just left cause she seems like a selfish ****. But then again we don't know her side of the story.

She had two years to talk about her side. She hasn't bothered it seems like.

 

[PureX]

Exactly but it happens. Weird logic I tell ya. A lot of women at least here justify the lie with not wanting hurt a man’s feelings.

Lots of people think like that, not just women. It's not unusual for someone not to want to hurt someone they care about. And so it becomes a little too easy to avoid it, by lying. Does that really make it worse in the end? I doubt it. I think the hurt is going to happen either way. But I do think a lot of humiliation could be avoided if we would just muster the courage to be honest up from, instead of lying to avoiding the inevitable.

But I also think that the person lied to plays a role in this, too. A role that they often avoid having to face by blaming everything on the "lying cheater". I will just say this: if your partner really wasn't fulfilled being with you, shouldn't you WANT her to be with someone else? With someone that she will feel fulfilled with? If so, then why all this resentment and animosity and blame? Just something to consider.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

You're correct about divorce. However, men abuse women physically far more than women abuse men.

But this isn’t about physical violence

 

[Epic Beard Man]

if your partner really wasn't fulfilled being with you, shouldn't you WANT her to be with someone else? With someone that she will feel fulfilled with? If so, then why all this resentment and animosity and blame? Just something to consider.

Sorry only weak people think like this. We are adults and when we get into relationships we ought to be honest and truthful. A person ought to let another know what their likes and dislikes are and what they want. If there is some cohesion then it’s good. But if problems persist and there is no effort being made by the one that is unhappy then it’s selfish for a person to bail without trying especially if love is involved.

Which is why I ask the question why some women can bail even after saying they love a man or cheat on a man like the woman in the picture? Instead of being honest you’ll be dishonest and therefore I should wish you well that some other guy is banging you out while you leave my heart in shambles? Nah that is weak male syndrome

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Perhaps the greater insight might be to approach relationships, in the future, with less of a NEED for rigorous honesty, loyalty, and commitment from your partner. That way, if it turns out not to be forthcoming, there isn't so much disappointment, anger, and resentment on your part, to be worked through (and possibly to be directed at your next relationship).

Just sayin'.

Honesty is honesty there is no rigor in that. If I want a relationship and I tell you it’s me communicating a desire of mine, if that is not what you want then we can keep it cordial. The problem I see is if we cross the finish line and things seem like we are on the same page but we hit a bump in the road and you bail or you’re unhappy for whatever and you decide that our relation is irreparable. It’s called wasting someone’s time like the man in the video. To get way deep in emotions only to have some existential crisis after a hiccup.

 

[PureX]

Sorry only weak people think like this.

Everyone is weak. Some more than others, some in different ways than others. Maybe the answer in not to demand strength and perfection, but to learn forgiveness.

We are adults and when we get into relationships we ought to be honest and truthful. A person ought to let another know what their likes and dislikes are and what they want.

We humans ought to be a lot of things that we are not and will probably never be. And that includes you. Be careful not to get up too high on that horse, lest you end up falling to your own destruction.

... if problems persist and there is no effort being made by the one that is unhappy then it’s selfish for a person to bail without trying especially if love is involved.

Perhaps it's just as selfish (and unloving) to expect the one that is unhappy NOT to move on, but to stay and keep trying, and thereby continuing the unhappiness.

Which is why I ask the question why some women can bail even after saying they love a man or cheat on a man like the woman in the picture?

That is completely understandable, to me. As love often surpasses and/or outlives compatibility. Sometime the best way to love someone is to stay away from them. Or to just be friends. This happens more often than you might think.

Instead of being honest you’ll be dishonest and therefore I should wish you well that some other guy is banging you out while you leave my heart in shambles? Nah that is weak male syndrome

I'm a taoist, so for me, the "strength" of which you speak is an illusion. I think what you're really trying to refer to is the immutable power of honesty coupled with humility.

 

[PureX]

Honesty is honesty there is no rigor in that. If I want a relationship and I tell you it’s me communicating a desire of mine, if that is not what you want then we can keep it cordial. The problem I see is if we cross the finish line and things seem like we are on the same page but we hit a bump in the road and you bail or you’re unhappy for whatever and you decide that our relation is irreparable. It’s called wasting someone’s time like the man in the video. To get way deep in emotions only to have some existential crisis after a hiccup.

But you are viewing this entirely from the perspective of your own expectations, and not at all from the truth of who the other person is. Your expectations are not their reality. Just as their expectations are not yours. If we truly love someone, we will understand this, and love them FOR who they are. Not for meeting our expectations of them. And that being that case, then should they choose to move on, and for whatever reason, we should still be loving them just the same, because that IS who they are.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Everyone is weak. Some more than others, some in different ways than others. Maybe the answer in not to demand strength and perfection, but to learn forgiveness.
We humans ought to be a lot of things that we are not and will probably never be. And that includes you. Be careful not to get up too high on that horse, lest you end up falling to your own destruction.
Perhaps it's just as selfish (and unloving) to expect the one that is unhappy NOT to move on, but to stay and keep trying, and thereby continuing the unhappiness.
That is completely understandable, to me. As love often surpasses and/or outlives compatibility. Sometime the best way to love someone is to stay away from them. Or to just be friends. This happens more often than you might think.
I'm a taoist, so for me, the "strength" of which you speak is an illusion. I think what you're really trying to refer to is the immutable power of honesty coupled with humility.

