Your Child's Religion

[Oneatatime]

Ultimately, they will decide if they wish to be part of my beliefs as they get older or not. But for now, I raise them with my philosophical views. Anyone has a problem, tough.

Naturally, I'd like them to avoid some religions and have a preference towards others.


Answer them depending on the question with my own philosophical bias.

It is entirely possible to be aware of and mitigate any bias you may hold if you really want to. Just because your beliefs and outlook on life is biased in favour on those you hold doesn't mean that you must attempt to imprint these on your child.

Really its a bit feeble to say that you'll raise your child as a member of your religion and then give it the choice later on as an adult. Its like throwing your child into a lake and them giving them option of choosing to swim or not. Its no real choice at all because the decision has been made for them before they are intellectually equiped to decide for themselves. The few fortunate children might be able to make it to the waters edge before they drown but most have little choice but to swim.

You can raise a child without pushing your religion onto it. Granted this is difficult in religions which heavily incorporate childhood indoctrination into their beliefs and practices. That said if you really care about your child choosing their own path in life then you'll do whats necessary to ensure they can.

My mother wanted me to become a Christian but she didn't try to force me when I was at an age when such efforts might have set me upon the path to adopting Christianity.

 

[Breathe]

Really its a bit feeble to say that you'll raise your child as a member of your religion and then give it the choice later on as an adult.

As I said: If someone don't like it, tough. I don't care. I'll bring my kids up how I want, and religion is part of how I am. If they wish to change religion later on, that's fine by me. Claiming it's like throwing a child in a lake is absolute nonsense. If you hold such ideas, I don't think our discussion should continue any further.

 

[Onkara]

Looking back I think it would have been good to have had a religion I was content with as a child. I was aware of it but rejected it strongly thinking it meant a "A bearded punishing God in the sky", which makes me think that Children are not so vulnerable as adults think. Children know what they want and don't want. Children who have more options and choices are perhaps the most lucky, as they can choose the religion they feel fits them. They can still have a religion and be a part of a religious community and have choice.

I am unlikely to raise my children as religious, but I am going to explain the world as I understand it to them.

I think your observation is right, those who are already religious want to share their religion with their children, those who aren't don't see a benefit.

Do you believe your child should chose their own religion? What will you tell them when they ask philosophical questions? If you want them to be part of a certain religion or lack of belief, which religion, and any specific secular group? (Humanism, Plain Atheism, Nontheism, etc.)

So far, from other sites, my results were that many religious people want their child to be a part of their religion, while the non-religious do not care.

 

[Proper-Gander]

If my partner and myself ever have children, we'll raise them in the hope that they'll become intelligent, logical individuals. We'll encourage them to approach things scientifically rather than spiritually. However, if they decided to join a religion at any point I would not be upset. I very strongly believe that parents should not have an idea of what their child should be like - a person is who they decide to be, and as a parent you should love your child because they are yours, not because they think, do, or say things that you agree with.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

If my partner and myself ever have children, we'll raise them in the hope that they'll become intelligent, logical individuals. We'll encourage them to approach things scientifically rather than spiritually. However, if they decided to join a religion at any point I would not be upset. I very strongly believe that parents should not have an idea of what their child should be like - a person is who they decide to be, and as a parent you should love your child because they are yours, not because they think, do, or say things that you agree with.

I agree!

 

[Tarheeler]

I will certainly impart my values, of which religious values are a part, to any children I might have.

People influence their children no matter what choices they make, so I'll influence mine, should I be blessed to have them, in the manner which most fits with their best interests.

I think that is a good point to make.

We will all influence our kids just by the act of raising them. If we are religious, then they will learn through observing us and being raised by us. If we are not religious, they will learn that as well.

My kids see me pray, study, and attend services. When I teach them, by beliefs help guide my decisions and my actions. And there is no way to separate that from who we are or the parents we become.

 

[blackout]

My 'religion' IS more or less "Individualism"... sooooo....

 

[Paraprakrti]

I'm not saying the parents shouldn't be of a particular religious or political persuasion - of course they will be. What I'm saying is that these beliefs shouldn't be imposed on the child. Luckily, most religions do have values which are universal, which should be imparted to the child.

However, what I should have referred to in my previous post are the values that encourage bigotry, intolerance and division which, unfortunately, are a feature of many religions. For example, bringing up a child to view homosexuality as wrong simply because it is in a religious book the parents read is wrong, IMO.

Bringing up a child within certain religious traditions can also have a detrimental effect on their education - think of a child brought up in a creationist household. Will they accept a biological explanation regarding the development of life or will they believe what their parents or church have told them? From experience, it's definitely the latter where I live. An example: There are two medical doctors where I live and both are proponents of ID. Over the years, I have taught biology to all seven of their children. When the topic of evolution arises, can you guess what stance they take? Is it through their own thinking and evaluation that all seven chidren just happen to argue against evolution from an ID standpoint or did they all come to that stance because of what their parents taught them? The answer, of course, is the latter because they told me so. This is just one example I can cite of parental religious beliefs interfering with the education of their children.

Although I tend to agree with you, I find it unrealistic to expect bigoted parents not to teach bigotry to their children, whether or not that bigotry comes in the guise of religion.

