Backbiting and religious hypocrisy

[David1967]

Also, there is always another side

Very true. It would be unfair to come to a conclusion regarding anything like this without knowing the whole of the situation. The co-worker may indeed be a mean person, or there could be an unaddressed misunderstanding, or something else.

 

[PureX]

Your friend sounds like a very honest person, to follow through on that advice, kudos to him.

He was a newly recovering drug addict, and I think the lying became part of his addict lifestyle. So much so that it became sort of automatic. He's been clean and sober for many years, now, and I assume the lying hasn't been an issue for him anymore, either.

I often think about how hard that must have been, to do, though. And therefor how difficult it is for people in general to face their own bad habits, like 'back-biting', and gossiping, and scape-goating and so on. Still, I think we owe it to ourselves and everyone else to own up to these kinds of things, and to do what it takes to extinguish them. And I thought that this was supposed to be one of the main functions of religious practice. But is it?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

That’s why I love you sooda

I love soda too. Sierra Mist, Dr. Pepper...

I'm sorry about the woman who gossiped though.

 

[sealchan]

I was going to begin to ask the Christian members here why do Christians at least the ones here in the United States want to judge others on their religious faith (or their irreligious beliefs) yet many continuously do the one thing that is against their faith:backbiting. Although I believe I know the answer, the problem always continues to perplex me. I guess this thought stems from a lady I work with who because I'm not the very happy conversationalist and because I am at times stern and very much to the point (you have to be considering that I don't really have much time to gossip at work like others), she gossips about me "looking and acting mean." Of course others who truly know me defend me against her, but the idea of this is funny considering when I need to get patient information from her she is always listening to gospel music and discussing topics about "tha lawd" yet she continues to do the very thing that is against her religious faith which is talking negatively behind someone's back. Now the part I gave you guys when she referred to me as mean was PG-13 version, but I wonder if backbiting is something that is against one's faith why continue to do it yet exclaim a devotion to God while judging others yet continuously break your own religious rules?

When I challenge this to other Christians it seems that being human is the culprit, but I don't understand how something that is easily fixable like not opening your mouth negatively against another person is somehow human nature. I just find it hypocritical.

Thoughts?

I suspect that those who think about rules and want to judge others about rules the most are those who feel the most that their personal and experienced reality is largely immoral. They may have a lot of shame that they have to choke down with proselytization and judgment. I will pray for her.

 

[stvdv]

Well you just proved the point about it being human nature. You are not a Christian and yet here you are talking about her behind her back. Albeit you've done it with more civilized language.

As far as someone breaking rules. That's human nature as well. You are not Christian and you break rules as well. Nobody's perfect.

There is a difference between "judging/criticizing someone" and "making an observation"
The woman (not named) is known to be judging others (backbiting) while the OP just makes this observation and asking the question "how does she reconcile this with the teachings of Jesus".

The way Enoch plays the ball back to the OP is like the one in the example below "slapping someone in the face"
Example 1 to clarify: Someone slaps you in the face and you tell the person "do not do that". And now the one giving the slap in the face starts crying and answers "ah, now you hurt me by saying that I should not slap you in the face".
Obviously this is quite foolish

Example 2 if 1 is not obvious: Father has sex with his daughter. Daughter gets angry and shouts loud. Now the father starts crying saying "now you hurt my feelings, I just love you and expressed my love to you"
Obviously this is quite foolish also.

Criteria: The one crossing borders (hurting others) should not start crying when someone points out to him that what he does is wrong.
My observation: so far most of the Christians I met give the same reply as Enoch gave, and when I explain they refuse to understand

 

[Enoch07]

Talking about someone is different than talking bad about someone. You don’t know her even if you were at my hospital. I never mentioned her name nor what her title is. I didn’t bad mouth her. This isn’t human nature this is me using an example but thanks for playing “who can try and act smart.”

You are though. You are putting her in a bad light without her knowledge. That is talking behind someone's back.

And you just bad mouthed me by being condescending and saying "thanks for playing who can try and act smart". You are just reinforcing the fact its human nature, and not Christianity.

Good job!

 

[Enoch07]

There is a difference between "judging/criticizing someone" and "making an observation"

That's just apologetics.

