Is there a clear distinction between being straight or gay?

[sandandfoam]

I'm a man. I've never met a man that I fancy but I imagine it is possible.

For those who have a problem with homosexuality -How could you know that you'll never fancy someone of the same sex?
Why did it occur to you in the first place?

 

[sandandfoam]

Sorry about the extra 'being' in the title. My hetrosexuality caused a lapse in concentration - Trying to balance a baby and type !! hahahaha

 

[Magic Man]

I'm a man. I've never met a man that I fancy but I imagine it is possible.

For those who have a problem with homosexuality -How could you know that you'll never fancy someone of the same sex?
Why did it occur to you in the first place?

I think that the people who have a problem with homosexuality are the ones who are not sure that they are straight. I personally don't rule out fancying another man. I never have, and it's hard for me to imagine it ever happening, but anything's possible. Men just don't have attractive qualities to me. I can't even tell whether a man is good-looking or not on my own.

 

[sandandfoam]

How do gay people feel about the same question? Do you think it is possible that you could fancy someone of the opposite sex?

 

[Green Gaia]

Is being there a clear distinction between being straight or gay?

I would say for most people there is a clear distinction, but some people find their sexuality more fluid or don't seem to get caught up in labeling themselves. I love women, but I don't get bent out of shape if a handsome man happens to turn my head. I can recognize beauty when I see it because I know that I don't want to a have sex with the guy just because he's pretty.

 

[Magic Man]

I can recognize beauty when I see it because I know that I don't want to a have sex with the guy just because he's pretty.

You obviously haven't seen me then.

 

[Mike182]

i certainly can't say i've never been attracted to a woman, but it is incredibly rare that i see a woman who steals my eye for a few seconds. way too many guys steal my eye for more than a few seconds though, so i'm fairly sure that i'm gay lol.

 

[3.14]

if you don't have clear distinction your bi

 

[tomspug]

if you don't have clear distinction your bi

This is so incorrect. If someone is sexually ambivalent, you don't automatically label them 'bi-sexual'. The way we categorize people is crude and insulting.

What if someone was sexually abused? That would certainly bring up hesitations towards sex. Some people are naturally uncomfortable about sex. These things don't qualify them as NOT BEING HETEROSEXUAL.

It's so stupid to say that confused = bisexual. That is the 100% wrong answer.

This is the problem I have with our current view of sexuality. We want to put it into four little boxes (hetero, homo, bi, trans) when in reality the latter two are hardly consistent, if at all. Why isn't it possible, as Stephen is possibly suggesting, that it is POSSIBLE for most people to swing one way or the other.

Say you're a man, isolated from women for 20 YEARS! Does that not increase the chance that he will find himself attracted to men? And if a girl grows up with a strong father and is blessed with having extremely positive relationships with boys, does that not make it more likely that she will not consider homosexuality as an option?

I'm not arguing against whether or not sexuality is genetic (of course it is, to a degree)(although now we have seven-year-olds saying they are homosexual, which is stupid and doesn't make sense). I'm arguing that environment CERTAINLY is a huge factor in whether or not homosexuality is considered. Consideration does indeed play a huge role in whether or not someone adopts a homosexual lifestyle.

So with that in mind, how do you know that you (if you are a heterosexual) would never at any point consider homosexuality? And even if you think you know the answer, how do you know that, if your life had been different, you might answer differently?

 

[sandandfoam]

I have no frubals left at the moment Tom but that is a fantastic post.

 

[Magic Man]

This is so incorrect. If someone is sexually ambivalent, you don't automatically label them 'bi-sexual'. The way we categorize people is crude and insulting.

What if someone was sexually abused? That would certainly bring up hesitations towards sex. Some people are naturally uncomfortable about sex. These things don't qualify them as NOT BEING HETEROSEXUAL.

It's so stupid to say that confused = bisexual. That is the 100% wrong answer.

This is the problem I have with our current view of sexuality. We want to put it into four little boxes (hetero, homo, bi, trans) when in reality the latter two are hardly consistent, if at all. Why isn't it possible, as Stephen is possibly suggesting, that it is POSSIBLE for most people to swing one way or the other.

Say you're a man, isolated from women for 20 YEARS! Does that not increase the chance that he will find himself attracted to men? And if a girl grows up with a strong father and is blessed with having extremely positive relationships with boys, does that not make it more likely that she will not consider homosexuality as an option?

