Doses of reality by Deidre

[Left Coast]

Hello, nice to meet you. Yea, my impatience ebbs and flows - mainly it has to do with not knowing what the future holds. Not that we ever can know without a doubt, but covid news changes so much and often, that you find yourself in a waiting pattern. But maybe we need to make the most of waiting. I've found my prayer life has blossomed during the waiting, more than when things come easily. How do you like being a mod?

I've found for myself that mindfulness meditation has helped me focus on the present and kept me grounded rather than caught up in anxiety about all the changes.

I really enjoy being a mod. The staff here are lovely people and are really committed to making this place thrive and adhere to its mission, which I find very inspiring.

 

[Deidre]

Mine was sewn for me by a family member: custom. You could probably identify it by satellite. Boy do I feel like a dork, sometimes, when I go into a shop. People around here aren't taking the masks too seriously. Few people here have come down with the illness. I'd say about 1/2 of people wear them out and about.

I'm admiring everyone's newfound sewing skillz lol I have NONE. I'm sure you look great. Well, as great as someone can look wearing a mask during a pandemic.

True submission as a religion is unfollowable in this day and age and regular whatever one thinks to be Islam is definitely false and all labels mean a lot at the same mean a whole a lot of nothing as there are so many differences and divisions under every claim to a label.

I believe in Mohammad and his successors, just don't claim to follow or represent them, and of course Mohammad submitted to God I believe, doesn't make him Muslim nor Islam the true religion, as that sectarian division nonsense has to stop with humans.

Rallying around titles like Islam and Muslim never brought anyone closer to the truth.

When the Mahdi comes back, all I got to do is say yeah what he said is my religion. Till then, religion over all is too complex to fully follow yet I can't do without what I know, so try to follow what I know at least to be true.

It's funny you say this, because I wrestled with my faith beliefs for a few years as you remember. I follow Jesus, if anyone asks, that's what I say. I don't care for the label ''Christian,'' as it's been battered by so many, including those who wear the label. For me, Jesus is the real deal, I've come to conclude.

In your case, Muhammad was a prophet, and so you wouldn't be following him per se, but you'd be following God, and the beliefs that Muhammad taught, is that right? I think that many followers of religion as you say, get caught up in following the wrong things, the ideals, and then fighting over it all...forgetting what they even believe to begin with.

What you been up to? How's living the dream job and dream going?

The dream job isn't so dreamy anymore. lol I've been spending time thinking of something else to do with my talents. Covid opened my eyes up to things I hadn't thought possible before. Before covid, we were all just running...chasing dreams that others told us to dream, but I've finally had time to ask myself...is this my dream??

You seem clear, and grounded.

Welcome back Deidre .....some of us are still here.....still irresistible forces clashing with immovable objects....

Thank you!! It's great seeing familiar names and avatars. How are you doing during this pandemic?

Very thoughtful. I certainly think the pandemic has made a lot of us rethink our priorities. I have hopes it may make some of us fitter, for one thing. (Most Londoners I know won't use public transport for the foreseeable future - there will be a lot of walking and cycling.) Also we may place a higher value on social contact. We will all get poorer, of course, too, so best to be prepared for that. Alarmingly, it looks from outside as though the USA is becoming even more politically dysfunctional, if that were possible. Trump seems to be slowly taking the country towards autocracy and civil war.

By the way, while looking at your comments about Trump I happened to catch sight, out of the corner of my eye of @Mark Dohle 's thread and misread it as "The Perfect Git".

You speak wise words, and I think that there's so much to learn from all of this. As mentioned in my opening, I've learned just how impatient I was. How reckless with money, I was. Staying at home, collected with our thoughts, has changed my thinking. Not so self focused. I'll have to see this other thread you're mentioning.

 

[Deidre]

Day two

Today was kind of boring, but maybe we mistake peace for boredom. I found time to take a much needed nap. I'm not sleeping well ever since Covid started becoming a thing, and I'm not sure why. I'm not nervous or rattled over the future. But, it's like an itch that you can't scratch, that annoys you all day long. Covid has been frightening, and yet revealing. It's just...there. I think it has revealed people's character, good or bad. Adversity reveals a lot about us, whether we like it or not. It's better to just face the demons that lurk beneath the surface, than pretend they're not there. Or pretend that you somehow are above them all.

