If you go to a strip club, do you expect to have sex?

[Heyo]

I'm not into the sex stuff myself. I just like the visuals and fantasy. Good enough for me.

Maybe I'm spoiled, but if I want to see scantily clad or nude people, I'd go to the beach.

 

[F1fan]

Performing a little poll experiment to make a point to @PureX :

If you go to a strip club, are you expecting to have sex?

Eventually. Probably. It might take years, but sure.

Or are you aware that you're going to be tipping for drinks and tipping dancers to watch only?

Is watching dancers fun for you even if you don't get to have sex with them?

I went to a strip club when I was 21 with a bachelor party. In one sense it was Shangra La for a young guy. But I feel guilt and shame, and realized being there isn't my thing. All I could think is if these girls are working out of desperation for money. My attitude probably ruined this discussion.

 

[F1fan]

I only ever went to a strip club to fix their pinball machines, I sometimes got offered a drink which is sort of a tip

You get there find it's only unplugged, but it'll take hours to figure out how to plug it back in.

 

[Mock Turtle]

"According to various research studies, conducted in an international level and based on a detailed selection of quantitative and qualitative data-including interviews of women involved in drugs and sex work- , there seems to be a clear interdependence between sex work and drugs."
- The real link between drug use and sex work


- The Vicious Cycle of Addiction and Prostitution - Addiction Helpline

This is the worse aspect of both - one leading to the other all too often.

 

[Secret Chief]

This is the worse aspect of both - one leading to the other all too often.

From my local news stories, the two go hand in hand.

 

[PureX]

I'd never expect sex from a strip club.

And yet many of them do also engage in prostitution, though they claim not to if it's illegal.

 

[PureX]

I went with the first option. I'm really not interested in going to strip clubs though so I'm treating it as a hypothetical. A few of my friends at university did pole dancing and burlesque* so I'd sometimes go with them as a show of support. It still felt a little awkward at times though and I certainly didn't expect to have sex with the dancers.

There was one occasion where a venue for a metal gig hosted a strip show once the gig was over. As it happens, the strippers were also prostitutes and paying for a private "dance" involved a lot more than dancing... Nope. Not interested.

Maybe that's why some people might expect to have sex with strippers? A strip club might just be a front for a brothel, similar to some massage parlors.

Well, there's also the fact that the whole strip dance is designed to inspire a desire for sex in the viewer, and to insinuate that desire by the dancer. Though, in the end it's all just a big put-on intended to take people's money.

Why anyone would find all this "entertaining" is a bit difficult to comprehend.

 

[PureX]

This is a thing that exists sometimes. Not in either of the clubs I worked at; as far as I knew none of my coworkers were doing anything on the side, at least not in the club.

Still, I think people understand they're not having sex going to a strip club (and they still have fun) for the most part.

What's fun about being deliberately titillated and then rejected, and paying for it? Seems to me such a person needs a psychologist, not a lap dance.

 

[PureX]

Well @PureX , it appears that at least among this admittedly unscientific poll, most people understand they’re not getting sex at a reputable club, know what they’re paying for, and have fun anyway.

Are they being exploited?

Actually, just reading these posts, so far, it does not appear that way at all. It looks to me like most of the responders see strip joints for what they are: gross, creepy, mercenary, and as likely to be offering sex for money, as not.

 

[PureX]

Pretty much. It's like going to a restaurant and asking because we smile and chat with the waitress we expect her (and she expects to) fix our food and sit and eat with us. While I know quite a few waitresses that don't mind talking to customers for a few mins while taking an order I'd be hard pressed to find a customer asking the waiter to eat with her or waitress saying "I'll make you my favorite dish."... and in the US they do expect tips.

Yeah, it's not like that at all, though.

 

[PureX]

Well....

Nudes a Poppin....

It may not be completely all of America, but it is an American dream.

It's weird. Europe is one of the most open places on earth yet a little t and a over here?

