Would you date a fat chick?

[Ðanisty]

Actually, I think I need to bring this point up again seperately. There's been a lot of talk in this thread about initial attraction vs coming to be attracted to someone in spite of what they look like. While that's all well and good, I kind of resent the fact that people seem to think that sort of thing is necessary for a fat chick to get a date. I have to say I've never been in a situation where someone had to learn to be attracted to me because they were in love with my personality; all the guys (and girls) who have dated me were very attracted to my body. They liked the extra cushion, so to speak.

I agree! I've never had to convince a guy to be attracted to me. Either he is or he isn't.

I'm probably really strange because of this, but nothing makes me happier than to see someone who is overweight out exercising. It really makes me smile every time I see it. I love it when people take control of their lives.

I don't think that's strange jonny, but there are a couple of things you should think about when you see it. Are they doing it to better themselves and take control of their lives? Are they happy or are they miserable? Also, what about all the fat people at home that have control over their lives? Going out and exercising isn't going to guarantee their happiness.

Did anyone see the recent study that shows that you are more likely to be fat if you hang around fat people? I thought that was interesting. I don't remember the reasoning it gave, but I'd assume it's because you tend to embrace the lifestyle of those who you are around. A lot of people are overweight because they have a lifestyle that causes them to be overweight.

Oh, I don't think this study has taken everything into account. From what I've seen, fat people tend to form friendships because of the hostility they feel elsewhere. The real lifestyle problem doesn't even come from fat people. It's the rest of you guys that can't manage to do anything fun without going to get something to eat or snacking. I've noticed thin people often accuse fat people of eating so much, but really, the thin people eat the same and just have the metabolism to counteract that. My husband could eat three times as much food as I do and not gain weight.

People need to eat a healthy diet and get a good amount of exercise. That's the key to a healthy lifestyle.

I agree, but a healthy lifestyle does not necessarily equate to being thin.

Seriously, though, every time I see a good-lookin', height/weight proportionate guy with an overweight girl I just think it's the most beautiful thing. I always think to myself, You go, girl!!

You must be cheering for a whole lot of military wives!

While I myself have never been overweight, my youngest sister is, and it hurts me to see how she perceives herself, that she thinks she is unattractive to men, when in reality she is gorgeous. She's got a beautiful face, long, dark, naturally curly hair, long black eyelashes (the kind that don't need mascara!)....she's a buxom babe! And she even had a little hottie show interest in her a while back. I remember her telling me she didn't understand why he liked her, because she saw herself as being ugly.

She was probably suspicious because of previous pranks played on her. That would be my guess because I've been through that. It takes awhile to get over it and realize that it's nothing but high school immaturity and that out in the real world, people don't have time for nonsense like that.

I think a lot of it has to do with the girl's personality and how confident she is in herself. I have another sister who is a little overweight, but she's still beautiful, and she's very, very confident in herself. And she gets tons of guys. I think my youngest sister doesn't get as many guys, not because she's heavy, but because of her lack of confidence and acceptance of herself. I think a lot of guys would be more attracted to a very confident, overweight girl, than one who is skinny and not confident in herself.

Confidence means a whole lot. I learned my confidence through rebellion, actually. I realized I was never going to be liked for being a quiet, normal looking fat girl...all I would ever get was ridicule from the popular crowd. I decided to do my own thing (which was goth before it became popular). I started getting real compliments from guys and started making friends on my own merit rather than who would be willing to hang out with me. Funny thing...all those popular people were losing their friends to me.

Input from some guys on this?

I would like to hear some male input too.

 

[Booko]

I have to be openly shallow like Random and say that I wouldn't date a dude who was obese. The thought of a squishy basketball between us in bed is not very appealing.

Overweight in men is not attractive to women who have a preference for the Missionary Position.

Breathing is kinda important.

 

[Buttercup]

Overweight in men is not attractive to women who have a preference for the Missionary Position.

Who says that's my preference?

