Why I Could Never Be An Atheist

[Audie]

If I knew what that means, mayhaps they'd invite me, eh?

Theif has a touch of enigmatosis, so you
may want to avoid his mertings for the nonce.

 

[Audie]

and if you were to dance like a Scotsman in a skirt....
you might get arrested

and once behind bars......still wearing the skirt.....

you might be called a feminist

Eeewww, now too explicit.

 

[Altfish]

The other atheists won't invite me to their parties!

What can't you be & why?

I was expecting you at the pub in about 2-hours time, Costello's in Altrincham - did you not get the invite?
We'll be eating babies, mutilating puppies and setting fire to kittens - as usual.

Oh, and mines a bitter.

 

[Wu Wei]

The other atheists won't invite me to their parties!

What can't you be & why?

Well...... I'm a bear....and they are afraid of bears...AND they never have anything good in their pick-a-nick baskets

 

[Thief]

I could never be an atheist

I would end up nailed to a cross for heresy

or would that be hypocrisy?

or inciting a riot?

 

[Audie]

Since when was a lust for gutter water unnatural?

Read for content, ya crypto atheist swab!

It is the lust, not the water that is unnatural, the,
yes, grim, tawdry, Satan inspired LUST for the
filth of gutter water that is unnatural.

Or no, wait, that is the natural man who doth so debase
himself, with gutter-water. So glad I am not a man,
as there is nothing so pathetic as a man in the deoths
of gutter-binge.

Gutter water is like, organic.

I musta misread what you said.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Atheist is just another made up word that the atheists made up.

 

[Daemon Sophic]

I could never be a Scot.
Too much drinking and drooling, and intentionally walking over NYC subway air vents.

*edit*. Plus, most days I like to wear briefs.

 

[Audie]

Atheist is just another made up word that the atheists made up.

And what of "theist"?

 

[Revoltingest]

Theif has a touch of enigmatosis, so you
may want to avoid his mertings for the nonce.

He wears a merkin?
Ew.

 

[Brickjectivity]

And what of "theist"?

I also can't stand the treachery of treacherous people. A treacherous person is treacherous by definition. Its simple syntax.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

I will belong to no organization which would have me as a member; if invited, I shall decline it, if inducted I shall repudiate it...

 

[dybmh]

Question: Why can't I be an Atheist?

Answer: because I'm too stoopid

 

[BSM1]

I can never be an atheist because I have found that when smashing a thumb with a framing hammer it's more convenient to have a Deity to call on to curse said hammer rather waste time rationalizing the rather painful situation.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I keep getting invited even though I keep trying to explain the differences and nuances and all that stuff as to why I'm not. A good number of theists also try to invite me to theirs.
But I prefer it being quiet and having solitude and generally avoiding crowds.

 

[BSM1]

Question: Why can't I be an Atheist?

Answer: because I'm too stoopid

This is no reason not to apply for gig. I have known atheists who are at least a little stoopid...

 

[Polymath257]

Same here.
Not after that RF staff mixer involving you, the shaved weasel, the lampshade & the Mazola.
Took me hours to clean up after that!

I'm still finding weasel hair in unmentionable places!

 

[sealchan]

The other atheists won't invite me to their parties!

What can't you be & why?

Ewww! A party?! Will there be other people there? Couldn't we just meet in an internet forum instead?

 

[Jedster]

I would never go to a party where I was the type of person invited.

I just knew you are really Groucho Marx.

 

[BSM1]

Ewww! A party?! Will there be other people there? Couldn't we just meet in an internet forum instead?

Hahaha...internet forum...there's no such thing. It's like saying, "Shake hands with my imaginary friend....uhh...that's not his hand...").