Question for those who chose another religious path

[Dena]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

 

[Morse]

Well, I haven't told my parents anything beyond the fact that I no longer go to church.

But yes, they treat me differently because I don't go to church with them and refuse to be baptized.

Only ever comes up on Sundays though.

 

[blackout]

There's no one (living) in my family who would really 'care'.

(ie... they have no religious "investments" themselves)

 

[te_lanus]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

My parents know, methinks, that I follow my own path. My dad found, by my carelessness, They came to visit and I had a altar made up,and forgot to take it down. The reaction was a "what the @#$%#@ are you doing", Today they might talk religion but it is made clear to me that Only Christianity will be discussed in their house. Me worshiping God And Asherah is not welcome.

 

[YmirGF]

I grew up an atheist, your basic Mr. Spock clone. My family was fairly worried about me when I began talking about consciousness, immortality and god. (Ok, it took me awhile to learn to not confuse them.) When I finally realized that I could allay their fears by simply keeping my thinking to myself, everything returned to normal. Now, decades down the road, I have more understanding and can do little pirouettes on their brains in a way that makes them think. They aren't worried about me now.

 

[zenzero]

Friend Dena,

Question for those who chose another religious path

Though born to parents who follow Sanatan Dharma, never was an ardent follower as such but tried to understand the various aspects of Sanatan Dharma.
Studying at a Catholic School was introduced to Jesus through the Bible History classes. Through college studied buddhism, zen and stay with Jain friends and family.
One thing that have realised is that all religions are just PATHS or WAYS to know the SELF which is nothing but *energy* and part of that *universal energy* which is labelled *god*.
The journey is always their but some do it knowingly others unknowingly.
By changing of the PATHS/WAYS/RELIGION, nothing much changes as one has to choose what suits him to reach his goal.

Personally follow no set religious PATHS/WAYS except do things *religiously*.
Love & rgds

 

[DadBurnett]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

I*'ve changed several times and i have family members who disagree (to say the least) with my choices. The hardest part of this scenario is the necessity of me giving them and their views the respect I want from them for me and my views. We can't expect from others what we are not able to give others ....

 

[Dena]

I'm fairly certain my friends and family will not be at all happy to find out that I don't subscribe to their Christian religion any longer. I mean, I expect full out sobbing from my mother. I can see a lot of hateful attitude in my future as well. I had the nerve to vocalize the fact that I didn't believe people would burn in hell for eternity and the look on their faces was priceless. It was if I had just said I eat babies for breakfast. I have seen the way non-Christians are treated and quite frankly, I don't want to be thought of in that way. It's as if they are inferior, always suspect. I'm feeling very anxious about dealing with the questions, the mean comments, the hateful attitude, the fear of me burning in hell for all eternity. But..then again, I don't want to hide who I am from everybody either. It's exhausting. I don't think it's healthy. I'm just wondering how I'm going to let the cat out of the bag and how I'm going to deal with the consequences.

 

[Rogue Cardinal]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

An excellent set of questions.

I had kept it as secret and was not comfortable talking about it with just anybody. My brother found out and told my mother....who in kind told my father.

Their initial reaction was to stew on it for about a week.

Then I got a phone call and my mother was talking VERY oddly and I knew she was baiting me into a religious conversation, but could tell that she was VERY uncomfortable discussing it. She was feeding me opportunity to speak up.

So I finally just got on with it as it was obvious she had questions.

Her initial reaction was pure anger. She screamed and cried at me over the phone and did what I think a typical theistic parent would do.....opine about my immortal soul and those of my children!!!

Then she couldn't take it anymore and got off the phone.

Several days later she composed herself and tried again to talk to me. This time I was a bit more militant in my stance. She felt she could convince me otherwise but she quickly discovered that she couldn't speak as deeply about the subject as I could and she found herself confused and unable to defend her positions.....which of course led to more crying and broken heartedness.

A couple of weeks went by and she called me and let me know she had wrestled with all of this and was at peace with my decision. She let it go....."turned it over to God"...as they say.

It's all good now. We can BRIEFLY talk about it...even joke about it. BUt they refuse to go in deep with me.

I've been an Atheist for about 4 years now......that conversation happened early this year! So yeah it was really hard for me to do. I was very concerned how they would react. It's hard when you have something you know is right but everyone else in your life knows is wrong. They are taught.....I was taught....to believe a certain way. It is very hard to break the spell of something you have been taught your whole life is right.

I am not treated any differently. I think the whole experience actually brought us closer together and my parents KNOW ME now.

 

[TheKnight]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

I told my parents via email. They reacted...let's say they weren't happy. Neither were any of the other people I told.

If I could change it though, I wouldn't. My existence alone (in certain heavily Christian areas) is enough to spark questioning. ("Why don't you believe in Jesus?") What marvelous opportunities I've had to get people to question and think deeply about what it is that they believe.

It's a great joy to see a Christian begin to question and say "Hmm, I guess I don't know why I believe that. I should and I will go study it and get back to you." And they usually keep to their word.

Of course, there are the ones that are....somewhat violent. But I'm in pretty good physical shape and can handle myself well. I don't think anyone's done anything physical in almost a year.

