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Ex-Husband wins $9 million dollar case from “wife’s lover” in alienation of affection case.

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
If things aren't working, is it really weak to acknowledge this and consider things aren't working out that well?


It is weak to wish another person well after they were deceitful in the case of the man in the video. If a woman is unhappy she ought to state why she is unhappy. If she is willing to work it out and the man is going to work on the things she has grievances about then its a good thing because both parties are trying to salvage a relationship. The weakness comes in is where a man just okay's a woman's actions especially if she is in the wrong. If she cheats she is wrong and her unhappiness is not a justification for infidelity. Hence is why I said that in the beginning people ought to declare their likes and dislikes so there is an understanding between the parties. None of us have developed telekinesis.


Is it strength to lack the courage to vocalize such concerns and not consider breaking up to find fulfillment with someone else? People fall in love, but they also can fall out of love and drift apart for various reasons.


I think it takes strength when a person's emotions have run out and the relationship has ran its course to face the lover whose feelings have no ran out and who believe the relationship has not ran its course. It takes strength for a lover to continue to love someone when their significant other suffers a disability yet, continue to stay in that relationship because they see that person as the same as in the beginning. It takes courage and strength to work on a relationship and work through the emotional trials and tribulations of life. Anyone can leave a relationship for bogus reasons. Anyone can string another along for selfish purposes, but it takes a real man or woman to be a stand up person and do right by others.

I also don't think you truly believe the "don't trust women" post you made. You can probably do a quick inventory and think of at least a few women you trust.

I don't even trust some of the women in my own family. I've been around some careless deceitful women in my life. In another thread I mentioned a co-worker of mine who caught his wife sexting another co-worker. He confronted the guy although threatened him, but the result was my buddy was terminated. Terminated for antagonizing the guy who was pushing on his wife similar to the man in the video. Instead of his wife correcting the wrong she allowed it to persist like this woman in the video. Some women are just weird and don't know what they want and go through men like clothes without any regard for the person's feelings. Women don't hold other women accountable and so the problem of the sexes persist.

This is why incels exist, and MGTOW exist because there are women are antagonists in the guise of feminism that try and make women above reproach. I've seen women do wrong but make themselves out as the victim it is a total mind game that a lot of women play. I certainly think this is a first world issue where we as a society are too pampered and forget the value of friendship and respect for each other.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I thought the subject of this thread was "is the lover responsible, somehow, either juridically or morally, for the end of their marriage?"

My answer is: no, only the wife is.
Blaming a third is unjust and pointless

I guess it's a question of whether he knew if she was married before approaching her with romantic intentions. If he was knowingly coveting his neighbor's wife (figuratively speaking), then he's morally responsible for his actions.

The colloquial term is "home wrecker."

Whether he's legally responsible and should be required to pay damages, this seems something new. I've never heard of a case like this before, but if there's a few more hefty judgments like this issued, I'll bet more people would think twice about messing around.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
The commitment is between the people. I can discard any promise I make, but that doesn't mean I will. Trick to marriage is to find someone who shares that view.

Well, marriage is essentially a contract, so maybe the same rules should apply as they would to any other contract.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
But you are viewing this entirely from the perspective of your own expectations, and not at all from the truth of who the other person is. Your expectations are not their reality. Just as their expectations are not yours. If we truly love someone, we will understand this, and love them FOR who they are. Not for meeting our expectations of them. And that being that case, then should they choose to move on, and for whatever reason, we should still be loving them just the same, because that IS who they are.

I think a reasonable expectation is that people should think about what they're doing before they enter into a lifelong commitment. If they don't think they're going to be able to handle it for the rest of their lives, they shouldn't do it. Those who enter into such arrangements frivolously are bound to want to exit just as frivolously.

It's especially problematic when there are kids involved. I know from my own experience, my own parents didn't give a rat's behind about their kids. It was all about them and their "happiness" (as if that's supposed to "trickle down" on the kids). I had to spend the better part of my own childhood watching my own parents grow up.

So, I'll admit that this whole idea of getting divorced or committing adultery on whimsy just because one is "unhappy" is a serious sorepoint with me. Divorce is not the solution to "unhappiness." My personal observation is that one who chooses divorce as a cure for "unhappiness" will likely remain unhappy for the rest of their lives - and they'll make everyone around them unhappy, too.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Well, marriage is essentially a contract, so maybe the same rules should apply as they would to any other contract.

