Uncomfortable Feeling?

[AlexanderG]

@AlexanderG My post wasn't intended to be funny. What about it did you find humourous?

Oh, I just thought the situation quoted was so outrageous, and your response was to be justifiably outraged and it made me chuckle good-naturedly with empathy. Maybe I'm an odd duck, heh.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

I mean this in a respectful way (I'm NOT trying to bash religion at all here), but yes. For various reasons I've needed to attend a variety of services and religious ceremonies over the years. The one I don't have much background in are easy. I just work out what is required to be respectful, and stay out of the way, and I do that.
The ones I have a better handle on are sometimes more stressful. It's not so much where I disagree with scripture, etc. I know going into ANY theistic service there will be things that I disagree with, or don't make sense to me, and I'm very much a 'to each their own' sort of person. But I've been at services where there has been heavy editorializing by the congregation leader, and it seems to go beyond 'mere' scriptural teachings, and into commentary about society, and about groups within in.

Those services have been at times the most uplifting, and at other times the most depressing (to the point I leave with a splitting headache, which is a rarity for me normally). Just depends on the nature of the editorializing. It goes beyond 'religion', and moves more to 'leadership', which can be both positive (some of the best messaging I've heard about refugees, for example) and negative (some of the worst, inaccurate and most dehumanising things I've heard about atheists).

 

[Wildswanderer]

Well I used to be very uncomfortable during alter calls before I was saved. And when I was growing up in a Christian school, we had some real fire and brimstone type preachers. I remember well the story about the kid roaring by the revival meeting on his motorcycle and wrapping it around a tree. It was the kind of a scary message that got a lot of kids to go to the altar. I think that's a really terrible way to actually reach people now.
I'm not against alter calls, just the scaring the hell out of people part ( literally). It doesn't really work, IMO.
I've been to various kinds of churches since and liked most of them. Lots of variation and lots of good folks
We accidentally got into a Pentecostal Church on a Sunday down south. It was wild, but not too crazy. I actually really enjoyed it and the music was awesome.
Formal isn't really my thing, but those kind of churches have their own appeal.
God can work in many different venues from old hymns to rock and roll. From quiet speakers to shouters. In the old Holiness churches, there was also a lot of running the aisles and everybody praying out loud at the same time, I kind of miss that sometimes, but not the fire and brimstone part.

 

[robocop (actually)]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

I think singing the hymns is like thought stopping and testimony meeting could be too faith promoting.

 

[Psalm23]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

I have gotten anxious with loud music in service. I don’t mind loud music but at times I have felt uncomfortable. Also bright lights and especially red lights bothers my eyes when under them before.

 

[Psalm23]

Absolutely!

Despite being raised in a conservative Christian environment since I was literally one week old, I never believed any of it, "accepted Jesus", or considered myself a Christian. The church I grew up attending (3 days a week) had a pastor who, once someone like me turned about 12-13 years old, would oftentimes end the Sunday service with an "alter call" where she would ask if there was anyone in the congregation who wanted to accept Jesus and be saved that day. But it didn't stop there! About once a month or so, she'd actually walk up to me with a microphone and say something like "The Lord is speaking to me right now and He's telling me that this is the day 'Jose' gets saved." Then she would put the mic right up to me and ask "What do you say to God?" Of course me being me, I'd just look her straight in the eye and say "No", but the pressure to just say yes was intense. It was probably the most group pressure to conform that I've ever experienced.

Years later after I'd been married and had kids, my wife became a Christian (mainstream, non-conservative). For a while, she'd invite me to her church, I guess hoping that I'd finally see the light or something...lol. During the service they'd do a communion ceremony, where everyone would file down the aisle, get their wine and cracker, and go back to the pews. Everyone except me that is. Not being a Christian, I just sat there as people had to walk around me, and they'd usually have a sort of condescending smirk on their face as if to say "That's too bad". It really sucked. So after about three services I just told my wife (in a very loving, nice way) that I'd grown up in church, knew what the faith believed, didn't believe any of it, and didn't see any point in me attending Sunday services. I also explained how awkward it was being the only one in a large church that sat during communion. Thankfully she understood and it's never been an issue since.

