1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Straight men and femininity

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by VoidCat, Aug 18, 2022.

  1. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2011
    Messages:
    36,014
    Ratings:
    +21,933
    Religion:
    Saivite Hindu
    Neither do I. I like the t-shirt 'Real men wear pink." I think the masculinity of some young men reeks of their own insecurity.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
  2. Viker

    Viker Spirit in Black

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2011
    Messages:
    8,245
    Ratings:
    +7,860
    Religion:
    In Diabolica
    Everything we deem masculine or feminine comes from our culture. It's learned and environmental.

    Many straight men don't act feminine because they already inherently know their masculine behavior is an act. It's just the one they are familiar with and feel most relaxed with. Some of this behavior may seem natural to them. A second skin always does that, seem natural.

    Masculinity and feminity are acts...the way we represent them are masks. The ones who are bent on they're own masculinity don't ever want this exposed. The soft vulnerable humanity underneath the the macho action hero veneer.

    Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
  3. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
    Staff Member Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2013
    Messages:
    24,002
    Ratings:
    +17,496
    Religion:
    atheist
    Yup. It's all contextual.
    But there have been taboos against it in many cultures over time. Certainly it was a thing in ancient Rome.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2014
    Messages:
    20,982
    Ratings:
    +8,721
    Religion:
    Christianity
    Well... if by femininity you mean sweetness, kindness, etc...etc...
    sure...why not? I like men that are like that (in bed I expect them to be manly and dominant, though:p:oops:).

    I tell you an anecdote. There was a guy in my high school..we all used to think he was gay or something. He was too delicate, too silent...but very cute of course.
    Then...after university I was gossiping with my best friend and she told me this guy (become even cuter) had married a friend of hers. And she confessed her that he was terrific in bed.
    I was speechless. Appearance is really deceiving.

    On the contrary...there was this Italian singer...who was incredibly tough, manly, with a Mike Tyson voice...and I used to think he was the epitome of the straight macho-man, since he used to sing songs dedicated to women. Then he came out...he got married with a man...and apparently I heard he is the passive part in the couple.
    I was speechless.
    It's not what it seems.
    So it is impossible to generalize as for traits like manhood.
     
    #24 Estro Felino, Aug 18, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
    • Winner Winner x 1
  5. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2014
    Messages:
    20,982
    Ratings:
    +8,721
    Religion:
    Christianity
    I need to add that maybe my culture oversemplifies the notions of manhood and femininity.
    Manhood is when a person has sex with a woman, regardless of personal traits.
     
    • Useful Useful x 1
  6. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Certified People sTabber

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    87,436
    Ratings:
    +40,376
    Religion:
    God is in the Rain
    I think it's probably a psychosocial thing where it involves unwritten rules about gender expectations combined with male insecurities and the reality of rejection being something that hurts.
    For cultures influenced by Christianity and Islam this comes with many outlandish claims about how men and women are "naturally" supposed to act, going as far as to say it's a violation of the natural soul and nature to not act as you're expected to. And indeed we do know of many past and present cultures that did have views of gender that are far more congruent with the natural world, where men were men and women were women, but there was still a place for those who fell outside of that.
    And if it needs explained why nature laughs at our ideas of it being perfect and that everything should be either-or, this or that, you just need some remedial highschool science classes, especially biology, which seems Nature's messiest design where the normally stable and highly predictable Laws of Nature are replaced with something that appears more akin to a game of poker where there is predictability but it's very shaken up.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Heyo

    Heyo Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2019
    Messages:
    12,487
    Ratings:
    +11,870
    Religion:
    none
    Because of sexual dimorphism - which is very weak in humans - and the gender roles that result from that. At least those traits that have an evolutionary advantage can be explained biologically. Many can't, they are artefacts of culture.
    If a sex specific behaviour can be found in chimpanzees, it is probably biological. E.g. aggression and dominance (shown to entities outside the tribe) is a typical male trait as males are tasked with defending the tribe.
    Or as @Revoltingest put it, the more men are like knuckle-walking apes, the more they are seen as masculine.
     
