Neither do I. I like the t-shirt 'Real men wear pink." I think the masculinity of some young men reeks of their own insecurity.
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Straight men and femininity
- Thread starter VoidCat
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Viker
Häxan
Everything we deem masculine or feminine comes from our culture. It's learned and environmental.
Many straight men don't act feminine because they already inherently know their masculine behavior is an act. It's just the one they are familiar with and feel most relaxed with. Some of this behavior may seem natural to them. A second skin always does that, seem natural.
Masculinity and feminity are acts...the way we represent them are masks. The ones who are bent on they're own masculinity don't ever want this exposed. The soft vulnerable humanity underneath the the macho action hero veneer.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
Yup. It's all contextual.
But there have been taboos against it in many cultures over time. Certainly it was a thing in ancient Rome.
Well... if by femininity you mean sweetness, kindness, etc...etc...
sure...why not? I like men that are like that (in bed I expect them to be manly and dominant, though
).
I tell you an anecdote. There was a guy in my high school..we all used to think he was gay or something. He was too delicate, too silent...but very cute of course.
Then...after university I was gossiping with my best friend and she told me this guy (become even cuter) had married a friend of hers. And she confessed her that he was terrific in bed.
I was speechless. Appearance is really deceiving.
On the contrary...there was this Italian singer...who was incredibly tough, manly, with a Mike Tyson voice...and I used to think he was the epitome of the straight macho-man, since he used to sing songs dedicated to women. Then he came out...he got married with a man...and apparently I heard he is the passive part in the couple.
I was speechless.
It's not what it seems.
So it is impossible to generalize as for traits like manhood.
sure...why not? I like men that are like that (in bed I expect them to be manly and dominant, though
).I tell you an anecdote. There was a guy in my high school..we all used to think he was gay or something. He was too delicate, too silent...but very cute of course.
Then...after university I was gossiping with my best friend and she told me this guy (become even cuter) had married a friend of hers. And she confessed her that he was terrific in bed.
I was speechless. Appearance is really deceiving.
On the contrary...there was this Italian singer...who was incredibly tough, manly, with a Mike Tyson voice...and I used to think he was the epitome of the straight macho-man, since he used to sing songs dedicated to women. Then he came out...he got married with a man...and apparently I heard he is the passive part in the couple.
I was speechless.
It's not what it seems.
So it is impossible to generalize as for traits like manhood.
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Well... if by femininity you mean sweetness, kindness, etc...etc...
sure...why not? I like men that are like that (in bed I expect them to be men, very manly and dominant, though
I tell you an anecdote. There was a guy in my high school..we all used to think he was gay or something. He was too delicate, too silent...but very cute of course.
Then...after university I was gossiping with my best friend and she told me this guy (become even cuter) had married a friend of hers. And she confessed her that he was terrific in bed. Very dominant and restless and she was very satisfied (lucky her).
I was speechless. Appearance is really deceiving.
On the contrary...there was this Italian singer...who was incredibly tough, manly, with a Mike Tyson voice...and who used to think he was the epitome of the straight macho-man, since he used to sing songs dedicating them to women. Then he came out...he get married with a man...and apparently I heard he is the passive part in the couple.
I was speechless.
In fact there are lots of muscular, incredibly manly men who are exclusively passive (bottom)...and that is the demonstration that appearances are deceiving. It's not what it seems.
I need to add that maybe my culture oversemplifies the notions of manhood and femininity.
Manhood is when a person has sex with a woman, regardless of personal traits.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber
I think it's probably a psychosocial thing where it involves unwritten rules about gender expectations combined with male insecurities and the reality of rejection being something that hurts.
For cultures influenced by Christianity and Islam this comes with many outlandish claims about how men and women are "naturally" supposed to act, going as far as to say it's a violation of the natural soul and nature to not act as you're expected to. And indeed we do know of many past and present cultures that did have views of gender that are far more congruent with the natural world, where men were men and women were women, but there was still a place for those who fell outside of that.
And if it needs explained why nature laughs at our ideas of it being perfect and that everything should be either-or, this or that, you just need some remedial highschool science classes, especially biology, which seems Nature's messiest design where the normally stable and highly predictable Laws of Nature are replaced with something that appears more akin to a game of poker where there is predictability but it's very shaken up.