A lot of pastors it seems teach around communion that only believers in Jesus should take it. I disagree with this point of view. I believe it is ok for everyone to take it regardless.

 

[Psalm23]

I have often felt like during communion I would have to confess sins before taking it. I’ve had times I felt uncomfortable if I had a bad thought before taking communion. I have since shifted my perspective on this. I consider it as a way to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to pay for my sin rather than confessing a bunch of sins.

I probably felt uncomfortable once when I was praying with a group in a circle. They would squeeze your hand when it was your turn and I tried to think a head of time what I may say.

 

[firedragon]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

I have been to many services but one stood out. I won't mention names, but there is a very famous pastor who can also sing very well. He makes gospel music CD's and sells them. There is a lot of money involved in the church.

Anyway, what really stood out was that one day he was spitting on people to bless them.

 

[F1fan]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

My mom is a artist and she used to attend a Universalist Church. She did a huge "spiritual" painting that was put behind the altar, which is very cool. So I attended the unveiling service. I'm an atheist so I rarely go to church services.

So Universalists are very liberal, but the pastor gave a sermon that I had serious problems with as I listened. My views are very similar to Krishnamurti's, so if you are familiar with what he says you will understand my point.

What I found disturbing is that the pastor was trying to ease the minds of the people in the audience. She was doing something like a guided meditation, leading people in thought about how the temple we were is was a safe place. That they can feel and be safe in this space, that they are protected and can feel at ease.

Superficially you might wonder what is wrong with that. What I find troubling is that her words implies the outside world ISN'T safe. Now she doesn't say this directly, but our words can imply meanings indirectly.

This is a person who is trusted and to my mind she is exploiting the fear and anxiety of the audience. Yeah they might feel momentary peace, but as soon as they leave? What do they feel then? My cynical mind thinks this is a way to get the audience dependent and keep coming back, keep dropping money in the tray, keep the business afloat.

I was disappointed and felt that the pastor was out of line and naive. It illustrates the major dilemma of religion to me, and that is an authority figure saying things that can subtly exploit the emotions of an audience. These are people seeking empowerment, meaning, ways to navigate a world that has a lot of uncertainty. I think it better to give people things to think about that allows them to be more self-reliant. This may affect the business model, but if crafted a certain way an audience cn be attracted to a sermon that makes them laugh and wonder. Give the people challenges to be better people. Let them rise in their own light, and not just walk away with impressions that the world is dangerous.

 

[Windwalker]

What I found disturbing is that the pastor was trying to ease the minds of the people in the audience. She was doing something like a guided meditation, leading people in thought about how the temple we were is was a safe place. That they can feel and be safe in this space, that they are protected and can feel at ease.

Superficially you might wonder what is wrong with that. What I find troubling is that her words implies the outside world ISN'T safe. Now she doesn't say this directly, but our words can imply meanings indirectly.

This is a person who is trusted and to my mind she is exploiting the fear and anxiety of the audience. Yeah they might feel momentary peace, but as soon as they leave? What do they feel then? My cynical mind thinks this is a way to get the audience dependent and keep coming back, keep dropping money in the tray, keep the business afloat.

While I wasn't there, what I hear her saying is nothing atypical. Someone in a meditative state can be in a very vulnerable state. Some assurance they are safe, allows them to set aside fear in order to do the work found in meditative states, of letting go, feeling safe with what arises from the subconscious, and such. Not unusual. Any therapist tries to create a safe space for any client for them to be able to do the work.

I think you may have taken what she said too literally and not understood the intent. It wasn't about physical safety, so much as a supportive, loving environment. That makes more sense to me.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

One Sunday in mass at my ex's church, the priest was giving a homily about the importance of faith. He kept looking over at me and locking eyes with me, like he was trying to emphasize points to me specifically. It made things very uncomfortable, especially because he did not look pleased.

At the time, I was trying to figure out a way to accept theism/Christianity in general/Catholicism, and I had discussed obstacles to this with my (now ex-) wife. I'm fairly sure that she was talking to the priests at her church about these obstacles and about the problem of her atheist husband, so I don't think it wasn't me imagining things.

