What is your opinion on internet privacy?

[Vendetta]

Just to be brief very recently I encountered what you call a "bad break up" due to a female I was seeing "snooping" around in my facebook account. To give you some background I was at base and like I always tell people I primarily communicate on my phone since I am always not at home on my computer. Now, somehow a hacker was able to get into my Facebook profile (don't ask me how) and do all kinds of things to my profile. So, a female companion of mine at the time whom I was dating told me "do you trust me?" (Note the keywords) and I followed very quickly with a yes!

Because I didn't have access to a computer at that time she was able to change my password and secure my profile for me. Ok great! However the plot thickens!

Now there was a particular get together I had on a certain day with some friends and I wanted she and I to spend some part of the earlier day so we can see each other. She whined a bit but I told her that I had some friends to meet but promised to see her that night. She argued some more about it but relented. Couple hours later she cursed at me and called me all kinds of names. I was shocked about her reaction towards me so I tried to investigate. So all in all long story short I realized that she looked into my facebook private messages and read some messages I sent to some female friends. Majority of those messages were continuations I had on the phone. So after realizing she utilized my privacy to satisfy her curiousity I realized my privacy was violated and so I gave her the boot. However, discussing this with some of my feminist female friends they obviously took her side with the exception of a few, but the question remains: Despite whatever curiousity a person has is there such thing as a right to invade another adults privacy?

 

[Storm]

Yes.

I think she was in the wrong. That said, depending on the content of those messages, you may have been as well.

Either way, sounds like you're both better off.

 

[Revoltingest]

It seems pretty obvious that she violated your trust.

 

[Oneatatime]

Personally I am very cautious when it comes to my privacy, internet or otherwise. It's not neccesarily because I have anything dubious to hide but rather I like to keep my thoughts to myself, especially when there are people who are overly sensitive about some of the opinions I hold or critical about some of the things I enjoy.

The face you show the world and the face you show in private or amongst trusted friends is by neccessity different.

The woman was clearly in the wrong because she shouldn't have gone snooping around your person information. I've been trusted by friends and family to access their personal information for a specific purpose and I look at only what I need to look at and then exit. They have a right to not have their personal information pilfered just to satisfy my curiosity.

Whether or not you were doing something wrong does not justify her actions.

 

[Storm]

With permission, I'd like to post a less clear cut example of privacy violation....

 

[Vendetta]

Yes.

I think she was in the wrong. That said, depending on the content of those messages, you may have been as well.

Either way, sounds like you're both better off.

I disagree slightly. Regardless the content whether I was doing something under handed its still wrong to invade privacy

 

[sandandfoam]

I think it best to assume there is no such thing as internet privacy.

 

[Vendetta]

With permission, I'd like to post a less clear cut example of privacy violation....

Sure I am all ears......err fingers

 

[Storm]

I disagree slightly. Regardless the content whether I was doing something under handed its still wrong to invade privacy

You don't disagree, I just wasn't rushing to take sides.

Sure I am all ears......err fingers

OK.

My best friend was hanging out with her boyfriend watching a movie. Unusually, he kept texting, and wouldn't tell her what was up beyond "nothing important." When he went to the bathroom, she read his texts and found out he was cheating on her. Kicked him to the curb.

His stupidity aside, was she in the wrong?

 

[Vendetta]

I think it best to assume there is no such thing as internet privacy.

Sure it is. Within the confines of your home so long as the individual doesn't pass out their information willingly there is such thing as internet privacy. Most information that requires financial personal information is encrypted, so I don't know what you mean by not having internet privacy.

The situation with this particular individual was a voluntary thing on my part based on trust. She violated that.

 

[Vendetta]

Storm when I said "I disagree slightly, the following message was the part I slightly disagreed upon:

"depending on the content of those messages, you may have been as well."

Hence is why I said regardless of the content my privacy was taken advantage of.

Now here is the kicker! I was told by some old college friends of mine that spouses have a right to invade privacy. Now under what pretext is such a case true?

 

[Vendetta]

Storm you said:

"My best friend was hanging out with her boyfriend watching a movie. Unusually, he kept texting, and wouldn't tell her what was up beyond "nothing important." When he went to the bathroom, she read his texts and found out he was cheating on her. Kicked him to the curb.

His stupidity aside, was she in the wrong?"

Well there are two things to this:

Was she wrong to invade his privacy?

Yes. Regardless whether he was cheating, she had no right picking up his phone and scrolling through his messages.

Was she wrong for dumping him even though she invaded his privacy?