It kinda does if your marriage contract includes a pre-nup. Like any other contract, damages can be set as part of the initial agreement or not.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
It kinda does if your marriage contract includes a pre-nup. Like any other contract, damages can be set as part of the initial agreement or not.

Do pre-nups always hold up in court? I've heard some people say that even a pre-nup can be made inadmissible, but I haven't checked that myself, so I'm not sure.
 

Epic Beard Man

Bearded Philosopher
Yeah, I've noticed that in a lot of situations, where there's little to no attempt to repair whatever might be broken in the relationship. Obviously, there must have been something to base their relationship on for them to get together and get married in the first place. But to discard it so frivolously like that is questionable.

Maybe after a few more court cases like this with hefty judgments, people will think twice before whimsically filing for divorce - or they may decide it's not worth getting married at all.

Right. I really think if people find themselves incapable of being happy with one, they need to be in an polyamorous relationship, but I think its more of a "can I have my cake and eat it as well" scenario.
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
I guess it's a question of whether he knew if she was married before approaching her with romantic intentions. If he was knowingly coveting his neighbor's wife (figuratively speaking), then he's morally responsible for his actions.

The colloquial term is "home wrecker." .
I see...but it's immoral if you cheat on your spouse.
The lover isn't cheating anybody..so, I exclude that his behavior (having an affair with a married woman) is immoral.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I don't even trust some of the women in my own family. I've been around some careless deceitful women in my life. In another thread I mentioned a co-worker of mine who caught his wife sexting another co-worker. He confronted the guy although threatened him, but the result was my buddy was terminated. Terminated for antagonizing the guy who was pushing on his wife similar to the man in the video. Instead of his wife correcting the wrong she allowed it to persist like this woman in the video. Some women are just weird and don't know what they want and go through men like clothes without any regard for the person's feelings. Women don't hold other women accountable and so the problem of the sexes persist.
How many times have you heard women going on about how you can't trust men? I don't disagree that interpersonal relationships in society in general are deteriorating and that some people are cold and calloused towards the emotions of others, and there are definitely instances where our fears of hurting someone else only hurts them worse, but what demograph doesn't have poor examples? Examples that get put under a microscope by some, and assume the narrow vision is a summary of the whole.
As for this "problem of the sexes," George Carlin summed it up best - Men are stupid because women are crazy. Women are crazy because men are stupid.
 

Cacotopia

Let's go full Trottle
How many times have you heard women going on about how you can't trust men? I don't disagree that interpersonal relationships in society in general are deteriorating and that some people are cold and calloused towards the emotions of others, and there are definitely instances where our fears of hurting someone else only hurts them worse, but what demograph doesn't have poor examples? Examples that get put under a microscope by some, and assume the narrow vision is a summary of the whole.
As for this "problem of the sexes," George Carlin summed it up best - Men are stupid because women are crazy. Women are crazy because men are stupid.


CONSTANTLY. But then those women can't be trusted either. Cause they be damaged goods or will allow their emotions to control them. And usually when emotions govern thoughts stupid decisions are made.

Bill Burr said men drop dead in their 50's cause they spent a lifetime burying their emotions. Because society looked on them poorly or thought them weak if they allowed any to seep to the surface. But in most comedians' comedy there are harsh truths buried within. In at least what I would deem as good comedy.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
I see...but it's immoral if you cheat on your spouse.
The lover isn't cheating anybody..so, I exclude that his behavior (having an affair with a married woman) is immoral.

Yes, it's immoral to cheat on one's spouse, so she should get most of the blame. But my only point was that if the other guy knew that she was already married, I don't see how he can be excused.
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
Yes, it's immoral to cheat on one's spouse, so she should get most of the blame. But my only point was that if the other guy knew that she was already married, I don't see how he can be excused.
I had a relationship with a married man...I never considered myself "immoral" but...ok...I get it...
 

Stanyon

WWMRD?
Married Women working as cheap bar girls because they were bored while their husbands were in the field.
 

Cacotopia

Let's go full Trottle
I was involved in an affair once, although to my defense I was not aware of it being an affair. I ended it after I found out though. Which damaged my perception of women for some time afterwards.. I mean who does that? Apparently quite a few. Husband is away for work or whatever they get lonely and start up a relationship with some other guy to have attention. Just wow though that's effed up.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Do pre-nups always hold up in court? I've heard some people say that even a pre-nup can be made inadmissible, but I haven't checked that myself, so I'm not sure.

I am no expert, but my understanding is that they're like any other contract (in so far as being contestable), but there is nothing in them which makes them unenforceable in the way some employment classes are (restraint of trade, for example).
 
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