Well, Mestemia, as I've stated before, all relationships are different - and bring out different aspects of our personality. So to me it's just not that cut and dried. It's not always OK or always wrong to me - too many variables.
I put my money where my mouth is - it would be fine with me if my husband opened my mail, or snooped around in my online accounts. I have nothing to hide, and he's my best friend, my soul mate, my confidante, and my only lover. He doesn't mind either - but then, we've both been cheated on, in the most despicable ways, in which the internet played an integral part, in our past marriages. So - to us, it's important to have a lot of transparency in our lives.
That doesn't mean that we DO open each other's mail or snoop around in each other's accounts. In fact, we don't. But - I'll give you an example - my husband works out of town, and sometimes he'll get an important piece of mail. When I talk with him and tell him about it, he always asks, "Well, did you open it?" I always say, "No," because I haven't. Then he says, "Well, honey, why not? If it looks important, open it - I don't care."
Sometimes when I'm driving or real busy, I'll ask him to look inside my purse to get something. You should see the look of horror on his face. He feels that there's something inherently wrong about digging around in a woman's purse. He basically just won't do it.
My point is this - we respect each other's privacy, but within reason. We're not overly suspicious, but we're realistic about our own experiences. It's precisely BECAUSE we are so open and honest with each other that we have absolutely no need to snoop. But our radars work well too - we can usually tell when others are lying to us or hiding stuff. If either of us started exhibiting deceitful behavior, we know that the other has the right to ascertain the truth, by whatever means possible.