 

[Booko]

A long time ago at work, a few females were talking (I was part of the group, but as usual did not say much). They asking each other if they would date or marry a bald man. They said no way (not me, I said I would, if he were nice). I suddenly became curious and asked them if the man went bald later down the line, would you leave him? One of the young ladies said yes. I was younger and still mean and told her I thought that was shallow. Sometimes I wonder if I said the wrong thing.

Bald men have higher testosterone levels.

I hope your coworker changes her tune somewhere down the line. Karma has a way of catching up, and she might end up marrying someone with the same attitude who will leave her when she fails to look like a trophy wife later on. :cover:

 

[Booko]

Who says that's my preference?

Twas but a general comment, Chimpy.

 

[Booko]

It depends. IMO, weight says alot about a persons personality. Anorexic and the grossly over weight, in my eyes, says the person really doesn't care much about there body.

Or quite possibly, it merely says they have a health problem that needs dealing with.

I never got the chance to fill out an application for how I'd look or feel at my age.

Some mischievous gnome must've checked the boxes that said "food allergies and heavy metal toxicity, please" and forged my name to the paper. :sarcastic

 

[Buttercup]

Twas but a general comment, Chimpy.

I know that fluffy one, it was a lame attempt at feral humor......my comment that is.

 

[Booko]

In my experience, "average" women are just as disgusted with the paradigm as anyone else - probably because no matter how skinny they are, they've still been programmed to focus on their flaws.

Yup. I was just as disgusted then as I am now.

Yes, all this is true. But I think you're underestimating just how many men find fat women very, very sexy.

Very true, Nanda. One of my best friend's husband only dated fat chicks. He grew up in a family where there was no physical contact at all, and I guess wanted to make sure he made up for lost time.

My friend's family has women that are either average or have Hashimoto's (dead thyroid) and are large. Well, guess she got the bum thyroid.

 

[Nanda]

Maybe people felt the freedom to say that because you mentioned you weren't attracted to your husband at first because of his weight.

Oh, I'm sure. I just felt the need to clarify.

 

[Nanda]

Very true, Nanda. One of my best friend's husband only dated fat chicks. He grew up in a family where there was no physical contact at all, and I guess wanted to make sure he made up for lost time.

He he.. Fat women are the nicest people to hug and cuddle with. Also, many of us are really, really good cooks. I hate when people think fat women are sad and pathetic. Most of the fat women I know personally are warm, caring, have great attitudes and an incredible zest for life.

 

[Lemon]

Aw, I think I'm that skinny girl everyone here finds disgusting...I'm a 95-pounder with bones poking out everywhere. Let me tell ya, skinny girls have problems finding clothes that fit too: I didn't even get to pick out my prom dress, I just went with the only size 0 they had.

But anyways, I don't judge people based on their weight. Now, would I date a guy who was overweight? Sure, why not? I don't see anything wrong with that, half the men I've been attracted to are overweight. Almost all of my girlfriends are large, and they are so beautiful. Sometimes I get jealous of them because being a skinny girl means having a boy figure, which sucks.

 

[Nanda]

Aw, I think I'm that skinny girl everyone here finds disgusting...I'm a 95-pounder with bones poking out everywhere. Let me tell ya, skinny girls have problems finding clothes that fit too: I didn't even get to pick out my prom dress, I just went with the only size 0 they had.

I don't think skinny women are disgusting. I would never put down another person because of their size - what kind of hypocrite would that make me?! :hug:

 

[dawny0826]

I've struggled with my weight since childhood and it's still an emotional (and physical) struggle for me but overall, I am happy with who I am as a person and am often times comfortable in my own skin until I'm reminded of the "society standard" of beauty.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard in my life the whole...

"You have the most beautiful face. If only you were thinner, we'd be perfect for each other" or "If you could lose fifty pounds, I'd so date you."