I turn to God in these moments, and my faith has blossomed. Like you say @Left Coast, mindful meditation is quite beneficial. Prayers and mindful meditation together, is what I tend to do.

So, restaurants and nail salons and other not so ''essential'' shops are opening and while I'm happy that the world is progressing forward again, I can't help but think we're not ready yet. I don't want to live my life in fear, that's not healthy. But, are we ready? Are we ready for this new normal?

I hope so, because it's happening, ready or not.

 

[Link]

It's funny you say this, because I wrestled with my faith beliefs for a few years as you remember. I follow Jesus, if anyone asks, that's what I say. I don't care for the label ''Christian,'' as it's been battered by so many, including those who wear the label. For me, Jesus is the real deal, I've come to conclude.

In your case, Muhammad was a prophet, and so you wouldn't be following him per se, but you'd be following God, and the beliefs that Muhammad taught, is that right? I think that many followers of religion as you say, get caught up in following the wrong things, the ideals, and then fighting over it all...forgetting what they even believe to begin with.

The family of Mohammad in their hadiths mirror the Quran with respect to Jesus, in that Jesus is the most quoted Messenger in the Quran. No one is quoted more then him.

Anyways, the Gospels I believe weren't words inspired to Disciples but rather God revealed it to Jesus and paraphrased it from the vantage point of each disciple. This was to show that God was aware of the experiences of the Disciples as well and it was a proof for them.

There is some minor disagreements I have with the Gospels, but aside from that, I believe there was one Gospel hidden for Mohammad and his family to reveal and the following link has it: A Portion of the Gospel

Particularly, the 5 entry, while other sayings are parts of the Gospels revealed to Jesus to disciples to humanity paraphrased differently to interpret one another, I believe the 5th one there, was given by Elyas/Elijah from Jesus from God to Mohammad to his family to their lovers, and I wanted to share this with you.

My favorite part of it:

In truth I say to you, surely fire does not occur in a single house, but it spreads from house to house, until many houses are burnt, unless the first house is reached and it is destroyed to its pillars. Then the fire finds no place to burn. Likewise the first oppressor, if his hand is stopped, no one will be found after him to be an unjust leader for others to follow, just as if the fire finds no wood or boards in the first house, it will not burn anything.

In truth I say to you, whoever looks at a snake that intends to strike his brother and does not warn him until it kills him, he will not be secure from partnership in his murder. Likewise, whoever looks at his brother doing something wrong, and does not warn him of its consequences until it encompasses him, he will not be secure from partnership in his sin. Whoever has the power to change an oppressor but does not change him, he is like an agent [of oppression].

 

[Link]

Actually I like this part better:

How can the oppressor be frightened when he is safe among you and he is neither prohibited, nor changed, nor are his hands restrained? Why should the oppressors then give up? How should they not become arrogant? It is enough that one of you say, ‘I shall not oppress, but whoever wants to oppress, go ahead,’ and he sees oppression but does not change it. If it were as you say, why are you punished with the oppressors, though you do not commit their deeds, when the chastisement descends upon them in this world.

Woe unto you, O servants of evil! How can you hope that Allah may secure you from the terror of the day of resurrection, when you are afraid to obey Allah because you fear people, and you obey them in disobedience to Him, and you keep your promises to them contrary to His covenant.

 

[Deidre]

day three

I think back to what I was doing before Covid. Before everything went to masks and lockdowns. Before we couldn't leave our homes, and now we can. Before we started fighting over toilet paper and Lysol. (why there has been a toilet paper shortage, is still beyond me)

What was I doing? I remember complaining about work. Complaining about a coworker or two. My husband and I were thinking of starting a family. But, then we changed our minds, literally moments (it seems) before Covid hit. ''I'm not ready,'' but what was I waiting to be ready for? I guess a pandemic to be over.