Also, I don't see how anyone can expect theistic parents to not teach intelligent design to their children. It seems that the problem you have is when it is being taught to the exclusion of evolution. But even in that scenario, I don't see it as a huge travesty. At the very least, there doesn't appear to be anything stopping these children from becoming medical doctors. If it were me in that situation, I'd have a meeting with the parents and discuss how, even if they disagree with evolution, they should think of it being taught as an alternative theory. I'm sure you realize that you aren't going to convince them that these two opposing viewpoints aren't on even ground, scientifically. So, just placate them for the time. Hell, there are probably parents who teach their kids that we never landed on the moon. If the kids grow up and are interested in researching it more later in life, great. If not, so what? Be an 80-year-old person who rejects the moon landing. What difference does it make?

 

[Straw Dog]

Do you believe your child should chose their own religion? What will you tell them when they ask philosophical questions? If you want them to be part of a certain religion or lack of belief, which religion, and any specific secular group? (Humanism, Plain Atheism, Nontheism, etc.)

So far, from other sites, my results were that many religious people want their child to be a part of their religion, while the non-religious do not care.

I'm all for children making choices about their beliefs whenever they get older, but they don't start out with adequate information or critical thinking skills to make those decisions as children. When they do make those decisions it'll be based on how they've been nurtured into society. Personally, I'll probably just educate them about our place within the ecosystem and foster a sense of naturalistic spirituality as they grow up. If they choose to abandon it or incorporate it into a traditional or new age religion then so be it. I already have books on the world's religions so I could also educate them about the diversity and facts about religion without outright claiming them all to be false.

 

[ChristineES]

As I said: If someone don't like it, tough. I don't care. I'll bring my kids up how I want, and religion is part of how I am. If they wish to change religion later on, that's fine by me. Claiming it's like throwing a child in a lake is absolute nonsense. If you hold such ideas, I don't think our discussion should continue any further.

I totally agree. FRUBALS! Each parent teaches his or her child his or her values and that includes any faith. When the child is older, he or she will make his or her own decision if he or she wants to keep following that faith or choose another path.
I was raised as an agnostic, yet I am a Christian now- and I am definitely not the only example of such things.

 

[Straw Dog]

My 'religion' IS more or less "Individualism"... sooooo....

I think individualism can go too far and become destructive in society if not mitigated by some sense of social cohesion and responsibility. Would you really want your children to grow up and believe the exact opposite things that you do? Do you want them to be sucked into a fanatical cult or bigoted religious denomination because its how they've chosen to express their individuality? Personally, I think it's okay to educate them about the sciences, natural facts, and the facts on religions so then at least their choices will be based on an informed view of the world rather than chaotic subjective individualism. But hey, they're your hypothetical children, not mind .

 

[BruceDLimber]

We Baha'is have an obligation to see to it that our children are instructed about the goodness and legitimacy of ALL the great religions! (Of course, Baha'i schools assist in this.)

Then, when the child reaches the Age of Maturity (15) he or she is free to choose to become a Baha'i, something else, or nothing at all!

And parents (as well as others) MAY NOT interfere in this process!

Works great for us!

Bruce

 

[Noaidi]

What difference does it make?

Paraprakrti

A good reply. Thank you. I agree with your reasoning, but just to pick up on the above part I quoted:
The important thing is when these children answer exam questions on evolution and bring their / their parents' religion into their answers. That has cost them.

 

[Paraprakrti]

Paraprakrti

A good reply. Thank you. I agree with your reasoning, but just to pick up on the above part I quoted:
The important thing is when these children answer exam questions on evolution and bring their / their parents' religion into their answers. That has cost them.

Totally understandable. I think that even if the parents disagree, they should understand how to play the game, so to speak.

 

[Anonymouse]

My wife and I expect to have 4 children and we will raise them in religion. One child will be versed in the knowledge of Judaism, one in Islam, one will be baptized in the religion of Jehovah Witness' and the last one will be baptized Mormon. My wife and I expect to lend a great deal of support to each child's religion but we suspect at that time there won't be much on T.V. to entertain us.

 

[Katzpur]

My wife and I expect to have 4 children and we will raise them in religion. One child will be versed in the knowledge of Judaism, one in Islam, one will be baptized in the religion of Jehovah Witness' and the last one will be baptized Mormon. My wife and I expect to lend a great deal of support to each child's religion but we suspect at that time there won't be much on T.V. to entertain us.

Why those particular choices?

 

[Revoltingest]

Why those particular choices?

I know what you're thinking.....what, no Revoltifarianism?

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Tarheeler,
You know that as part of conversion, you pledge to raise your children Jewish, right? It is antithetical to Judaism(and many other religions) to not raise a child with the values of the religion followed by the parents. It is not only going against the faith you profess, it doesn't make sense to say, "I believe this is right," and in the next breath, "you make your own choice."

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Tarheeler,
You know that as part of conversion, you pledge to raise your children Jewish, right? It is antithetical to Judaism(and many other religions) to not raise a child with the values of the religion followed by the parents. It is not only going against the faith you profess, it doesn't make sense to say, "I believe this is right," and in the next breath, "you make your own choice."

More like "I believe this is right," next breath "But I only believe this is right."

 

[HiddenDjinn]

More like "I believe this is right," next breath "But I only believe this is right."

In other words, you're telling your child you're unconvinced of what you're saying, therefore should be ignored in this instance.