Desire of Men, of Woman

[Madhuri]

I just found a quote online that struck me as holding truth, and that I find this to be very, very interesting.

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

I can only speak for myself, but I find that both in courtship and in sexual intercourse, this desire for the man's desire (of me) is my deepest motivation.

Do any other women here find this relatable? Do you also find it interesting that a woman is so motivated by a man's desire or wanting of her?

 

[Onkara]

I didn't know that but it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing.

 

[LuisDantas]

Yes, interesting. I kinda hope it is wrong. Thanks for sharing, Madhuri.

 

[Pegg]

I just found a quote online that struck me as holding truth, and that I find this to be very, very interesting.

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

I can only speak for myself, but I find that both in courtship and in sexual intercourse, this desire for the man's desire (of me) is my deepest motivation.

Do any other women here find this relatable? Do you also find it interesting that a woman is so motivated by a man's desire or wanting of her?

hi Madhuri, yes i think this is very true. Women crave for a mans attention and affection. But men are more inclined to desire the women physically rather then the woman herself as a person/companion/partner if you know what i mean.

I believe this is why many men are prone to seek out many partners, they can have the most beautiful women in the world as a partner, but they will still seek out more because it is the desire for the physical which can take over in man and drive him.

Of course not all men will be driven to such extreme though, but it seems to be their weakness.

 

[Engyo]

A man sees a woman as a finished product and desires that she never change.

A woman sees a man as raw material and desires to change him.

Neither will have their desire fulfilled.

 

[Madhuri]

I have found that being admired/desired by men fulfils a great part of my sexual longing, which generally means that I don't feel the need to have sex. It's a strange and funny thing. I often observe that while men wish to sleep with many women, a woman will wish to be the most admired (of women) by men. Perhaps it comes down to the need to feel secure? The feeling of being loved often is accompanied by a feeling of security.

 

[Onkara]

Of course not all men will be driven to such extreme though, but it seems to be their weakness.

True, Pegg.
In addition, something I have observed is that there can be the attraction to know a women intimately, but not necessarily only to sleep with her. There is desire at a level of understanding or curiosity also.

Sexual desire is a weakness when it goes against our better judgement or impacts an already existing relationship. As to can be the need for desirability from more men beyond her partner. Most of us will recognise a flirtatious women.

 

[Onkara]

Perhaps it comes down to the need to feel secure? The feeling of being loved often is accompanied by a feeling of security.

I have the impression women are much more maternal in their outlook for security and family? Am I mistaken?

 

[atanu]

I just found a quote online that struck me as holding truth, and that I find this to be very, very interesting.

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

I can only speak for myself, but I find that both in courtship and in sexual intercourse, this desire for the man's desire (of me) is my deepest motivation.

Do any other women here find this relatable? Do you also find it interesting that a woman is so motivated by a man's desire or wanting of her?

Ya. Isn't that why men are simple tools of women? Just joking (in case I receive rotten tomatoes). IMO, it is true nonetheless.

...

 

[.lava]

hmm. i think in general women do want to be wanted. but there are women who just want, specially boyish ones -IMO-

.

 

[Songbird]

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

This quote, like any, is a distillation that does complex reality a dis-service. But it gets us thinking. Sexuality of course is varied, a scientifically undetermined mix of nature, nuture, culture, and era. I don't know about other cultures, but where I live the ideas that only men pursue multiple partners or want a woman only physically are fading ideas. Studies reflect increasingly similar sexual behavior men and women currently have in numbers of extra-marital affairs, who is expected to initiate dating and sex, and other things formerly clearly defined by gender. The causes are many; one being that more women are in the workforce and are increasingly financially secure. There's a lot more to this discussion, but off to breakfast I go.

 

[blackout]

stereotype.

 

[Engyo]

stereotype.

True - but stereotypes do not arise from nothing. They are dangerously inaccurate when applied to any single individual, but in the aggregate they can often be uncomfortably accurate.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

I would say this is far from the truth.
Unless a woman is enjoying a sexual relationship as least as much as a man. It is little fun for the man. Sex as a one way pleasure is less than half the joy for either.