I wasn't cooking much, but hubby and I exercise together, and enjoy dining out. Locked in the house, I found myself discovering new cuisine to experiment with, all different cultures and tastes. I started watching more Netflix series, and Zooming with long lost friends more often. I've prayed considerably more, well, maybe not more...but more focused. I prayed for people I've never met, and the world over. The world suddenly became smaller to me, and I started listing names from random articles I'd read about families broken apart from other countries, due to the virus.

I remember not taking it seriously at first, and then I did. And then I really did, and wept over Italy's numbers, and the UK. And eventually, for the US. It is weird how a few months ago, life was so much different. Not necessarily better, maybe it wasn't better. Because I feel more whole now, if that makes sense? I feel like I have learned so much about life, about myself, about others. I've looked at death in an entirely new light, and feel like my faith is the most important part of my life, now.

This pandemic has been a nightmare in so many ways, but I feel like I've awakened in a way. We sometimes walk along life half asleep, going through the motions of work, and socializing. We need to be here or there, all at the same time. But, Covid caused me to slow down, and examine life. Not just live it.

I can't say a pandemic is good for the soul, definitely not. But, there have been lessons throughout that I won't be quick to forget. I won't be able to forget.

 

[Deeje]

Thank you!! It's great seeing familiar names and avatars. How are you doing during this pandemic?

Not much has changed for me actually. I am stuck at home most of the time anyhow, looking after my Mum, so I keep busy doing things around the house. Some painting and maintenance jobs. I am attempting a vege garden again as my chiropractor has me working in the garden again. Its been a while with back problems and torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders.....but I'm getting on top of all that now. Its good to be able to work again.

What about you? I see how have you been impacted....

 

[Deidre]

day four

By days, I mean the days that this journal is existing. lol

I had a good day, today. Busy, with work stuff. Had prayer time in the morning. I need to get back to waking up really early to pray. There's something about the solitude of the morning, the bugs aren't swarming around at that hour. I can sip my coffee as my husband sleeps. It's nice. My mom always chooses to text me early in the morning. Some days, I'm asleep and the buzzing sound of the text message jolts me awake. Talk about a light sleeper. I'm jealous of people who fall asleep easily and stay solidly asleep all night long, their bodies molded into the bed without turning over once. I think that's a super power of sorts, to fall asleep quickly and easily.

I have an app that has a myriad of bedtime stories, all narrated by various celebs. It's pretty cool, for the sleep challenged. There is an entire section on trains. Yes, trains. They faintly have the sounds of a train car in the background, as if you are a passenger, and hear the various noises from within and without. The story is usually a fact based one, about a train that traveled here or there, and it's interesting. The key with these sleep stories, is to have a lot of run on sentences, and a lulling calm voice speaking them. I've never finished a story, before falling asleep.

I have more to share, but I'll save it for another time. Thanks for reading all this, it makes me feel like we're friends, sitting down for coffee at a favorite bistro or something. Only I'm doing all the talking.

 

[Deidre]

Not much has changed for me actually. I am stuck at home most of the time anyhow, looking after my Mum, so I keep busy doing things around the house. Some painting and maintenance jobs. I am attempting a vege garden again as my chiropractor has me working in the garden again. Its been a while with back problems and torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders.....but I'm getting on top of all that now. Its good to be able to work again.

What about you? I see how have you been impacted....

I didn't know about your shoulder/back issues, are they recent? I'm glad that it seems to be getting better. I've wanted to take up painting, but never did. I sound like I can't ever, lol but I should do that soon. Covid kind of showed me that there is much outside of our control in life, and we shouldn't put off things we have been meaning to do. Overall, Covid impacted me, but in good and bad ways. Bad, being that I have been disappointed in myself that I returned to some negative thought patterns that I had given to God. Or so I thought. But, good things occurred too, as I've mentioned. I'd say my prayer life has grown beyond what it was prior to Covid, and it was getting deeper, then. But, I find myself to be more mindful and intentional, now.

Glad you stopped in here to say hello.

