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Worst things to hear from your kids

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Laika, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. Laika

    Laika Well-Known Member
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    Assume for a moment that you have children, what are the worst things they could say to you or ask you:

    "Dad, is having sex with a sheep consensual?"
     
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  2. Rival

    Rival Noahide
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    'Dad are you a police officer?'
     
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  3. KAT-KAT

    KAT-KAT Well-Known Member
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    Reading about Hinduism
    "I want to try haggis."
     
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  4. dybmh

    dybmh Kosher-Style Clown
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    I don't need birth control right, Dad?
     
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  5. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    Mom!
    I used your credit card on the internet to book a flight to Turkey and a bus ticket to Syria. I'm getting married!
    Tom
     
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  6. BSM1

    BSM1 What? Me worry?

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    True story:
    Many years ago my 14 year old son asked me how long you can go without eating. It just so happened that, at the time, an IRA prisoner on a hunger strike went 64 days without eating before he died from starvation. When I told my son this he got very quite. Then he looked at me and said, "I bet I can beat that..." I went out that afternoon and spent his college fund.
     
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  7. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    "Dad, remember that car you lent me?"
     
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  8. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
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    Happened a few times here...
     
  9. dybmh

    dybmh Kosher-Style Clown
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    You mean those 900 numbers aren't free, Dad?

    ( not sure if anyone remembers those XXX adult phone call lines that started in the early 80s In the U.S. )

    But many of my friends ( and my older brother got caught up in that as an adolescent.) And parents didn't find out till they got an extra long multi-page phone bill with many many many minutes of these 900 number charges on it.
     
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  10. Heyo

    Heyo Active Member

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    A postcard from summer camp:

    "Dear mommy, dear daddy,

    it's very nice here. The weather is fine and I've made a lot of great friends.
    Say, what is an "epidemic"?

    love, Sam."
     
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  11. Earthtank

    Earthtank Active Member

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    Worst thing possible is my son saying he thinks he's a girl or wants to identify as one :sob:
     
  12. Father Heathen

    Father Heathen Veteran Member

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    Baiting, are we?
     
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  13. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    Really?
    That's worse than "Dad, I'm in the hospital. I ODed on heroin and fentynal. I wish I were dead!

    Boy, you're a Christian parent. Yuck.
    Tom
     
  14. Skwim

    Skwim Veteran Member

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    No less so then yoking oxen to a plow, harnessing sled dogs to run in the dead of winter, or driving horses around a race track with a whip. In fact, I can see having sex with sheep to be far less disturbing to sheep than any of these three. Heck, they may even enjoy it. :shrug:

    .
     
  15. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    Syphilis, anyone?
     
  16. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    You can get syphilis from sheep?

    I never had reason to know that.
    Tom
     
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  17. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    “Uncle ___’s peepee is pretty big’.

    (I can’t even write the rest)

    That’s the worst!
     
  18. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    There’s been some related speculation on its origins....


    “Syphilis also came to humans from cattle or sheep many centuries ago, possibly sexually ....”

    STIs - Sexually Transmitted Infections | ari.info | ari.info


    “Therefore, the term 'syphilis' was introduced by Girolamo Fracastoro, a poet and medical personality in Verona. His work “Syphilis sive Morbus Gallicus” (1530) encompasses three books and presents a character named Syphilus, who was a shepherd leading the flocks of King Alcihtous, a character from Greek mythology. ....”

    Brief History of Syphilis
     
  19. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Right wing fabrication regurgitator...so they say.
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    "I don't like Indian food."

    That actually happened.
     
  20. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    Dang.
    You know a lot about syphilis.

    I never really needed to be so educated on the subject.
    Tom
     
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