Ex-Husband wins $9 million dollar case from “wife’s lover” in alienation of affection case.

[Epic Beard Man]

Don't let the broken break you, that's my advice. There are plenty of good ones out there looking for a good man. Up you entirely if you aren't willing to be that guy, but if not I understand. Though, honestly, we're in this weird time where I think it's advantageous to delay marriage well past child-bearing ages -- that, of course, isn't so good for making kids or parenting them. I think people are growing up a lot older... like 35... This is a downside between our convenient society and the lack of adversity it brings.

Most marriages end when one of the partners decides they're going to need to do something to get their rocks off, and maybe that's the real problem. Maybe we should just let people do their thing and still keep the household together. Just because you want to try someone/something new doesn't mean that you want to live with them or have their kids, or keep them.

But define good?

I’m sure this guy thought his wife was a good woman at one point. The scary thing is when relationships progress then like a new car smell it goes away.

 

[Woberts]

Then prove otherwise

I care about my girlfriend's feelings, and I hope that she feels the same. That's the first point. As for the second, my brother just remarried his first wife a few months ago. If that's not repairing a relationship, I don't know what is.

 

[Mindmaster]

But define good?

I’m sure this guy thought his wife was a good woman at one point. The scary thing is when relationships progress then like a new car smell it goes away.

Dunno, but obviously something wasn't working out. This isn't the first step a woman takes, there are arguments and disputes first. If those issues aren't addressed then the escape protocol is activated.

 

[PureX]

Sounds like you want a one sided relationship. A TRUE relationship is about compromise, understanding, and communication. All relationships have some form of expectations because if there wasn’t that would render the idea of relationship fluid and interchangeable. A relationship especially a marriage is about a union and an agreement between two consenting people. It’s not about understanding this or that from their perspective because the understanding has to be reciprocal.

I think Mr. Taoist you missed that in class. We all have expectations for ourselves and for others. If people don’t meet those expectations people move on, or compromise that particular thing they may not like. This happens a lot in relationships.

I think you're too angry and resentful right now to consider what I'm saying. So I'll leave it be.

 

[Estro Felino]

Dunno, but obviously something wasn't working out. This isn't the first step a woman takes, there are arguments and disputes first. If those issues aren't addressed then the escape protocol is activated.

I thought the subject of this thread was "is the lover responsible, somehow, either juridically or morally, for the end of their marriage?"

My answer is: no, only the wife is.
Blaming a third is unjust and pointless

 

[Hockeycowboy]

Wow! I feel for the guy! I went through it, too...but I know the role I played in destroying my marriage. I regret it to this day. (No adultery on my part, though.)

You really need to spend time getting to know your prospective mate! No guarantees, even then.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I care about my girlfriend's feelings, and I hope that she feels the same. That's the first point. As for the second, my brother just remarried his first wife a few months ago. If that's not repairing a relationship, I don't know what is.

Those are YOUR experiences so how does YOUR experiences trump mine?

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Dunno, but obviously something wasn't working out. This isn't the first step a woman takes, there are arguments and disputes first. If those issues aren't addressed then the escape protocol is activated.

But the problem even as a clinician I have seen is people are very bad at communication. Some times people think we humans have telepathy, and in addition to that, some people are very bad at communication based on how they have grown up. If people do not adapt to each and compromise on the things that both are at odds with, the relationship will indeed fail. The primary issue I see even in young women is the lack of fortitude and giving up when it gets tough. We all are different people with different experiences and we do not marry ourselves. We marry an individual outside ourselves with their own sets of experiences.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I think you're too angry and resentful right now to consider what I'm saying. So I'll leave it be.

I'm not even angry that is what you're perceiving from me. This thread isn't about me however its about a man who I resonate with in the sense of certain aspects but more importantly it's a case where he sued his wife's lover.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I just looked at it again, and you're right. They showed one picture with the baby, but the face was blurred out. That may be why I missed it before.

It was rather painful to watch. You'd think that he would have realized it was over when she moved out.

I guess that's one reason I never married, since I've seen a lot of divorce; and marriage doesn't really seem like it's that much of a serious commitment. I've often heard it said that "men are afraid of commitment," but where is the "commitment" in something that's so easily discardable nowadays?