I was teased during my school years...labeled the "lesbian fat girl" because I am bi-sexual and fat. It's no fun when your sexuality and weight is exploited during a time in your life where you're trying very hard to make it day by day and fit in or at least try to blend in.

Trying on clothes is every bit the nightmare today as it was ten years ago and I ABHORE the fact that clothing designers and distributers aren't more flexible when it comes to plus size clothing. I live in an area, the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, where staistically, we've got quite a "plus size" population. I'm not proud of this fact but you'd think...when you've got the supply and demand going on for plus size clothing, you'd be able to find a greater selection of plus size clothing. I've gone to try on clothes and have sat down and cried in the dressing room because MY SIZE is simply NOT my size. It's either two sizes too large and envelopes me like a burlap sack or it's two sizes too small.

It's depressing. I can be in wonderful spirits and then I go shopping and it's like..."Gee, everything sucks."

Purchasing my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. For one, the entire wedding party, (minus me) combined were a smaller dress size and the sales reps outwardly treated me less cordial than did they did all the skinny folk in the party. It was degrading and I was so irritated at the end of the fittings, I wanted to compose many hate notes...expressing my desire to boycott wedding attire FOREVER!

They simply didn't carry larger sizes and for the life of me, I don't understand why. Are fat women not supposed to enjoy life and participate in weddings? Are pregnant women not supposed to enjoy life and participate in formal events because good grief...there were even FEWER selections for the pregnant bridesmaid. I think it's ridiculous and unfair.

I spent way more on my stupid dress and then paid big bucks to have it altered by someone else.

The definition of beautiful is NOT runway thin. Though I've fantasized of being runway thin...it's just not in the cards for me and I shouldn't be made to feel like less of a human being because my definition of beauty is a shorter and rounder version of "runway".

I'm fat but I take GREAT care on a daily basis to look as good as I can not because I necessarily care what others think of me but because it makes me feel good to know that my roots aren't showing, that I smell nice and that my makeup looks hot. I'm VERY much into hygiene and actually enjoy certain types of exercises. (Bellydancing, especially. )

I married a man who loves me for me and always has. I'm overweight. He's not. He's very tall and has always been thin and we have two beautiful little girls together and although we're human and we have our ups and downs, we're happy and blessed.

I think beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. And I'm just tired of seeing the same thing over and over again in magazines. I truly hope to see more and more overweight models and actresses take center stage and I'd like to see more clothing/fashion companies reach out to REALLY serve plus size individuals.

And I think people just need to think before they make degrading statements to others. I don't think people realize what an impact their words can have on the lives of others. I certainly wouldn't fault someone for not being attracted to an overweight or obese individual but to go out of your way to treat that individual as less of a person because of their appearance is shallow and mean.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Yes, all this is true. But I think you're underestimating just how many men find fat women very, very sexy.

:yes: Indeed!

As long as my partner can keep up with me in the woods, I'm happy.

 

[standing_alone]

And I think people just need to think before they make degrading statements to others. I don't think people realize what an impact their words can have on the lives of others. I certainly wouldn't fault someone for not being attracted to an overweight or obese individual but to go out of your way to treat that individual as less of a person because of their appearance is shallow and mean.

This is so very true and I find it really sad. A little over six months ago, I was 5'3'' and about 180-185lbs; now I'm 5'3'' and about 140-145lbs. As I lost weight, I noticed how people treated me differently; treated me much more kindly and politely. As if I didn't have enough reasons to be cynical about the human race before I lost weight, I did after. The more weight I lost, the more like a human being I was treated and the more love and respect I was shown by those around me (it made it easier for me to understand how people can develop eating disorders). It was funny how just a few months ago, I was unnoticable (or worse) to most people, but then all of a sudden I was good enough. But that's society.

I see how society's silly and superficial standards rub off on people and I find it depressing. I know a girl who is over-weight, but one of the damn nicest people I know and it's sad that she doesn't realize she is an attractive person just because society tells her she's worthless because she is over-weight. It makes me angry that some stupid societal standard could make someone fail to realize what a beautiful person she is.

