Quite a few people were upset with my last journal entry. I am not apologizing for it. I do not believe anything I said was outside of what I perceive to be the reality of what we are dealing with. But I do owe at least a sliver more depth as to where these feelings are coming from. I will do that now.
In my experience, we (as people) typically experience negative emotions due to mismatches across our dimensions of existence. Here are some examples:
I will be leaving this area in the near future, but that brings me to the second mismatch: belief. Even in the short period that I have been watching politics, polarization is becoming more and more of a threat. As a whole, the Republican party continues to push further and further right. More and more authoritarian. This has been made abundantly clear with Donald Trump and his insistence on election fraud despite no conclusive evidence to the contrary. But it isn't just him. It is the politicians who share the same party as him and who continue to use the same language he does. Drawing the same conclusions he does, pulling in the same people that he does.
This leads me to a conclusion: the paradigm of the authoritarian right is not going to go away. The money of lobbyists comes before the needs of the people. I find it horrifying that the people of this country got a one time stipend of $1200 and were then left to cold for months and months. Failing corporations got billions to help support them and they laid off their workers anyway. But it doesn't stop there because establishment Democrats are just as compromised.
It is a failed system and the only people who can change it are the very same people who get the kickbacks from its continued existence. Sure, there are a few outliers but they are not in a political position to make a meaningful change because the system is not designed for them. On a long enough timeline, they will be unable to financially secure their continued seat at the table.
All of this to say that I can change my environment, but the mismatch of belief is on the level of the government itself. It doesn't matter what state I move to, nothing changes. The lowest common denominator with the loudest voice gets the attention. We saw that in real-time when conservatives took the streets armed with assault weapons demanding the re-opening of Outback Steakhouse last spring.
No matter where I live, I am one health catastrophe away from being financially ruined for the rest of my life. That transcends my own political position and geographic location within this country.
There is no redemption story for me here and that is very challenging to deal with because it presents an unenviable choice. Do I tolerate it and stay or do I give it all up and leave? Watching 70 million people vote for a man who actively stood against scientific progress at the cost of hundreds of thousands of American lives broke me. It told me that racism, sexism, bigotry of all flavors, and the lives of their own countrymen did not matter. It made me realize that the corrupt political system I see is a perfectly accurate reflection of the people voted for it to stay in place.
I can't trust what I see around me. I can't trust my neighbors not to make a short-sighted choice in the name of political allegiance.
I have realized that the level of mismatch does not stop at my job, my town, or my state. It is at the level of the country I was born in. So yeah... I am a little agitated.
In my experience, we (as people) typically experience negative emotions due to mismatches across our dimensions of existence. Here are some examples:
- Mismatch of Self: Someone who feels negative emotions towards who they feel they are.
- Mismatch of Relationships: Someone who feels negative emotions towards who they spend their time with.
- Mismatch of Profession: Someone who feels negative emotions towards what they do as a profession.
- Mismatch of Environment: Someone who feels negative emotions towards their surroundings.
- Mismatch of Belief: Someone who feels negative emotions towards others because their beliefs are in competition or are incompatible.
- etc etc etc
I will be leaving this area in the near future, but that brings me to the second mismatch: belief. Even in the short period that I have been watching politics, polarization is becoming more and more of a threat. As a whole, the Republican party continues to push further and further right. More and more authoritarian. This has been made abundantly clear with Donald Trump and his insistence on election fraud despite no conclusive evidence to the contrary. But it isn't just him. It is the politicians who share the same party as him and who continue to use the same language he does. Drawing the same conclusions he does, pulling in the same people that he does.
This leads me to a conclusion: the paradigm of the authoritarian right is not going to go away. The money of lobbyists comes before the needs of the people. I find it horrifying that the people of this country got a one time stipend of $1200 and were then left to cold for months and months. Failing corporations got billions to help support them and they laid off their workers anyway. But it doesn't stop there because establishment Democrats are just as compromised.
It is a failed system and the only people who can change it are the very same people who get the kickbacks from its continued existence. Sure, there are a few outliers but they are not in a political position to make a meaningful change because the system is not designed for them. On a long enough timeline, they will be unable to financially secure their continued seat at the table.
All of this to say that I can change my environment, but the mismatch of belief is on the level of the government itself. It doesn't matter what state I move to, nothing changes. The lowest common denominator with the loudest voice gets the attention. We saw that in real-time when conservatives took the streets armed with assault weapons demanding the re-opening of Outback Steakhouse last spring.
No matter where I live, I am one health catastrophe away from being financially ruined for the rest of my life. That transcends my own political position and geographic location within this country.
There is no redemption story for me here and that is very challenging to deal with because it presents an unenviable choice. Do I tolerate it and stay or do I give it all up and leave? Watching 70 million people vote for a man who actively stood against scientific progress at the cost of hundreds of thousands of American lives broke me. It told me that racism, sexism, bigotry of all flavors, and the lives of their own countrymen did not matter. It made me realize that the corrupt political system I see is a perfectly accurate reflection of the people voted for it to stay in place.
I can't trust what I see around me. I can't trust my neighbors not to make a short-sighted choice in the name of political allegiance.
I have realized that the level of mismatch does not stop at my job, my town, or my state. It is at the level of the country I was born in. So yeah... I am a little agitated.