 

[blackout]

I would say this is far from the truth.
Unless a woman is enjoying a sexual relationship as least as much as a man. It is little fun for the man. Sex as a one way pleasure is less than half the joy for either.

Really. How would that be for a man,
to feel that his manhood is not being fully enjoyed by his woman?

I'm guessing it would be pretty lame.
*does not picture years of dynamic sexual intimacy*

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I find that most people, male and female, are varying mixtures of both. It doesn't match my experience to stereotype either of these motivations by gender, other than in a very shallow, surface sense.

 

[Caladan]

I just found a quote online that struck me as holding truth, and that I find this to be very, very interesting.

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

I can only speak for myself, but I find that both in courtship and in sexual intercourse, this desire for the man's desire (of me) is my deepest motivation.

Do any other women here find this relatable? Do you also find it interesting that a woman is so motivated by a man's desire or wanting of her?

Well it certainly explains some of the things which bother men. such as why it takes us 7 minutes to get ready, while you have to wait for an hour and a half for the woman to get ready. by the time she's ready, you feel as if you have covered all current events in North America, Western Europe and the Middle east. had at least 2 cups of coffee, and listened to an entire Leonard Cohen album. and the most romantic thing you can think of saying to your girl after she's spent all this time getting ready, is 'are you sure you are going to be comfortable in these shoes'?

hi Madhuri, yes i think this is very true. Women crave for a mans attention and affection. But men are more inclined to desire the women physically rather then the woman herself as a person/companion/partner if you know what i mean.

That's pretty stereotypical. can't speak for all men out there, but there are plenty of men who are interested in a woman's brain as much as her bust. many men crave an interesting woman they can actually talk to about.. interesting things. a sense of humour.. important too.
also, the whole concept that men physically crave women more than the other way around is completely not true. women can crave sex, take action to get sex, and get 'dirty' in their sex life just as much as men.

I believe this is why many men are prone to seek out many partners, they can have the most beautiful women in the world as a partner, but they will still seek out more because it is the desire for the physical which can take over in man and drive him.

Maimonides, the famous Jewish philosopher and scholar has said: 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.'

Terry Pratchett paraphrased it to: 'Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.'

When a man has found a partner for a life time, there is no good reason for him to act on juvenile bachelor exploits.

Of course not all men will be driven to such extreme though, but it seems to be their weakness.

I admit, that I have a 'weakness' for attractive women. I just never played on it outside the 'game rules'.even if a man is not single, it can brighten up a grey day just to have an attractive woman sitting next to you, or just have a nice casual conversation with one. I consider it in the realm of normality.

 

[Songbird]

also, the whole concept that men physically crave women more than the other way around is completely not true. women can crave sex, take action to get sex, and get 'dirty' in their sex life just as much as men.

I haven't checked the profiles of posters in this thread, but I suspect cultural differences may account for perspective differences. I certainly see women craving sex as much as men, and I see a wide variety of desires within relationships. Not that we talk about that stuff....I mean...I've read it....:run:

 

[Engyo]

Maimonides, the famous Jewish philosopher and scholar has said: 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.'

Terry Pratchett paraphrased it to: 'Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.'

The way I learned it, it goes like this:

Give a man a fish, and he will eat a meal. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer.

 

[Alex_G]

I just found a quote online that struck me as holding truth, and that I find this to be very, very interesting.

"The desire of a man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man" - Germaine De Stael

I can only speak for myself, but I find that both in courtship and in sexual intercourse, this desire for the man's desire (of me) is my deepest motivation.

Do any other women here find this relatable? Do you also find it interesting that a woman is so motivated by a man's desire or wanting of her?

Interesting point.
I couldnt really back up a position that agreed totally. I, being a man, i think , experience both of those things, and i would advocate that so do women. I think the chronology is of importance, men, well me at least, start off with desire, in a pure aesthetic, subconscious sort of thing, then move onto a frame of mind where 'desire for desire' would be more apparent.