But yeah, to answer the OP: Sure, I'd date a "fat chick"--and totally agree, "fat chicks" are the nicest to cuddle with.

 

[Buttercup]

Bald men have higher testosterone levels.

Is this really true?

 

[Kungfuzed]

Good thing you warned us...lol.

Yes, we care. Yes we like men. Yes, we're very interested in getting a date. Yes, we are disgusted with the paradigm. That doesn't mean we're disgusted with men though. It's the nasty competitiveness with other chicks that usually makes us through our hands in the air and say to hell with it. Really, I think the truth is that fat chicks would be in better shape if there was more support overall and I don't mean that superficial support that's so popular. I've known guys who probably would have dated me if some of my thinner "friends" hadn't jumped all over them as soon as they found out I was interested. Do you know how many women out there are friends with fat chicks just so they feel better about themselves and improve their own chances? Let me just say it's a disgustingly high number. :sarcastic

I had no idea it was like that. I learned something new today.

There are a lot of factors to be sure. You can't deny though that being treated as sub-human leads obese people to fall further into depression, leading to even more weight gain. Is it so much to ask that we're treated like people? I really don't care if people like me or not, but I do expected to be treated fairly.

I have one more sweeping generalization to make. Everybody needs love.

 

[Smoke]

Depends on what you mean by fat. I've dated both women and men who were overweight, and even technically obese, and that's not a problem for me at all. However, I wouldn't date somebody who was really grossly obese.

Maybe most people have an ideal, which varies from person to person, but the better you carry yourself, and the better your personality is, or the more fun you are, or the more interesting you are, or whatever does it for that person, the more you can deviate from that "ideal" and still be attractive.

The best comments I've read on this subject were made years ago by Jean Kerr:

They take one look at Twiggy and blanch and then make sweeping statements like "Well, if Twiggy is In, then I'm Out." Frankly, I think they are lowering themselves. I contain myself and avoid such remarks. In this I am immeasurably aided by the certain knowledge that I wasn't exactly In when Mae West was In, so what does it matter to me who comes and goes?
​

And:

In a marriage there is nothing that stales so fast as physical beauty -- as we readers of Modern Screen have observed. What actually holds a husband through thick and thick is a girl who is fun to be with. And any girl who has had nothing to eat since nine o'clock this morning but three hard-boiled eggs will be about as jolly and companionable as an income-tax inspector.

So I say, ladies, find out why women everywhere are switching from old-fashioned diets to the modern way: no exercise, no dangerous drugs, no weight loss. (And what do they mean, "ugly fat"? It's you, isn't it?) For that tired, run-down feeling, try eating three full meals a day with a candy bar after dinner and pizza at eleven o'clock. ... All of your friends will say, "Oh, Blanche is a mess, the size of a house, but he's crazy about her, just crazy about her!"
​

 

[Nanda]

This is so very true and I find it really sad. A little over six months ago, I was 5'3'' and about 180-185lbs; now I'm 5'3'' and about 140-145lbs. As I lost weight, I noticed how people treated me differently; treated me much more kindly and politely. As if I didn't have enough reasons to be cynical about the human race before I lost weight, I did after. The more weight I lost, the more like a human being I was treated and the more love and respect I was shown by those around me (it made it easier for me to understand how people can develop eating disorders). It was funny how just a few months ago, I was unnoticable (or worse) to most people, but then all of a sudden I was good enough. But that's society.

I've taken to responding to "You've lost weight, haven't you? You look good." with "Oh, thank you. So I looked like sh** before?"

 

[Smoke]

I've taken to responding to "You've lost weight, haven't you? You look good." with "Oh, thank you. So I looked like sh** before?"

One of my co-workers has lost a lot of weight over the last six months or so; she went from a size 18 to a size 10, and she likes getting compliments about the difference.

But her husband says he liked her better as a size 18.