I have just gone through your thread on here and if I may, I'd like to comment on these points....sorry its so long but I wanted to condense your thoughts into one post.
So it appears that you need a better definition of "perfect" and "holy", if an imperfect human is to imitate God.
The Greek words rendered “holy” (
haʹgi·os) and “holiness” (
ha·gi·a·smosʹ ha·gi·oʹtes; ha·gi·o·syʹne) denote separation to God; they also are used to refer to holiness as a quality of God and to purity or perfection in one’s personal conduct, as in abiding by God's moral laws.
This is telling me something about your ability to control yourself and your actions. Its as if your mind and body are under separate commanders. This, to all intents and purposes, may very well be an OCD issue. Your mind simply cannot control your actions. Has anyone ever suggested this to you? Do you have compulsions at times that are impossible for you to avoid happening?
Affirmation, both positive and negative, can influence our actions.
If you tell yourself you "can't" do something then you probably won't.
Jesus was perfect. There is an example. Imitate him and you can't go wrong....but none of us can do so perfectly.
Jesus taught us to "keep asking...keep seeking...keep knocking" and the door will be opened to us. (Luke 11:9)
Our behavior determines whether that door will open.
@dybmh asked....
"Does your lack of belief in free-will effect your behavior? Are you less likely to take responsibility for hurting peoples feelings or do you lack impulse control?
Though not addressed to you personally, I believe that this is pertinent. Do
you think you lack impulse control?
That is a medically recognized condition. Understanding it could help you deal with it in a more effective way than just being constantly disappointed in yourself.....how frustrating!
Without free will, the command in the Garden of Eden concerning the eating of the forbidden fruit would have been meaningless....the penalty also would have been meaningless....it was about choices and consequences....it still is. God predestines very little. He is more concerned with reacting to our use of free will.
The Bible gives us the incentive.....hate what God hates. If you don't hate it, you will be more inclined to do it.
But OCD does not allow you that choice.....you will do what you hate and lament the fact that you did it. It means a constant beating up on yourself.....that is what your life sounds like. I have a dear friend who suffers with this and its a daily struggle. I think I understand what you mean.
To ease your mind...there is no fiery furnace. "Hellfire" was an invention of the Catholic Church to scare their flocks into submission. It is not taught in the Bible at all....but you will find it in many pagan religions.
You seem to be very misinformed about sin and sinners. God wants to forgive, not condemn....but we have to give him something to bless. Failure is what we all face at times....we all sin, but we have the assurance of God's forgiveness. When a person suffers with OCD, the obsessive compulsions make no sense to anyone, not even to the person experiencing them. God knows the difference between wickedness and the weaknesses cause by our imperfections. He is not an ogre, but a loving God who does not want to condemn anyone.
If you are trying your best, then what more can God ask of anyone? My best may not be your best....your best may not be someone else's. We are all judged individually.
That is an interesting admission....."doing things against all thought or reason, which could possibly have the end result of going to the nut hut?"
Why does obeying the laws of God require you to do things against your reason?
You are supposed to surrender your will to God's. People of good moral character can do that with very little effort....but those who cannot control their own will, would find it almost impossible. That is what makes me think you have OCD. You aren't wicked...you are at the mercy of a medical condition if that's the case.
Solitude is good sometimes, but too much allows one to become too absorbed in one's own thoughts.
The fact that you feel a responsibility not to offend anyone shows you at least have good intentions.
I believe that the majority of people who are educated by those in Christendom, have a complete misconception of God.
And its a good one...we all need to find purpose to our being in order to satisfy that need in us...the one that wants to make our life count for something...even if its just being a good friend or a wise parent, passing along accumulated knowledge to our children. We don't have to be rich or famous to make our lives count for something.
There is no eternal fire.....God has no intention of roasting people alive...why would he?
What are your thoughts after reading this? Again, sorry its so long....