 

[enchanted_one1975]

I didn't tell my family. I don't think I could. It is not that I am embarrassed, but everyone in my family is either overly Catholic, closed minded, or a big heaping pile of both. I get enough evangelist action at work. I don't need it from family too. For the record, the part of my family that is my household knows about my faith. If I tell them I am going to the yard for a few hours for a ritual, they respect me and leave me alone. My fiance introduced me to Wicca and her kids are used to it because of her. It's nothing new, except our four dogs kind of look at me weird when I spend hours sorting out gemstones and stuff.

 

[DavyCrocket2003]

Holy Cow! Some people... Wow. How on earth could you get mad at someone for what they believe?! I mean, how can a sincere questioning and searching for truth ever be a bad thing? What is the point in believing something if you can't actually think about it and evaluate your beliefs? It sound like we are living among a bunch of shallow, ignorant people. No wonder some atheists are antagonistic towards theists if this is what they had to go through.

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

My parents accepted my religious preferences but not without raising their fears and concerns which we've discussed in length. It was never a source of much tension. They were generally very accepting people and both of them in one way or another had rejected the religion of their own parents.

 

[blackout]

If my mom were alive,
I would have probably had to move far away
to openly be mySelf without having every little thing about mySelf
be a constant and continual "issue". (after having left christianity)

When she passed on,
we were all exactly "who" she was most happy seeing us to be.
So that was good for her.
Within 5 years of her passing,
we all left religion, each one seperately and for our own personal reasons.

She was a devout and sincere Roman Catholic
and always elevated family above all else.
(besides her religion that is. :areyoucra )
This last part caused more "expectaion" problems than I liked unfortunately,
though she always did mean well.

It really is never healthy to hold people to your own "I'deals".

 

[Ardeaa]

My Mom would have cared, but she is no longer living. I did come right out and tell my sister, but she didn't seem interested in talking about it, even though she's quite a devout Christian. It was almost as if she didn't understand what I was saying about being Pagan. I don't know that she knows what it even is or means. Although she shocked me by e-mailing me a link to a news article about an old "witch-bottle" that was unearthed. I never told her I was a witch, but I don't know why she would have sent me the article if she hadn't equated being Pagan with being a witch. She never asked me about it or anything. Perhaps she just doesn't want to know. My niece (grown-up) was fascinated by all of my husband's religious and metaphysical books but I don't know that she assumed he was anything more than just interested in theology and philosophy.

 

[Zardoz]

My family didn't find out about my 'oddness' until my marriage which was, of course, at our Messianic congregation, and not their Traditional Sephardic one. Oh my, that was 'fun'. :sarcastic

My father I came to understandings with, before he died at least, once I explained my whole reasoning to him. My mother, OTOH, will never understand or accept. Likewise the rest of the family. I'm the 'black sheep' now. But, then again, I don't see it as 'another spiritual path'. Only they do.

 

[BruceDLimber]

Greetings!

I simply told them I'd made the change.

My father didn't say anything; my mother was initially disappointed but stipulated that it was my right to choose my own path!

And I think both came to accept and appreciate my choice after a time. . . .

Best,

Bruce

 

[Herr Heinrich]

Only my mom is religious and she knows. She is disappointed and sometimes makes comments, but otherwise doesn't seem to mind. The only person who really was upset about it was my fiance's mom.

 

[Atreyu]

For those of you who grew up with one particular religion and changed your mind as an adult (either going to another or doing away with it all together), how did you tell your family? How did they react? Were you concerned with how they would respond or was it a non-issue? Are you treated differently?

Sometimes certain beleifs are better left unsaid for ones own personal benefits.
I choose not to hide it, but I also don't broadcast amongst my personal life.

 

[MoonWater]

Well my mom is a liberal christian and my dad is agnostic/non-religious so growing up it was just me and my mom going to church on sundays. My parents know I am no longer Christian and have no problem with it. Though my mom does wince slightly when I mention the word Pagan, it's only because of the stigma associated with it that she's been brought up with and not because she has anything against me following it. She might quirk her eyebrows a bit more if she knew that I have in a sense adapted aspects of the sith code to my path just as she would probably be a bit more leary if I were to say tell her I am a satanist(which I'm not) but I do know that regardless of the path I chose she would try to understand it and me and not look down on me or condemn me for it. Same goes for my dad though he's not into religion much so we never really talk about it.

I think the only one's with whom problems will arise are my cousins from my mom's side who quite conservative. They would be very uncomfortable with the idea I know that much. With them I think they would prefer me to be non-religious like my dad then follow a pagan path. But I haven't told any of them. It will make things rather difficult getting married though as it will be a very different non-traditional wedding. I would love to have it be all out pagan(and if river and I get married a combination pagan-hindu wedding) but I know something to that extreme would send them running for the hills and giving me dirty looks all the way. lol. So I'll have to keep it somewhat low key and may even have two seperate ceremonies. And if they ever come to visit my place I'm debating if I would lock the altar room and take down the various erotic and pagan artowrk I plan to have around the house, or just let them see it and just learn to deal with having someone like me in the family. We'll just have to wait and see.