    • Useful Useful x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  8. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2014
    Messages:
    20,982
    Ratings:
    +8,721
    Religion:
    Christianity
    That's what I remarked. In Germanic (including Anglo-Saxon cultures) manhood is a notion that exists regardless of one's sex life, of one's sexuality. You spoke of aggression and dominance. Well...even a female CEO or business chief can be aggressive and dominant, so...
    In Mediterranean cultures (especially mine), if I think of the Italian terms associated with manhood, they all refer to man's sexuality.
    I can give you the example of Berlusconi. Nobody can deny he is a true gentleman. Always kind and gentle. But what makes him "the real man" in the eyes of most Italians is that he is rumored to have slept with a countless number of beautiful and young girls.
    On the contrary...Macron is rumored to have certain tendencies...and here he is not considered "male" for so many reason. Even if he is pretty kind and gentle as well.
     
    #28 Estro Felino, Aug 19, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. Sedim Haba

    Sedim Haba Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2021
    Messages:
    948
    Ratings:
    +771
    Religion:
    Pre-Abrahamic Noahide
    It is very beneficial for men to get in touch with their feminine side.

    'Acting' more feminine, esp. in public, it would depend on the trait of that 'side'.
    Empathy? Absolutely yes. Vulnerability? Absolutely no.
     
  10. questfortruth

    questfortruth Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2017
    Messages:
    6,356
    Ratings:
    +1,070
    Religion:
    Eastern Orthodox Christianity
    He acts. But it does not impress the ladies. Then he stops and says b-word, or f-word, after that he gets a babe.
     
  11. Evangelicalhumanist

    Evangelicalhumanist "Truth" isn't a thing...
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    14,333
    Ratings:
    +17,557
    Religion:
    None.
    One of Canada's greatest ballet Principal dancers was Frank Augustyn -- fabulous grace, Principal Dancer in Berlin, also in Boston, winner of a major prize in Moscow, beautiful to watch. And straight.

    Men who are not in any doubt about their sexuality quite often seem comfortable enough in their own skin that they don't mind occasionally walking upright, with good posture, and enjoying an occasional emotion.

    (This was not to suggest that you are not such. Please take no umbrage at what was not intended. I'm just trying to say that people who are comfortable with who they are tend to worry less about behaving according to some sort of pre-defined pattern.)
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
  12. Guitar's Cry

    Guitar's Cry The "I" in Reality

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    16,097
    Ratings:
    +7,134
    Religion:
    Panreligious mystical paganism
    For me it was instilled that "femininity is weak" and therefore "bad" for males through language like "sissy," "throw like a girl," "man up," and the like. Ridiculous stuff, that!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Abnormal before it was fashionable
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2010
    Messages:
    219,081
    Ratings:
    +84,935
    Religion:
    Atheist
    I am not such.
    Although...being rather oblivious to social things,
    fitting in with normals often eludes me.
     
  14. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2018
    Messages:
    9,053
    Ratings:
    +10,045
    Religion:
    Pagan Witch and Demonolatrist
    Reminds me of someone i know who was caring for an 8 month old infant. He'd cry a lot as most babies do. They kept getting mad over that and kept insisting the kid was just being manipulative so refused to really hold them when they cried like that cuz it'd spoil him. But you cant spoil an 8 month old like that they need to be held occasionally and need affection seeing as they can't talk it's the only way to communicate that is through crying. I remember they kept calling the boy a sissy. And im like he's an 8 month old infant why are you calling them a sissy when it's legit an infant?
     
  15. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Leaderless Animal

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    15,704
    Ratings:
    +15,664
    Religion:
    zen
    • Informative Informative x 1
  16. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Abnormal before it was fashionable
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2010
    Messages:
    219,081
    Ratings:
    +84,935
    Religion:
    Atheist
    Sounds dangerously ignorant & abusive.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
  17. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Leaderless Animal

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    15,704
    Ratings:
    +15,664
    Religion:
    zen
    • Informative Informative x 1
  18. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2018
    Messages:
    9,053
    Ratings:
    +10,045
    Religion:
    Pagan Witch and Demonolatrist
    • Informative Informative x 1
  19. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Leaderless Animal

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    15,704
    Ratings:
    +15,664
    Religion:
    zen
    I think I must be some sort of high-functioning amoeba.

    "the test was unable to categorize your personality as stereotypically feminine or stereotypically masculine"
     
    #39 Secret Chief, Aug 19, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  20. Heyo

    Heyo Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2019
    Messages:
    12,487
    Ratings:
    +11,870
    Religion:
    none
    • Like Like x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
Loading...