Not to mention his condescending attitude in his reply to me. Here:

but thanks for playing “who can try and act smart.”

Which just further proves my point.

Unless you'd like to use your apologetics to justify his flawed human nature here as well.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

It is obvious:

Only Christians have human failings, and are all hypocrites, because they cannot live up to the standards they raise.

It would be better to lower the standards, so that everyone could meet them, and not present such lofty expectations.

I think that is a (sarcastically put) fair comment.

 

[stvdv]

That's just apologetics.

I don't see that as "apologetics", especially considering the 2 examples I gave with it. More clear than this I can't make it.
If someone hits me and I tell him he should stop. Then clearly that person misbehaves, not me.
No one has the right to belittle (or hurt) another person. He can do it, but it's not his "right" (I talk about a human, not about an animal)
And it's my right and duty to stop him "hurting me"

If you disagree with that then all I can say is "let's agree to disagree on this one"

Which just further proves my point.
Unless you'd like to use your apologetics to justify his flawed human nature here as well.

I do not use apologetics to justify the phrase you mentioned
I just explained the difference between "the attacker" and the "one defending himself"

 

[Enoch07]

I don't see that as "apologetics", especially considering the 2 examples I gave with it.

Maybe you bias is blinding you then. Because you completely avoided his attack on me.

If you disagree with that then all I can say is "let's agree to disagree on this one"

No, you are just wrong.

 

[stvdv]

Unless you'd like to use your apologetics to justify his flawed human nature here as well.

I do not use apologetics to justify the phrase you mentioned
I just explained the difference between "the attacker" and the "one defending himself"

Maybe you bias is blinding you then. Because you completely avoided his attack on me.

I did not completely avoid "his attack on you"
You said "unless you'd like to use your apologetics to justify his flawed human nature here as well"
to which I replied "I do not use apologetics to justify the phrase you mentioned"

 

[Enoch07]

I did not completely avoid "his attack on you"

Sure you did. Then you went straight into apologetics to justify his statements about the nurse.

 

[loverofhumanity]

I was going to begin to ask the Christian members here why do Christians at least the ones here in the United States want to judge others on their religious faith (or their irreligious beliefs) yet many continuously do the one thing that is against their faith:backbiting. Although I believe I know the answer, the problem always continues to perplex me. I guess this thought stems from a lady I work with who because I'm not the very happy conversationalist and because I am at times stern and very much to the point (you have to be considering that I don't really have much time to gossip at work like others), she gossips about me "looking and acting mean." Of course others who truly know me defend me against her, but the idea of this is funny considering when I need to get patient information from her she is always listening to gospel music and discussing topics about "tha lawd" yet she continues to do the very thing that is against her religious faith which is talking negatively behind someone's back. Now the part I gave you guys when she referred to me as mean was PG-13 version, but I wonder if backbiting is something that is against one's faith why continue to do it yet exclaim a devotion to God while judging others yet continuously break your own religious rules?

When I challenge this to other Christians it seems that being human is the culprit, but I don't understand how something that is easily fixable like not opening your mouth negatively against another person is somehow human nature. I just find it hypocritical.

Thoughts?

Who are you addressing here? A true Christian does not judge nor backbite. There are two kinds of Christians, those who live the life and those in name only.

The Bible clearly states not to judge lest ye be judged so if people who claim to be Christians repeatedly ignore their own Bible then they are not true Christians but Christians in name only.

How can we call Christian anyone who ignores the laws of their own religion?

So my answer as a former Christian is that the sincere and devoted believer is good and pure. It is those who just verbally believe and have no real sincere attachment to their religion that act contrary to what Jesus taught.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

That has nothing to do with science. Every atheist must, logically, see believers as delusional, and probably that is reciprocated. But all believers will also, necessarily, see as delusional any believer in the competition.

However, that does not entail that there are not coherent believers. It just entails that I would not expect them to be. So, I will never be disappointed, only surprised.

Hoping, of course, than in an attempt to be coherent they do not start to stone rebellious children, people working on Saturdays, or re-establish slavery. That would be suboptimal.

By the way, I am a girl.