I'm not arguing against whether or not sexuality is genetic (of course it is, to a degree)(although now we have seven-year-olds saying they are homosexual, which is stupid and doesn't make sense). I'm arguing that environment CERTAINLY is a huge factor in whether or not homosexuality is considered. Consideration does indeed play a huge role in whether or not someone adopts a homosexual lifestyle.

So with that in mind, how do you know that you (if you are a heterosexual) would never at any point consider homosexuality? And even if you think you know the answer, how do you know that, if your life had been different, you might answer differently?

Do you think bisexuality or homosexuality is bad? This makes it sound like it. I can't understand getting so upset over it if it's not a bad thing. I don't see bisexuality as bad, so labelling someone as that is only about describing their preference. It is not a judgement. It's like saying that I'm an atheist. It just describes my thoughts on religion. Some take it as a bad thing, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't call myself an atheist just because of what some people might think.

I don't think it's crude or insulting to categorize someone as bisexual if that person is attracted to both genders. It's merely descriptive. Some people will see it as bad, but that's their problem. If you stop categorizing people as bisexuals because they are attracted to both genders, then you need to stop categorizing people by religion, or political affiliation, etc.

 

[sandandfoam]

Do you think bisexuality or homosexuality is bad? This makes it sound like it.

That's not what I got from Tom's post. The opposite in fact.

 

[Magic Man]

That's not what I got from Tom's post. The opposite in fact.

I just mean what's the big deal with calling someone bisexual if you don't think that's a bad thing? He goes off on calling someone bisexual and explains how they could have gotten that way, as if calling them that was an insult. The original comment was that anyone who doesn't distinguish between men and women regarding sexual attraction is bisexual. There is nothing wrong with that, but Tom calls it 100% wrong, and acts like he just called a black guy the "N" word.

 

[Booko]

I have no frubals left at the moment Tom but that is a fantastic post.

I did the honours for you, Stephen.

Just to throw another wrench in the thread, my favorite masseuse is lesbian....except she was born a hermaphrodite (tends to run in her family I gather).

So...is she gay or straight?

How would we ever know, since her parents decided her gender for her when she was too know to know how she felt about it?

 

[Green Gaia]

if you don't have clear distinction your bi

Not necessarily. Bisexual is just a label some choose to use to describe themselves when they are attracted to both genders. If forced to label myself the most accurate label would be lesbian, but that wasn't always the case. At one time I called myself bisexual, and even further back in my sordid past I would have told you I was heterosexual *gasp!*. No one else can tell you what your orientation is and no one else should try to label others bi, gay, lesbian, straight or anything else.

 

[+Xausted]

I just mean what's the big deal with calling someone bisexual if you don't think that's a bad thing? He goes off on calling someone bisexual and explains how they could have gotten that way, as if calling them that was an insult. The original comment was that anyone who doesn't distinguish between men and women regarding sexual attraction is bisexual. There is nothing wrong with that, but Tom calls it 100% wrong, and acts like he just called a black guy the "N" word.

although i agree with most of what you are saying, i do think that you have maybe over reacted again...time of the month for ya again?

 

[Magic Man]

although i agree with most of what you are saying, i do think that you have maybe over reacted again...time of the month for ya again?

I don't think my response was over or above the reaction that Tom gave. (And you do realize that I'm the one on your left in the pic I posted in the thread, right? )

 

[+Xausted]

I don't think my response was over or above the reaction that Tom gave.

oh well, just must be the way i read it then
(And you do realize that I'm the one on your left in the pic I posted in the thread, right? )

yes.....???????????????????/and your point is monkey boy?

 

[tomspug]

My reasoning was that, basically, you don't just call someone 'bisexual' if they are confused. I'm not saying that bisexuality isn't a gender. I'm just saying that you can't label something ambiguous by using concrete terminoligy. "I don't know" does not equal "I swing both ways, baby".

 

[Magic Man]

My reasoning was that, basically, you don't just call someone 'bisexual' if they are confused. I'm not saying that bisexuality isn't a gender. I'm just saying that you can't label something ambiguous by using concrete terminoligy. "I don't know" does not equal "I swing both ways, baby".

OK. Things do change, as others here have said, but until you pick one or the other (or possibly you don't, you just stick with both), I don't see what's wrong with using bisexual. To me, it's just means you don't prefer one gender over the other, which is what you're saying when you say "I don't know". Someone might be heterosexual and then become homosexual, but you wouldn't have been wrong to call them heterosexual before they were homosexual.