 

[Deidre]

day five

I went for a lengthy run today, around a few nearby lakes. It was serene and reflective. Didn't do much today, afterwards. Paid a few bills, and hubby went to help his parents with something. I'm in the process of reading two books at the same time. I have a bad habit of reading that last chapter, but I'm forcing myself not to spoil the ending. I remember doing this a few years ago with a murder mystery, and it literally ruined the entire rest of the story. Not sure why I do that, honestly. It's that impatience thing, maybe.

Memorial Day weekend is approaching and having a few friends over who have been quarantining like us. Hubby has been out way more than me, I'm fine waiting a little longer. They say there's a four week window of time once one is exposed to the virus, before exhibiting symptoms, so to run out into the world again just because Trump says it's ''time,'' doesn't mean we should. But, we have masks in the event I become brave. It's funny that I'll consider myself brave when I dare to dine in a restaurant again.

All those unsung heroes are rolling in their graves. lol

 

[Deidre]

day six

Spent time in my prayer diary today, and meditating on Scripture. I used to feel that the Bible was an ancient book of stories, not really relevant to modern times. But, in reading it again, with a less cynical view, I think it's completely relevant. The struggles, the lamentations, the victories, the vanity, the beauty, the beast that exists within us all, the jealousy, the fervor, the contempt, the rejoicing, the melancholy times, the pandemics, the gender problems, the racism, the tribalism...we're still dealing with all of this today.

God hasn't changed, He is caring, He is there, what man meant for bad, God means for good. There is no victory without suffering. There is no rejoicing if we're not challenged. My grandmother used to say that a lot, and now that she's been gone for a few years, I finally understand what she meant. There's so much I could say about my relationship with Jesus, but it wouldn't be enough. But, it has changed my life for the better.

About today. It looks like rain. I need to workout, and then run some errands. I don't mind wearing a mask, in a way, it makes us all look mysterious. lol So many people not obeying CDC guidelines, and not wearing masks. I guess they feel the pandemic is finished. At some point, we have to decide for ourselves, do we want to be a part of the problem, or the solution?

Time to get on with the day. It's already afternoon, and I'm procrastinating. The one thing about the stay at home order, you could procrastinate and not feel guilty about it.

 

[Link]

I don't mind wearing a mask, in a way, it makes us all look mysterious. lol So many people not obeying CDC guidelines, and not wearing masks. I guess they feel the pandemic is finished. At some point, we have to decide for ourselves, do we want to be a part of the problem, or the solution?

Time to get on with the day. It's already afternoon, and I'm procrastinating. The one thing about the stay at home order, you could procrastinate and not feel guilty about it.

I found this part funny. Rest was deep, but this part deep and funny.

 

[Deidre]

I found this part funny. Rest was deep, but this part deep and funny.

You're thinking it, too?

 

[Link]

You're thinking it, too?

I tried to understand this. I don't know what you mean lol.

 

[Deidre]

I tried to understand this. I don't know what you mean lol.

About procrastination. Lol

 

[Deidre]

day seven

Gloomy, humid weather today. I feel a little down. It saddens me how so few of my friends who believe in God, want to chat about Him. It’s unfortunate, but Jesus is often negatively judged and dismissed, because of the bad behaviors of those who say they follow Him. Bad behaviors meaning bigotry, racism, sexism etc These “isms” have become synonymous with Christianity, but they weren’t what Jesus taught. So it seems like these friends of mine are ashamed to share the faith because of these negative connotations. This is a guess, who knows for sure. But I wish I had more of a community to support me in my faith. (besides my husband and parents)

Anyway, that’s on my mind right now.

 

[Link]

It saddens me how so few of my friends who believe in God, want to chat about Him.

I have basically no friends in real life (not online world) that like to talk about God. So a few - I wish I had that!

 

[Deidre]

I have basically no friends in real life (not online world) that like to talk about God. So a few - I wish I had that!

I want to cry reading this. I feel you and glad we can talk about it here

 

[Deidre]

Sunday night, and I have a migraine. I've had it now for the past few hours. I don't get these much anymore, but when I do, it's just the worst. Eye pain like nothing else.

 

[Link]

Sunday night, and I have a migraine. I've had it now for the past few hours. I don't get these much anymore, but when I do, it's just the worst. Eye pain like nothing else.

Do you know why you get them?