The commitment is between the people. I can discard any promise I make, but that doesn't mean I will. Trick to marriage is to find someone who shares that view.

 

[Deidre]

Cheating is always wrong. But, move on with your life, heal. Spending your life in a courtroom getting revenge? Meh, no one is worth that anguish. If my husband cheats on me, it would hurt and be horrible, but I'm the type that just never talks to someone again when they've wronged me.

But, then again... I could sue for millions of dollars...buwahhhaaaa!!

 

[Deidre]

I wonder if she'll dump her lover now and say...''wait, you're broke now.''

Karma can be funny.

I do like though, that the courts are acknowledging that men have feelings just as much as women, and can be victims of emotional abusive relationships.

 

[Estro Felino]

Cheating is always wrong. But, move on with your life, heal. Spending your life in a courtroom getting revenge? Meh, no one is worth that anguish. If my husband cheats on me, it would hurt and be horrible, but I'm the type that just never talks to someone again when they've wronged me.

But, then again... I could sue for millions of dollars...buwahhhaaaa!!

Right...but why suing the lover? He's not responsible at all...I mean, he can sue his wife for the hedonic damage, but not her lover

 

[Deidre]

Right...but why suing the lover? He's not responsible at all...I mean, he can sue his wife for the hedonic damage, but not her lover

Totally agree. I don't think he should have sued at all, because it just kept him lost in the drama. I think some people get more obsessed with losing their marriage, as though their entire identity was wrapped up in it. That's actually the sadder part than the cheating, imo. I get that it would be a horrible thing to find out, but you will get past it. You can move on. Things will get better. But, people often can't see that, if they are going through a break up.

 

[Cacotopia]

Exactly. We live in a world where feelings are not considered and the repairing of relationships are not sought. If men are afraid of commitment, then women are afraid of endurance.

Not EDIT hurting feeling with lying does astronomically more damage.

That's a deal breaker for me even. Relationship is over at that point.

 

[Cacotopia]

She had two years to talk about her side. She hasn't bothered it seems like.

well she is what the c word is for. I know I'm gonna get flak for it too. but that's honestly the perfect example right there.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Not lying does astronomically more damage.

That's a deal breaker for me even. Relationship is over at that point.

Not lying does damage? Um, am I missing something here or am I reading it wrong?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Sorry only weak people think like this. We are adults and when we get into relationships we ought to be honest and truthful. A person ought to let another know what their likes and dislikes are and what they want. If there is some cohesion then it’s good. But if problems persist and there is no effort being made by the one that is unhappy then it’s selfish for a person to bail without trying especially if love is involved.

Which is why I ask the question why some women can bail even after saying they love a man or cheat on a man like the woman in the picture? Instead of being honest you’ll be dishonest and therefore I should wish you well that some other guy is banging you out while you leave my heart in shambles? Nah that is weak male syndrome

If things aren't working, is it really weak to acknowledge this and consider things aren't working out that well? Is it strength to lack the courage to vocalize such concerns and not consider breaking up to find fulfillment with someone else? People fall in love, but they also can fall out of love and drift apart for various reasons.
I also don't think you truly believe the "don't trust women" post you made. You can probably do a quick inventory and think of at least a few women you trust.

 

[Stevicus]

it was over but she didn't file for divorce? or separation, she just left cause she seems like a selfish ****. But then again we don't know her side of the story.

That's true. The video only gave one side of the story. Either they didn't try to interview the wife and her lover; or they refused to be interviewed. I know that if I had lost a $9 million court judgment, I would fight it, but there's no sign of that in this case. Or (more likely) the producers of this story are leaving out a lot of information.

 

[Stevicus]

Exactly. We live in a world where feelings are not considered and the repairing of relationships are not sought. If men are afraid of commitment, then women are afraid of endurance.

Yeah, I've noticed that in a lot of situations, where there's little to no attempt to repair whatever might be broken in the relationship. Obviously, there must have been something to base their relationship on for them to get together and get married in the first place. But to discard it so frivolously like that is questionable.

Maybe after a few more court cases like this with hefty judgments, people will think twice before whimsically filing for divorce - or they may decide it's not worth getting married at all.