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being in a relationship with someone who is a "bit" older/younger
- Thread starter satyaroop
- Start date
I've been in relationships with those 5+ years older and younger than me. I find being in a relationship with someone my age makes things easier because you have common cultural referents to come back to, and that because you were part of that culture that shaped your thoughts and values, that alone makes it a little easier to understand each other than those who don't have that.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Adults are adults. It shouldn't matter.
PureX
Veteran Member
There are stages to life, if we are living them as most people do. And it's going to be difficult for people in different stages of adulthood to support and identify with each other. Either someone has been 'stunted' in some way, and thereby is at the same level of maturity even though the ages are different, or someone is trying to 'cheat the path' by jumping ahead to a level they have not really earned. I'm sure there are exceptions to this, as some of us do naturally mature faster than others, but they are far more rare than anyone wants to admit. I would say that if you are contemplating such a relationship, be VERY skeptical.
I don't know any human (or other animal, for that matter) who doesn't have relationships with persons both older and younger than them.
But by "relationship" you probably meant "sexual/romantic/breeding relationship." I don't care. Not my business.
But by "relationship" you probably meant "sexual/romantic/breeding relationship." I don't care. Not my business.
I personally would have no problem having a sexual or romantic relationship with a much younger guy than me, because I don't think of myself as what my age is... 60. That is to say, I'm quite immature. 
Successful relationships should have nothing to do with age. Maturity doesn't come with numbers. Mature people should be able to meld their lives based on common interests and compatibility.....and the most important factor....genuine, unselfish love.
Immature people usually have relationship problems all their lives because they fail to recognise why they have made poor choices, because of repeating the same mistakes and holding onto the same unrealistic expectations.
If both parties equally work at making their partner happy, instead of concentrating only on their own happiness, they might just have a very successful relationship. Give and take needs to be equal.
Just my two cents worth.
Immature people usually have relationship problems all their lives because they fail to recognise why they have made poor choices, because of repeating the same mistakes and holding onto the same unrealistic expectations.
If both parties equally work at making their partner happy, instead of concentrating only on their own happiness, they might just have a very successful relationship. Give and take needs to be equal.
Just my two cents worth.
15 years is okay. 5 years young is good since I'm only 28. Over that is too much for a relationship. I prefer people my own age.
Augustus
…
Depend on the people involved. Many things can, in theory, get in the way of a relationship and a large age difference is certainly one of them as it often relates to different interests, expectations, etc. This is more likely to be an issue if they are younger than maybe 23 or so.
If we ruled out relationships on the basis of potential sources of problems we would spend all our time lonely though.
In my experience, it might be an issue of it might not, but you won't know that until you try. On it's own it's not an issue of great importance if everything else matches. If you get on well, you get on well.
Subduction Zone
Veteran Member
Age difference depends a lot on your own age. At 30 a girl 15 years younger than you puts you in Roy Moore territory. At 60 going with a 45 year old is no big deal.
Buddha Dharma
Dharma Practitioner
I've been in a relationship with someone over 10 years older than me.
Thank you very much. I have forwarded your post to my husband in triplicate.
Jedster
Well-Known Member
About 50 years ago, when I was around 20, I had a relationship with a woman 10 years my senior. We were 'together' for 2 years and remained best of friends until her death 10 years later. I have great memories and can say that the age difference never mattered.
I better be. The age range of my serious relationships spans three decades.
Axe Elf
Prophet
It's probably because I'm so darned smart and mature, but while I haven't actively sought out women who were older than me, the women I end up with almost always seem to be older than I am. I was only with one woman who was younger than me, and that by only 2 years. My first wife was 3 years older than me, and since then, my partners have ranged up to 17 years older than me. So sure, it's "ok," but as I grow older, it does tend to limit my prospects a bit.