(As a sidenote, though... I found out years later that right around this time, this particular priest was sued civilly over sexual abuse allegations from when he was in a different parish in the US, so maybe that's why he looked angry. He ended up dying of natural causes before the suit went to trial)

 

[exchemist]

Have you ever found anything uncomfortable at your worship service? Is there anything you'd change, even? Or have you gone to a service you don't usually attend, such as a different denomination, and has anything made you uncomfortable or shocked etc.?

Often. Most commonly execrable music, in Catholic churches other than those I normally frequent. But also bad sermons that I disagree with. And collections for anti-abortion ginger groups.

As for other denominations, I grew up with Anglican services at school, so find them fine. I avoid happy-clappy evangelicals like the plague, so have never had to endure one of their services.

 

[Jose Fly]

A lot of pastors it seems teach around communion that only believers in Jesus should take it. I disagree with this point of view. I believe it is ok for everyone to take it regardless.

In the church I grew up in, we were told taking communion when you're not truly saved is an unforgivable sin. That's not why I didn't take it at my wife's church though. That was more "I'm not a Christian, so I don't see any reason to take their communion".

 

[Psalm23]

In the church I grew up in, we were told taking communion when you're not truly saved is an unforgivable sin. That's not why I didn't take it at my wife's church though. That was more "I'm not a Christian, so I don't see any reason to take their communion".

That’s understandable. I’m sorry to hear about the judgmental looks. They should not have done that.

 

[Jose Fly]

That’s understandable. I’m sorry to hear about the judgmental looks. They should not have done that.

Thanks. I guess they couldn't help but think to themselves, "Poor lil' sinner".

 

[Psalm23]

Thanks. I guess they couldn't help but think to themselves, "Poor lil' sinner".

According to Christian doctrine, everyone sins. Jesus encourages his followers to “judge not lest you be judged”( Matthew 7:1) and removing the plank before attempting to get the speck from another’s eye.( Matthew 7:4-5)

It is possible for communion time to become more rote, going through the motions without considering the purpose of communion which is to remember Jesus death on the cross to pay for sins. If one considers this and has understanding of one’s own shortcomings, then judging others seems less likely around time time in my opinion.

 

[Jose Fly]

According to Christian doctrine, everyone sins. Jesus encourages his followers to “judge not lest you be judged”( Matthew 7:1) and removing the plank before attempting to get the speck from another’s eye.( Matthew 7:4-5)

It is possible for communion time to become more rote, going through the motions without considering the purpose of communion which is to remember Jesus death on the cross to pay for sins. If one considers this and has understanding of one’s own shortcomings, then judging others seems less likely around time time in my opinion.

To be fair, I'm sure much of it was my imagination. It's hard to literally be the only person in a large church to not participate in something like that and not feel like everyone else is judging you, even if they're really not.

The good thing is, it opened the door for me to have a frank (and positive) discussion with my wife about my thoughts and views on Christianity and religion.

 

[Psalm23]

To be fair, I'm sure much of it was my imagination. It's hard to literally be the only person in a large church to not participate in something like that and not feel like everyone else is judging you, even if they're really not.

The good thing is, it opened the door for me to have a frank (and positive) discussion with my wife about my thoughts and views on Christianity and religion.

That is possible too. Good to hear the discussion was positive.

 

[SigurdReginson]

Most definitely! I never liked altar calls, I never liked laying on hands, and I never liked worship songs. Public displays of worship just never made me comfortable. I've always appreciated private practice far more. What's the point of church if it causes a feeling of disconnect between you and your relationship with the divine?

 

[Psalm23]

Most definitely! I never liked altar calls, I never liked laying on hands, and I never liked worship songs. Public displays of worship just never made me comfortable. I've always appreciated private practice far more. What's the point of church if it causes a feeling of disconnect between you and your relationship with the divine?

Where did the feeling of disconnect happen in the church? I have been in a church service when they were playing a happy rejoicing type song but I wasn’t feeling so happy that time. I was feeling sad and down but the music didn’t reflect how I was feeling.