No. Obviously she found concrete evidence and justification [justification as in dumping him] for doing so HOWEVER, the difference is, is that she found out the truth sooner than later. Usually under handed things of that nature will come out so regardless whether he was cheating she would have known the truth in one way or another he was just stupid enough to be obvious. She was still wrong to be nosy. Now she is psychologically drawn into suspicious activity whenever a man is text messaging in a situation where it requires his attention.

 

[Koldo]

I think it best to assume there is no such thing as internet privacy.

Exactly.

 

[Koldo]

Storm when I said "I disagree slightly, the following message was the part I slightly disagreed upon:

"depending on the content of those messages, you may have been as well."

Hence is why I said regardless of the content my privacy was taken advantage of.

Now here is the kicker! I was told by some old college friends of mine that spouses have a right to invade privacy. Now under what pretext is such a case true?

This sort of situation is pretty much like receiving a personal letter in your home. Most spouses take it for granted they can open it. The same happens in the internet.

Given the fact that it is also possible to check messages you sent, many women ( and men ) also take it for granted they can read them.

 

[ChristineES]

I don't even want my husband going in and reading my messages. It isn't because I am communication with some guy or anything (I'm not), it is my facebook and my email, and whatever and I don't want people looking at it behind my back. It is like someone opening your mail (the snail variety).

 

[Vendetta]

This sort of situation is pretty much like receiving a personal letter in your home. Most spouses take it for granted they can open it. The same happens in the internet.

Given the fact that it is also possible to check messages you sent, many women ( and men ) also take it for granted they can read them.

The thing is even spouses have no right to invade privacy at least when it doesn't concern the relationship, then again, it may concern the relationship. But this particular matter was Facebook. The words "Do you trust me?" Were used and I said without hesitation yes. that action alone amounts to something and this was an advantage she abused.

 

[Vendetta]

I don't even want my husband going in and reading my messages. It isn't because I am communication with some guy or anything (I'm not), it is my facebook and my email, and whatever and I don't want people looking at it behind my back. It is like someone opening your mail (the snail variety).

My thoughts exactly. I feel if everyone knew everything about me it would in a sense rob me of my individuality.

 

[Penumbra]

I think this comes down to a case by case basis.

If someone has a feeling that their partner is doing something wrong to them, and they investigate and find out that their feelings are correct, I think it can be justified. If someone cheats or something similar, then they are more in the wrong than someone investigating them.

Privacy is a useful thing, because sometimes people want to say stuff without certain people knowing, but if people are routinely hiding stuff from their partner, and going behind their back to either cheat on them or flirt in ways they wouldn't appreciate, then it's all pretty messed up to start with.

 

[Kathryn]

Computer, cell phone, bank statements, underwear drawer, mailbox - all the same thing in my opinion.

The access to these which others have should be based on the level of the relationship. I believe that if we are hiding ANYTHING from a committed partner, we're probably in the wrong. And by hiding things, I don't mean hiding Christmas presents - you know what I mean.

I think in marriage or committed partnerships, you should consider your cell phone or your computer to be about the same level of privacy as your underwear drawer. I mean, you wouldn't expect to come home and find your partner digging around in your underwear drawer, but at the same time, you gotta kinda know that they MIGHT do so.

I often leave my computer "open" while I'm piddling around the house. My husband could go over and start poking around if he wanted. I don't have anything to hide. But if he had done so when we were casually dating, I would have had a problem with that. In fact, I wouldn't have left it up and running.

I have no idea if my husband has ever picked up my phone and gone through my calls. I've done so with his a few times - but it wasn't because I didn't trust him - I was looking for a number. Anyway - he didn't blink an eye - and I wouldn't either.

My ex husband left his email open and minimized on the screen at the office, and I went into his office to print something - and when I moved the mouse, his email popped up. Lo and behold - HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR. So - I busted him via his email - and I wasn't even looking. I sure am glad I found out though. Wow, that was some email....drama, drama, drama...

Even so, I'm not overly paranoid - because I'm not married to the same man. But I do think that husbands and wives should not HIDE things from each other - either in their drawers or in their computers. I think that if a spouse is suspicious, and the others' behavior is also suspicious - all bets are off. Hack the computer, hide a GPS in the car, hire a private investigator, do what you need to do. Just be prepared to take responsibility for your actions - whether your suspicions were justified or not.

 

[McBell]

Sure it is. Within the confines of your home so long as the individual doesn't pass out their information willingly there is such thing as internet privacy. Most information that requires financial personal information is encrypted, so I don't know what you mean by not having internet privacy.

I suspect he means that everything you put on/over the internet is subject to being archived and accessed at some later date with out your knowledge or consent.

The old saying "Locks only keep honest people honest" is still just as applicable to day as it was back when it was coined.

The only difference is how things are "locked" up.