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If you go to a strip club, do you expect to have sex?
- Thread starter Meow Mix
- Start date
Heyo
Veteran Member
I've never been to a strip club and never had the urge. But I also don't watch Rosamunde Pilcher flicks. Just not my kind of entertainment.
But even so I've never been there, I know the rules and wouldn't expect to get laid there.
And even so it isn't for me, I don't mind others having fun there or earning their money. It doesn't impact me.
No, I guess I shouldn’t say that, it’s somewhat uncharitable. It’s more non-feminists that have nudity hang-ups I would guess.
That happens, but this is a claim one of us will need to cite one way or the other (whether there is a “majority” this happens with, to what degree, how much of a “majority,” etc.) Anecdotally, I’m still friends with several people from the clubs I worked at.
I’m a scientist (or at least an MS-PhD bridge in astrophysics). One of them is a real estate agent now. One’s an audio engineer now. One’s a yoga/pole aerobics instructor (she’s kind of a new agey hippie type, I love her, she’s happy with this). I haven’t kept track of EVERYBODY of course, but everyone in my circles had their fun as a stepping stone to longer lasting careers.
I’m on a phone right now, so the citation part will have to be done later (unless you have a source you want to cite we can digest).
Edit: for what it’s worth re: the drug thing, there are plenty of servers that do this too. Not a tu quoque, but more pointing out that we can’t blame the stripping industry explicitly for this problem.
Oh, so first you dis feminists, & now you switch to
dissing us non-feminists. Make up yer mind, toots!
Drug culture tends to be more common in seedier subcultures (so we would find it in strip clubs, sure. There was a lot of coke. A loooot of coke sometimes). But this is also true if bars and restaurants. That isn’t something particular to strip clubs. Some of these issues are complicated and interconnected with wider things.
Secret Chief
nirvana is samsara
"According to various research studies, conducted in an international level and based on a detailed selection of quantitative and qualitative data-including interviews of women involved in drugs and sex work- , there seems to be a clear interdependence between sex work and drugs."
- The real link between drug use and sex work
- The Vicious Cycle of Addiction and Prostitution - Addiction Helpline
I've frequented strip clubs and have found some to be enjoyable while others I leave after five minutes. Some require you to buy a drink (overpriced, watered down).
But yes, I enjoy watching nude or mostly nude women dancing if they seem to be enjoying themselves, as opposed to being bored and doing the 'required' moves. I expect to tip for every song when someone is on the pole that I am watching.
I also enjoy casual flirting with the women after their routines, maybe having a lap dance (depends on how pushy they are for such).
I was enough of a regular at some clubs that I got to know the women and chatted with them frequently. I certainly had ones I preferred and I was more likely to request lap dances from those I liked.
Also, my wife and I would often go together. She loved talking with the women and teasing me or buying me lap dances. I have stories.
But sex? Never. Not on the agenda. And certainly not sex for pay.
But yes, I enjoy watching nude or mostly nude women dancing if they seem to be enjoying themselves, as opposed to being bored and doing the 'required' moves. I expect to tip for every song when someone is on the pole that I am watching.
I also enjoy casual flirting with the women after their routines, maybe having a lap dance (depends on how pushy they are for such).
I was enough of a regular at some clubs that I got to know the women and chatted with them frequently. I certainly had ones I preferred and I was more likely to request lap dances from those I liked.
Also, my wife and I would often go together. She loved talking with the women and teasing me or buying me lap dances. I have stories.
But sex? Never. Not on the agenda. And certainly not sex for pay.
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
I don't know... but when I had a lap dance the lady told me she liked being with me cause I don't smell like alcohol and stuff.* So, there's a lot of stigmatizing involved from the outside but when you speak to workers (we're quasi-conservative here anyhow) you'll get a different picture.
Just be nice to the women, treat them as people, and tip (that's where they get their money to live). It really isn't that complicated.
Thanks for the cite, I’ll pick it back up in hopefully 8+ hours (please for the love of whatever will the universe let me sleep a full 8 on a research meeting day for once?)
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I'm not into the sex stuff myself. I just like the visuals and fantasy. Good enough for me.
PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I'm too lazy to go.
TagliatelliMonster
Veteran Member
I think most guys would be like "I don't expect it, but I sure hope so!"
Never been to a strip club though and not interested in it either. Sounds a bit too sleazy for me.
The idea of paying for sex or to see naked flesh doesn't really strike me as money well spend.
Although I can certainly imagine situations where I might think differently.
Secret Chief
nirvana is samsara
I can see it's a complex relationship between sex work and drugs but it seems to me your experience has not been the norm (at least compared to the UK).
night night
It's been a very long time since I ever visited a strip club. Back in my college days, I would hang out with friends who liked to go to strip clubs, so I would reluctantly go along. I never expected to have sex, although I knew a few guys who did (although not at the club itself, but arrangements for a later time). While in the club, the rule was "look, but don't touch," yet that didn't preclude the possibility of arranging something privately.
But I must confess that I never felt all that comfortable in strip clubs. I had nothing against the dancers or anyone who worked there, but oftentimes, I would sense the clientele were somewhat skeezy and borderline criminal. I even stopped hanging around with other guys who seemed to have some obsession with going to strip clubs or peep shows or anything with that kind of environment. They were mainly just a bunch of jerks and cokeheads anyway. Last time I entered a strip club was probably around '85 or '86.
Although later on, I did know a couple of women who worked as strippers, one of them was a fellow graduate student. She had worked as a waitress and also a tutor, but couldn't really make much money at that. Stripping was far more lucrative. But I could see that it took a toll on her; she was quite upset one evening while recounting a story of some particularly boorish and rude patron at the club. There was also an ex-boyfriend/stalker in the picture, who didn't approve of her working at a strip club and was giving her problems, too.
TagliatelliMonster
Veteran Member
To be honest with you, I wouldn't have a clue what the "numbers" are.
For sure, there are sex workers out there (be it in prostitution, strip bars, or adult media) that fit this profile.
There are also others who are quite serious about what they do and who make boatloads of money while doing it, and enjoying it.
But those aren't the stories that are covered in the news off course.
The news covers the tragedy and the suffering.
It doesn't cover the high-class escorts who live at the gym and make 20k a week.
I would never go into a strip club for single women because those muscled men are not my types.
My types are the short, chubby hairy ones.
My types are the short, chubby hairy ones.
You know, I've never been to one. Not my cup of tea.