Ciao

- viole

"The man of science" line was for me sorry lol

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Sure you did. Then you went straight into apologetics to justify his statements about the nurse.

Where did I say she was a nurse?

 

[Epic Beard Man]

You are though. You are putting her in a bad light without her knowledge.

Right. so I'm supposed to tell a woman who doesn't like me because I do not converse with her at work and who has used expletives behind my back "hey can I go to religiousforums.com and use you as an example about people who backbite?"

And you just bad mouthed me by being condescending and saying "thanks for playing who can try and act smart". You are just reinforcing the fact its human nature, and not Christianity.

No. you thought you was smart by thinking me using her as a reference is me talking about her in a negative way. I clearly said nothing negative. I said she uses curse words to describe me all because I don't chit chat at work I just gave you the PG-13 version. How is that talking about someone? So the people that liked your original comment is just as smart as you which is why I said thanks for playing because of your attempt in being clever.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

There is a difference between "judging/criticizing someone" and "making an observation"
The woman (not named) is known to be judging others (backbiting) while the OP just makes this observation and asking the question "how does she reconcile this with the teachings of Jesus".

The way Enoch plays the ball back to the OP is like the one in the example below "slapping someone in the face"
Example 1 to clarify: Someone slaps you in the face and you tell the person "do not do that". And now the one giving the slap in the face starts crying and answers "ah, now you hurt me by saying that I should not slap you in the face".
Obviously this is quite foolish

Example 2 if 1 is not obvious: Father has sex with his daughter. Daughter gets angry and shouts loud. Now the father starts crying saying "now you hurt my feelings, I just love you and expressed my love to you"
Obviously this is quite foolish also.

Criteria: The one crossing borders (hurting others) should not start crying when someone points out to him that what he does is wrong.
My observation: so far most of the Christians I met give the same reply as Enoch gave, and when I explain they refuse to understand

This... I'm glad you got it.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Eh my personal opinion is that regardless of whether or not it is correct to talk about a real life person on the forum about how they are talking about you and you don't care for it, it's done and over with. Won't destroy her reputation since full names weren't used.

 

[Enoch07]

Where did I say she was a nurse?

You didn't specifically. But you did say.

when I need to get patient information from her

So I can deduce she is a nurse/doctor/or possibly an administrative healthcare worker based on your comment.

Right. so I'm supposed to tell a woman who doesn't like me because I do not converse with her at work and who has used expletives behind my back "hey can I go to religiousforums.com and use you as an example about people who backbite?"

Well you've said nothing of confronting her to her face about her negativity so yeah.

No. you thought you was smart by thinking me using her as a reference is me talking about her in a negative way. I

Huh? That's the baseline for establishing ntelligence now? Meh whatevs

I clearly said nothing negative.

Sure you did when you insulted my intelligence for disagreeing with you. All I did was show that you are just as flawed as the lady you originally spoke of. You then proved my point by attacking me unprovoked.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Who are you addressing here?

Technically all the so-called Christians that tout the judgment role but love to talk about people who cannot defend themselves. This is fake plain and simple and Christians I've seen do this everyday but want to sit in judgment on other people.

A true Christian does not judge nor backbite.

As far I'm concerned there is no true Christian. There are Christians who have hung and killed innocent people, rape children, curse people. A safer bet are the people saying they just believe in a spiritual faith. Being a complete follower of that faith is a different story. I've spent my whole life watching Christians judge other people but go to church on Sunday to praise baby Jesus.

The Bible clearly states not to judge lest ye be judged so if people who claim to be Christians repeatedly ignore their own Bible then they are not true Christians but Christians in name only.

I'm willing to bet that is 70% of Christians on this planet. I just wish Christians wouldn't sit on judgment on others especially people of other faiths and yet their own backyard contains dirt. I've met one closes to being a true Christian and its one guy out of 37 years of my existence!

So my answer as a former Christian is that the sincere and devoted believer is good and pure.

No. The sincere believer is one that understands that in their personality there is something that potentially transgresses the standard rules of their faith, acknowledge it, owns it and understands they're going to be held accountable for it and tries to change it. Using your species to justify why you transgress religious rules is not enough. If it doesn't work for the police it definitely wont work for God the Creator.

Take video for example watch at 1:22: