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If you go to a strip club, do you expect to have sex?

At the strip club...

  • I expect to tip dancers and not have sex. This is still fun for me, I do this knowingly.

    Votes: 16 88.9%
  • I expect to tip dancers and not have sex. This is disappointing for me, why do I do this?

    Votes: 1 5.6%
  • I expect to get laid at the strip club.

    Votes: 1 5.6%

  • Total voters
    18

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
It's been a very long time since I ever visited a strip club. Back in my college days, I would hang out with friends who liked to go to strip clubs, so I would reluctantly go along. I never expected to have sex, although I knew a few guys who did (although not at the club itself, but arrangements for a later time). While in the club, the rule was "look, but don't touch," yet that didn't preclude the possibility of arranging something privately.

But I must confess that I never felt all that comfortable in strip clubs. I had nothing against the dancers or anyone who worked there, but oftentimes, I would sense the clientele were somewhat skeezy and borderline criminal. I even stopped hanging around with other guys who seemed to have some obsession with going to strip clubs or peep shows or anything with that kind of environment. They were mainly just a bunch of jerks and cokeheads anyway. Last time I entered a strip club was probably around '85 or '86.

Although later on, I did know a couple of women who worked as strippers, one of them was a fellow graduate student. She had worked as a waitress and also a tutor, but couldn't really make much money at that. Stripping was far more lucrative. But I could see that it took a toll on her; she was quite upset one evening while recounting a story of some particularly boorish and rude patron at the club. There was also an ex-boyfriend/stalker in the picture, who didn't approve of her working at a strip club and was giving her problems, too.

Ooh, yes. I've seen the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend drama play out. I've seen some real pieces of work come in and get thrown out (with various, let's say, velocities). Some people are toxic and some people are jerks; it's going to take changing the entire culture to change that.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
It was just a night out to a gay bar. I was open to things to begin with, I think.

Being open to things seems pretty normal, though. Going to a strip club, at least in the USA where they are not brothels (ok, I don't know about Vegas), and expecting sex from the strippers seems like having the wrong expectations. But going out with an attitude of "hey whatever happens happens," that seems more normal: that sounds like being available to someone you meet at the bar, or whatever.

The point that was being made to PureX is that patrons aren't being exploited by being teased, they know they're going to get teased.
 

infrabenji

Active Member
Performing a little poll experiment to make a point to @PureX :

If you go to a strip club, are you expecting to have sex? Or are you aware that you're going to be tipping for drinks and tipping dancers to watch only?

Is watching dancers fun for you even if you don't get to have sex with them?
Yup exactly. When I lived in Portland, which I believe has the most strip clubs per capita, I’d just tip but I’m too busy socializing at the bar or wherever to pay full attention to the dancers. Many dancers were friends as well. A lot of talent in Portland. Great steaks at the acropolis 5 bucks and for a dollar you get a trip to the salad bar. Pretty awesome.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
Well, there's also the fact that the whole strip dance is designed to inspire a desire for sex in the viewer, and to insinuate that desire by the dancer. Though, in the end it's all just a big put-on intended to take people's money.

Why anyone would find all this "entertaining" is a bit difficult to comprehend.

Watching a horror movie is designed to inspire a feeling of fear in the viewer, which in the end, never has a monster actually devouring you. Some people, including myself, find this fun.

Do you think that what you find fun or not should dictate what other people can do or not?
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
What's fun about being deliberately titillated and then rejected, and paying for it? Seems to me such a person needs a psychologist, not a lap dance.

People that find different things from you entertaining are not psychologically damaged. They just like different things than you do. It's OK to like different things.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
Well, the original; discussion was about prostitution, not strip dancing. And this thread was just some silly questionnaire about expecting the dancers to have sex with the patrons, which of course does happen, even though they all proclaim loudly and profusely that it doesn't. At least not WHILE their dancing, anyway. :)

Do you always judge entire groups of people based on a subset of that group? Or is it just people you're OK with dehumanizing while proclaiming to care about them?
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
Yup exactly. When I lived in Portland, which I believe has the most strip clubs per capita, I’d just tip but I’m too busy socializing at the bar or wherever to pay full attention to the dancers. Many dancers were friends as well. A lot of talent in Portland. Great steaks at the acropolis 5 bucks and for a dollar you get a trip to the salad bar. Pretty awesome.

Dude we had the best wings on the planet. That or I was always just starving by the time I was eating haha ^.^
 

infrabenji

Active Member
Well, the original; discussion was about prostitution, not strip dancing. And this thread was just some silly questionnaire about expecting the dancers to have sex with the patrons, which of course does happen, even though they all proclaim loudly and profusely that it doesn't. At least not WHILE their dancing, anyway. :)
How do you know that? Are you assuming? Do you have data? Have you slept with a lot of dancers for money. Because I’ve known dozens of dancers, being from Portland, and that’s never been my experience. The way you talk about this stuff makes me think you have zero experience with any of it. For real.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
Let me do something of a recap here:

The purpose of this thread was to show that customers of strip clubs are not being exploited. For establishments that aren't advertised as brothels (and for which people have not heard word of mouth or anything that they are secret brothels, that sort of thing), people know exactly what they're walking into: they're going to enjoy watching and tipping dancers, enjoy some drinks, possibly enjoy some food depending on the venue, and probably enjoy talking to their friends just like any other bar.

Whether or not @PureX is willing to admit it (I suspect not at this point judging from the increasing irrationality of responses), I'd say the argument that customers are being "exploited" is defeated.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Let me do something of a recap here:

The purpose of this thread was to show that customers of strip clubs are not being exploited. For establishments that aren't advertised as brothels (and for which people have not heard word of mouth or anything that they are secret brothels, that sort of thing), people know exactly what they're walking into: they're going to enjoy watching and tipping dancers, enjoy some drinks, possibly enjoy some food depending on the venue, and probably enjoy talking to their friends just like any other bar.

Whether or not @PureX is willing to admit it (I suspect not at this point judging from the increasing irrationality of responses), I'd say the argument that customers are being "exploited" is defeated.

I never felt exploited as a customer.
Although I raised my eyebrows at the price of crappy beer once or twice if you want to count that.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Now that I'm willing to call exploitation!

Quick question...
I've read some stuff from time to time about US clubs having cheap/good food as a way to get people in.
An NBA player broke lockdown rules to go to an Atlanta club 'for the wings' and in my basketball geek circles that was considered at least possible.

(Side note : The Athletic did a nice little investigation piece on the whole incident, but it's behind a paywall)

Here, in my experience, people are paying overs for pretty average quality food and drink, since they're getting a floor show (kinda...you get what I mean).

So my question is...well...I dunno really. Am I understanding things right and do you have any thoughts on it I guess.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
Quick question...
I've read some stuff from time to time about US clubs having cheap/good food as a way to get people in.
An NBA player broke lockdown rules to go to an Atlanta club 'for the wings' and in my basketball geek circles that was considered at least possible.

(Side note : The Athletic did a nice little investigation piece on the whole incident, but it's behind a paywall)

Here, in my experience, people are paying overs for pretty average quality food and drink, since they're getting a floor show (kinda...you get what I mean).

So my question is...well...I dunno really. Am I understanding things right and do you have any thoughts on it I guess.

It's 100% possible to go "for the wings." This varies between venues though. Some places have barely serviceable trash food. Some places have quality barfood. I worked at two around the same time off and on, and I'd only eat the food at one of them. The drinks were always overpriced, there's no getting around admitting that.

But that's because there are people that go in and don't tip, which is heavily discouraged. You can't go sit at the stage and not tip. So some people would try to get around this by sitting at the bar and still watching the stage (without tipping).

Some of our tips have to go back to the house. So the house always wins: they charge more for drinks because of these twat waffles that would try to game the system. If they would just throw those people out they could have cheaper drinks and I think everyone would benefit more.
 

Polymath257

Think & Care
Staff member
Premium Member
It's 100% possible to go "for the wings." This varies between venues though. Some places have barely serviceable trash food. Some places have quality barfood. I worked at two around the same time off and on, and I'd only eat the food at one of them. The drinks were always overpriced, there's no getting around admitting that.

But that's because there are people that go in and don't tip, which is heavily discouraged. You can't go sit at the stage and not tip. So some people would try to get around this by sitting at the bar and still watching the stage (without tipping).

Some of our tips have to go back to the house. So the house always wins: they charge more for drinks because of these twat waffles that would try to game the system. If they would just throw those people out they could have cheaper drinks and I think everyone would benefit more.

I always found it interesting to ask the dancers about the rules they had for tips. Usually, they had to pay a certain amount per night to dance and hoped to make that up in tips and lap dances. So they would actually lose money on a slow night.

Knowing that never made me particularly happy with the ownership, even if I liked the dancers. I always tried to do my part in helping them make their entrance fee.
 

Meow Mix

Chatte Féministe
I always found it interesting to ask the dancers about the rules they had for tips. Usually, they had to pay a certain amount per night to dance and hoped to make that up in tips and lap dances. So they would actually lose money on a slow night.

Knowing that never made me particularly happy with the ownership, even if I liked the dancers. I always tried to do my part in helping them make their entrance fee.

Yes. It’s almost always “independent contracts” except for maybe the highest level gentleman’s clubs where the dancers are considered assets and employees.

Slow nights and day shifts could cost.
 

We Never Know

No Slack
Performing a little poll experiment to make a point to @PureX :

If you go to a strip club, are you expecting to have sex? Or are you aware that you're going to be tipping for drinks and tipping dancers to watch only?

Is watching dancers fun for you even if you don't get to have sex with them?

I haven't been to one in over 25 years. I wouldn't have a clue what they are like today.
 
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