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Born into a very religious Christian home. "Accepted" Jesus at the age of 7 while home, alone. Was hardcore Christian for a long time. Went to a missionary (Bible) school for a year. Things happened later in life, so 15 years ago, I turned atheist. Became a hardcore atheist instead. Last couple of years I realized things aren't as simple as we think they are, and the words we use only reflect our own inner ideas and perceptions. We make the words fit the use, so language or meaning is losing is force on what we are. Instead of identify myself as "not having something" (atheist), I decided I need to start identify myself with what I am and what I think instead. It's not easy. Few people understand the challenge.
Double-aspect theory, also called dual-aspect theory, type of mind-body monism. According to double-aspect theory, the mental and the material are different aspects or attributes of a unitary reality, which itself is neither mental nor material. The view is derived from the metaphysics of Benedict de Spinoza, who held that mind and matter are merely two of an infinite number of “modes” of a single existing substance, which he identified with God. http://www.britannica.com/topic/double-aspect-theory