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Why and how do you avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities?

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by Jim, Dec 8, 2019.

  1. Jim

    Jim Nets of Wonder

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    NOTE: I edited the thread title and this post to say “disparage people’s character and capacities” instead of “depreciate people.”

    If you try to strictly avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.
     
    #1 Jim, Dec 8, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2019
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  2. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein ᛗᛁᛞᚾᛁᚷᚺᛏ᛫ᛋᚢᚾ
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    I read that as "decapitating people" at first. I was going to think of an honest answer, too. Lol. Don't mind me, carry on.
     
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  3. LuisDantas

    LuisDantas Aura of atheification
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    I used to make more of an effort, but the years taught me that sometimes it is not always constructive to deny people what they demand.

    Most of the time, though, I do in fact try to avoid depreciating people, mainly because I do not like to be depreciated myself and I dearly like to try to convince people that they should not.
     
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  4. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    That would mean I'd have a lot less to laugh about, including myself.
     
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  5. Heyo

    Heyo Active Member

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    Some actions need to be depreciated.
    I try to fucus on that and not make it personal.
    (I.e. "that was a bad thing to do" is OK while "You're a bad person" is not.)
     
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  6. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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    It can't be done you son of a . . . oh wait, I might be wrong. Just treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.
     
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  7. exchemist

    exchemist Well-Known Member

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    Don't you mean "deprecating"?

    Definition of DEPRECATE

    Or is this another of those transatlantic differences?

    Not that I mean this in any deprecating way.........;)
     
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  8. Terry Sampson

    Terry Sampson ζει

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    That reminded me of the old "joke": What did the sadist say when the masochist begged "Hurt me, hurt me"?

    Answer: "No."
     
  9. Jim

    Jim Nets of Wonder

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    Maybe. I’ll look into it.

    Webster online dictionary:
    E2363367-3CD8-4CE9-8720-D28EAFD7723A.png

    2946E534-0DE8-427E-AB7A-F00F83C67184.png
     
    #9 Jim, Dec 9, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2019
  10. Heyo

    Heyo Active Member

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    Newby. An experienced sadist says "maybe".
     
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  11. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चिदानन्द
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    Why: I see nothing productive coming of it. It does little more than feed the ego, which leads to emotions that are only harmful to me.

    How: By realizing that other people, in their truest form, are me. They are experiencing life as they see fit for their own journey and learning from these experiences.
     
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  12. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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  13. exchemist

    exchemist Well-Known Member

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    But it is not used of people over here, only things with a quantified value, such as currencies and financial assets. As your link illustrates, in fact.

    P.S. Though I see at the bottom it does include a qualitative use too, again regarding things, not people. I've never come across this usage.
     
    #13 exchemist, Dec 9, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2019
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  14. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चिदानन्द
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    I actually read it as 'deprecating' when I responded, but then again, as is evidenced in the "Who Else Misreads Titles" thread, this isn't entire uncommon for me.

    I'm not alone, though, as Frank read it as 'decapitating.'
     
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  15. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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    Did you check out definition 3?
     
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  16. exchemist

    exchemist Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, crossed with the P S I have just added to my post. ;)
     
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  17. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Right wing fabrication regurgitator...so they say.
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    I'm glad you did the deed for me.
    It was grating.
    While "depreciate" can be used as a synonym of "deprecate",
    the latter is better for clarity. (Primary vs tertiary definition.)
    The former smacks too much of accounting jargon.
     
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  18. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Right wing fabrication regurgitator...so they say.
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    How to do it?
    My advice is to consciously try avoiding dissing others.
    Not a perfect approach, but it reduces the failure rate.
     
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  19. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    Depends who you're dealing with. There are folks out there with whom you simply can't win. They can take 'Hello' as an insult. The Hindu greetings of 'Namaste', 'Namaskar', 'Vannakkam' etc. are all saying, more or less: "I salute the divine within you." True story ... Once upon a time I said 'Vanakkam' to an elderly person, and he flipped out on me as it was his tradition to say 'Namaskaram'. Pure and simply, he was a grumpy old man.

    When I taught school, there were children (and their parents) with whom I just couldn't be honest. Giving a B instead of an A was just too 'disparaging' to them.

    I see little value in lying to everyone and telling them that they and their ideas are wonderful all the time. In the long run, the truth will set them free, and they'll come to appreciate the honesty. That said, one can use a little tact consistently.
     
    #19 Vinayaka, Dec 9, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2019
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  20. Stevicus

    Stevicus Veteran Member
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    Well, I guess it's just a matter of following the old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
     
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