Am I the only one who thinks that most humans on this planet seem to place more value on the mere duration of a marriage or relationship than they do on the quality of a marriage or relationship?
We so often say things like we wish to live "happily ever after", but then in so many ways great and small we seem to show that our primary goal is to merely live together for "ever after", rather than to live happily. For instance -- just one example -- so very many people seem to feel that divorce is always for the worse, just as if there could be no such thing as a marriage that was really worth dissolving.
Moreover, there seems to be almost no concept in the popular mind of there being any value in getting into a relationship with someone unless you believe that relationship has the potential to last forever. Who among us honestly thinks knowingly entering into a relatively short term relationship can be a positive thing? And yet, if we believed the quality of the relationship was more important than the mere duration, wouldn't we see such short term relationships as at least sometimes desirable?
To place more emphasis on the duration of a marriage or relationship than the quality of a marriage or relationship is, basically, an argument for quantity over quality. Which usually seems to me a foolish argument.
I think the whole duration over quality mentality is a hideous throwback to the dark ages when loveless marriages were arranged between couples for the purposes of financial stability, social status, and procreation. Back then, it was your duty to get married, and you certainly did not do so for love, for personal growth, or any other such reason. Of course duration mattered more than quality back then! How could it not?
Living happily ever after. Most people won't accomplish that even if they think it's the only way to go. So why idealize it?
[/rant]
Comments? Objections? Questions? Mouth frothing rants?
We so often say things like we wish to live "happily ever after", but then in so many ways great and small we seem to show that our primary goal is to merely live together for "ever after", rather than to live happily. For instance -- just one example -- so very many people seem to feel that divorce is always for the worse, just as if there could be no such thing as a marriage that was really worth dissolving.
Moreover, there seems to be almost no concept in the popular mind of there being any value in getting into a relationship with someone unless you believe that relationship has the potential to last forever. Who among us honestly thinks knowingly entering into a relatively short term relationship can be a positive thing? And yet, if we believed the quality of the relationship was more important than the mere duration, wouldn't we see such short term relationships as at least sometimes desirable?
To place more emphasis on the duration of a marriage or relationship than the quality of a marriage or relationship is, basically, an argument for quantity over quality. Which usually seems to me a foolish argument.
I think the whole duration over quality mentality is a hideous throwback to the dark ages when loveless marriages were arranged between couples for the purposes of financial stability, social status, and procreation. Back then, it was your duty to get married, and you certainly did not do so for love, for personal growth, or any other such reason. Of course duration mattered more than quality back then! How could it not?
Living happily ever after. Most people won't accomplish that even if they think it's the only way to go. So why idealize it?
[/rant]
Comments? Objections? Questions? Mouth frothing rants?