For cultures influenced by Christianity and Islam this comes with many outlandish claims about how men and women are "naturally" supposed to act, going as far as to say it's a violation of the natural soul and nature to not act as you're expected to. And indeed we do know of many past and present cultures that did have views of gender that are far more congruent with the natural world, where men were men and women were women, but there was still a place for those who fell outside of that.
And if it needs explained why nature laughs at our ideas of it being perfect and that everything should be either-or, this or that, you just need some remedial highschool science classes, especially biology, which seems Nature's messiest design where the normally stable and highly predictable Laws of Nature are replaced with something that appears more akin to a game of poker where there is predictability but it's very shaken up.
Heyo
Veteran Member
Because of sexual dimorphism - which is very weak in humans - and the gender roles that result from that. At least those traits that have an evolutionary advantage can be explained biologically. Many can't, they are artefacts of culture.
If a sex specific behaviour can be found in chimpanzees, it is probably biological. E.g. aggression and dominance (shown to entities outside the tribe) is a typical male trait as males are tasked with defending the tribe.
Or as @Revoltingest put it, the more men are like knuckle-walking apes, the more they are seen as masculine.
That's what I remarked. In Germanic (including Anglo-Saxon cultures) manhood is a notion that exists regardless of one's sex life, of one's sexuality. You spoke of aggression and dominance. Well...even a female CEO or business chief can be aggressive and dominant, so...
In Mediterranean cultures (especially mine), if I think of the Italian terms associated with manhood, they all refer to man's sexuality.
I can give you the example of Berlusconi. Nobody can deny he is a true gentleman. Always kind and gentle. But what makes him "the real man" in the eyes of most Italians is that he is rumored to have slept with a countless number of beautiful and young girls.
On the contrary...Macron is rumored to have certain tendencies...and here he is not considered "male" for so many reason. Even if he is pretty kind and gentle as well.
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Sedim Haba
Outa here... bye-bye!
It is very beneficial for men to get in touch with their feminine side.
'Acting' more feminine, esp. in public, it would depend on the trait of that 'side'.
Empathy? Absolutely yes. Vulnerability? Absolutely no.
questfortruth
Well-Known Member
He acts. But it does not impress the ladies. Then he stops and says b-word, or f-word, after that he gets a babe.
One of Canada's greatest ballet Principal dancers was Frank Augustyn -- fabulous grace, Principal Dancer in Berlin, also in Boston, winner of a major prize in Moscow, beautiful to watch. And straight.
Men who are not in any doubt about their sexuality quite often seem comfortable enough in their own skin that they don't mind occasionally walking upright, with good posture, and enjoying an occasional emotion.
(This was not to suggest that you are not such. Please take no umbrage at what was not intended. I'm just trying to say that people who are comfortable with who they are tend to worry less about behaving according to some sort of pre-defined pattern.)
Guitar's Cry
Disciple of Pan
For me it was instilled that "femininity is weak" and therefore "bad" for males through language like "sissy," "throw like a girl," "man up," and the like. Ridiculous stuff, that!
I am not such.
Although...being rather oblivious to social things,
fitting in with normals often eludes me.
VoidCat
Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Reminds me of someone i know who was caring for an 8 month old infant. He'd cry a lot as most babies do. They kept getting mad over that and kept insisting the kid was just being manipulative so refused to really hold them when they cried like that cuz it'd spoil him. But you cant spoil an 8 month old like that they need to be held occasionally and need affection seeing as they can't talk it's the only way to communicate that is through crying. I remember they kept calling the boy a sissy. And im like he's an 8 month old infant why are you calling them a sissy when it's legit an infant?
Secret Chief
nirvana is samsara
Girly calculator. Score above 4 and you should be ashamed of yourself. I stopped with the nail varnish years ago.
- 14 Strongest Feminine Traits & Where Women Fall in this Spectrum
- 14 Strongest Feminine Traits & Where Women Fall in this Spectrum
Sounds dangerously ignorant & abusive.
Secret Chief
nirvana is samsara
VoidCat
Pronouns: he/him/they/them
Secret Chief
nirvana is samsara
I think I must be some sort of high-functioning amoeba.
"the test was unable to categorize your personality as stereotypically feminine or stereotypically masculine"
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