I'm convinced it's the Bible belt getting all worked up while everyone else relaxes with a cigarette and a little drink afterwards watching the pent up folks go crazy.

Yeah, it's always nice to enjoy the suffering of others.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

What's fun about being deliberately titillated and then rejected, and paying for it? Seems to me such a person needs a psychologist, not a lap dance.

That's basically it. You're paying to get teased (or paying to get fooled, or pay to laugh at a comedy, or pay to trick your brain into a virtual reality game at an amusement park).

Not everyone like's to be teased by the same things if not at all like a tickle or whatever else, but I'm not sure how teasing in and of itself (and paying for it) is immoral regardless how much one likes or dislikes it.

 

[Mock Turtle]

From my local news stories, the two go hand in hand.

Even if they often do it's still not a good reason to ban prostitution for those who are capable of not doing such, but more about it being better controlled.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Yeah, it's not like that at all, though.

When I went for awhile that's how I treated it. I don't see people as "kids" just because they are sexually stimulated. Some people bring their husbands or wives to strip clubs just as they do when going out to eat. Where I live strip clubs are "gentleman's clubs" and have strict rules when it comes to anything unrelated to business (aka, anything illegal and suggests liability issues).

 

[PureX]

I think most guys would be like "I don't expect it, but I sure hope so!"

A lot like going to a casino ... another place that just wants your money, and pretends it'll give you something that it won't.

 

[PureX]

It's been a very long time since I ever visited a strip club. Back in my college days, I would hang out with friends who liked to go to strip clubs, so I would reluctantly go along. I never expected to have sex, although I knew a few guys who did (although not at the club itself, but arrangements for a later time). While in the club, the rule was "look, but don't touch," yet that didn't preclude the possibility of arranging something privately.

But I must confess that I never felt all that comfortable in strip clubs. I had nothing against the dancers or anyone who worked there, but oftentimes, I would sense the clientele were somewhat skeezy and borderline criminal. I even stopped hanging around with other guys who seemed to have some obsession with going to strip clubs or peep shows or anything with that kind of environment. They were mainly just a bunch of jerks and cokeheads anyway. Last time I entered a strip club was probably around '85 or '86.

Although later on, I did know a couple of women who worked as strippers, one of them was a fellow graduate student. She had worked as a waitress and also a tutor, but couldn't really make much money at that. Stripping was far more lucrative. But I could see that it took a toll on her; she was quite upset one evening while recounting a story of some particularly boorish and rude patron at the club. There was also an ex-boyfriend/stalker in the picture, who didn't approve of her working at a strip club and was giving her problems, too.

When you play with animals, you very likely will end up with their fleas.

 

[Polymath257]

What's fun about being deliberately titillated and then rejected, and paying for it? Seems to me such a person needs a psychologist, not a lap dance.

If it's not for you, then it's not for you.

It's not being rejected if there is no expectation of anything more than is given.

Don't go. Easy enough.

 

[PureX]

That's basically it. You're paying to get teased (or paying to get fooled, or pay to laugh at a comedy, or pay to trick your brain into a virtual reality game at an amusement park).

Not everyone like's to be teased by the same things if not at all like a tickle or whatever else, but I'm not sure how teasing in and of itself (and paying for it) is immoral regardless how much one likes or dislikes it.

Well, the original; discussion was about prostitution, not strip dancing. And this thread was just some silly questionnaire about expecting the dancers to have sex with the patrons, which of course does happen, even though they all proclaim loudly and profusely that it doesn't. At least not WHILE their dancing, anyway.

 

[PureX]

Don't go. Easy enough.

Ah, yes. The "every man is a nation unto himself" defense.

 

[Polymath257]

Well, the original; discussion was about prostitution, not strip dancing. And this thread was just some silly questionnaire about expecting the dancers to have sex with the patrons, which of course does happen, even though they all proclaim loudly and profusely that it doesn't. At least not WHILE their dancing, anyway.

I'm sure it happens, but I have never seen it. I've gone to many strip clubs and I have seen nothing even hinting at prostitution.