Good be a Taoist while I’ll be a realist. I’m not wishing no woman who should have known what she wants upfront but is misleading in the end. Sorry but not sorry. In the case of this man finding out his woman seeing another man, he should just wish her well after dude was pile driving her in the bedroom? Nah buddy not me. I have dignity enough to walk away with my middle finger at her.

 

[Rational Agnostic]

Good be a Taoist while I’ll be a realist. I’m not wishing no woman who should have known what she wants upfront but is misleading in the end. Sorry but not sorry. In the case of this man finding out his woman seeing another man, he should just wish her well after dude was pile driving her in the bedroom? Nah buddy not me. I have dignity enough to walk away with my middle finger at her.

Why are you only blaming the woman? It's also the fault of the man she cheated with if he knew she was married. But I agree with you somewhat. Anyone (male or female) who gets cheated on in a monogamous relationship has every right to leave. But why are you making this about gender? Men cheat on women too. There's no reason to make an unfounded, sexist claim that women have committment issues.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

But you are viewing this entirely from the perspective of your own expectations, and not at all from the truth of who the other person is. Your expectations are not their reality. Just as their expectations are not yours. If we truly love someone, we will understand this, and love them FOR who they are. Not for meeting our expectations of them. And that being that case, then should they choose to move on, and for whatever reason, we should still be loving them just the same, because that IS who they are.

Sounds like you want a one sided relationship. A TRUE relationship is about compromise, understanding, and communication. All relationships have some form of expectations because if there wasn’t that would render the idea of relationship fluid and interchangeable. A relationship especially a marriage is about a union and an agreement between two consenting people. It’s not about understanding this or that from their perspective because the understanding has to be reciprocal.

I think Mr. Taoist you missed that in class. We all have expectations for ourselves and for others. If people don’t meet those expectations people move on, or compromise that particular thing they may not like. This happens a lot in relationships.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Why are you only blaming the woman? It's also the fault of the man she cheated with if he knew she was married. But I agree with you somewhat. Anyone (male or female) who gets cheated on in a monogamous relationship has every right to leave. But why are you making this about gender? Men cheat on women too. There's no reason to make an unfounded, sexist claim that women have committment issues.

Where was the sexist claim? There is your first task and please quote me.

Second is in this video if a woman is married and has not filed a divorce at least legally according to this law she is culpable for a string of events that lead to her lover being sued. I think a person that is committed either contractually or emotionally has an obligation to uphold the virtue of fidelity.

A single man who knows that the woman is married shares some blame but the onus is on the woman who has committed or formerly committed to a man in public.

You ask why am I making this about gender?

Well this is the men’s section right?

Men have relationship issues and some men have issues with the opposite sex as in the case of the man here. If you wish to not participate in an appropriate designated discussion you are welcome to leave as these are my opinions here.

It is not sexist to say not to trust women it’s an opinion, but it is sexist to generate a comment with a stereotype. I have done none but merely say don’t trust women and I said that it works for me, I never said it was law, unless you mean something else.

 

[Mindmaster]

Nothing from what you wrote (although I understood your position despite you speaking a lot without getting directly to the point). What I got from the video is:

1) Don’t trust females

2) Don’t get married

3) Guard your feelings

I refuse to be on camera begging “that’s my wife” the old Compton in me would say B**ch bye

Don't let the broken break you, that's my advice. There are plenty of good ones out there looking for a good man. Up you entirely if you aren't willing to be that guy, but if not I understand. Though, honestly, we're in this weird time where I think it's advantageous to delay marriage well past child-bearing ages -- that, of course, isn't so good for making kids or parenting them. I think people are growing up a lot older... like 35... This is a downside between our convenient society and the lack of adversity it brings.

Most marriages end when one of the partners decides they're going to need to do something to get their rocks off, and maybe that's the real problem. Maybe we should just let people do their thing and still keep the household together. Just because you want to try someone/something new doesn't mean that you want to live with them or have their kids, or keep them.

 

[Mindmaster]

You're correct about divorce. However, men abuse women physically far more than women abuse men.

Women don't hit they cheat, most of the time. I think men don't realize this because of how they're wired. If a woman is seeking sexual contact outside of a relationship and they've not just negotiated that with the partner (it's open) then it's to "hit" the partner. That doesn't mean it's a lost cause or the marriage is over for the woman, it just means you have to figure out what the issues are and work it out.