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Why and how do you avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities?

Jim

Nets of Wonder
NOTE: I edited the thread title and this post to say “disparage people’s character and capacities” instead of “depreciate people.”

If you try to strictly avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.
 
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Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
I read that as "decapitating people" at first. I was going to think of an honest answer, too. Lol. Don't mind me, carry on.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
If you try to strictly avoid depreciating people, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.
I used to make more of an effort, but the years taught me that sometimes it is not always constructive to deny people what they demand.

Most of the time, though, I do in fact try to avoid depreciating people, mainly because I do not like to be depreciated myself and I dearly like to try to convince people that they should not.
 
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Heyo

Veteran Member
Some actions need to be depreciated.
I try to fucus on that and not make it personal.
(I.e. "that was a bad thing to do" is OK while "You're a bad person" is not.)
 

exchemist

Veteran Member
If you try to strictly avoid depreciating people, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.
Don't you mean "deprecating"?

Definition of DEPRECATE

Or is this another of those transatlantic differences?

Not that I mean this in any deprecating way.........;)
 

Jim

Nets of Wonder
Don't you mean "deprecating"?

Definition of DEPRECATE

Or is this another of those transatlantic differences?
Maybe. I’ll look into it.

Webster online dictionary:
1: to lower in honor or esteem
- often depreciates the importance of her work

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SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
If you try to strictly avoid depreciating people, why and how do you do that?

Why: I see nothing productive coming of it. It does little more than feed the ego, which leads to emotions that are only harmful to me.

How: By realizing that other people, in their truest form, are me. They are experiencing life as they see fit for their own journey and learning from these experiences.
 
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exchemist

Veteran Member
But it is not used of people over here, only things with a quantified value, such as currencies and financial assets. As your link illustrates, in fact.

P.S. Though I see at the bottom it does include a qualitative use too, again regarding things, not people. I've never come across this usage.
 
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SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
I actually read it as 'deprecating' when I responded, but then again, as is evidenced in the "Who Else Misreads Titles" thread, this isn't entire uncommon for me.

I'm not alone, though, as Frank read it as 'decapitating.'
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Don't you mean "deprecating"?

Definition of DEPRECATE

Or is this another of those transatlantic differences?

Not that I mean this in any deprecating way.........;)
I'm glad you did the deed for me.
It was grating.
While "depreciate" can be used as a synonym of "deprecate",
the latter is better for clarity. (Primary vs tertiary definition.)
The former smacks too much of accounting jargon.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
NOTE: I edited the thread title and this post to say “disparage people’s character and capacities” instead of “depreciate people.”

If you try to strictly avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.
How to do it?
My advice is to consciously try avoiding dissing others.
Not a perfect approach, but it reduces the failure rate.
 
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Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
NOTE: I edited the thread title and this post to say “disparage people’s character and capacities” instead of “depreciate people.”

If you try to strictly avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.

Depends who you're dealing with. There are folks out there with whom you simply can't win. They can take 'Hello' as an insult. The Hindu greetings of 'Namaste', 'Namaskar', 'Vannakkam' etc. are all saying, more or less: "I salute the divine within you." True story ... Once upon a time I said 'Vanakkam' to an elderly person, and he flipped out on me as it was his tradition to say 'Namaskaram'. Pure and simply, he was a grumpy old man.

When I taught school, there were children (and their parents) with whom I just couldn't be honest. Giving a B instead of an A was just too 'disparaging' to them.

I see little value in lying to everyone and telling them that they and their ideas are wonderful all the time. In the long run, the truth will set them free, and they'll come to appreciate the honesty. That said, one can use a little tact consistently.
 
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Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
NOTE: I edited the thread title and this post to say “disparage people’s character and capacities” instead of “depreciate people.”

If you try to strictly avoid disparaging people’s character and capacities, why and how do you do that? One of my reasons is because it’s part of my spiritual journey. I’ve tried different ways of doing it, which I might post later. For now I’m trying to resist my temptation to post until I can do it with genuinely friendly feelings.

Well, I guess it's just a matter of following the old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
 
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