Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam?

[Fatihah]

I'm not sure if this has been brought up (some posts have been removed and I haven't carefully read through every page here) but what of this?

Muhammad's sunnah (practice) was polygamy, the Qur'an instructs about polygamy, and there are Muslim leaders in the West who want polygamy. Islam is then a polygamist religion.
In Islam a man is allowed multiple wives and an unlimited number of slave girls.

And those (men) who preserve their chastity Save with their wives and those whom their right hands possess, for thus they are not blameworthy. (Qur'an 70:29-30, Pickthall)​

However, while Muhammad had many wives and slaves girls, and taught this in the Qur'an, he would only allow his son-in-law, Ali, to have one wife. Why? Because Ali was married to Muhammad's daughter, Fatima.

Narrated Al-Miswar bin Makhrama: I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, "Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me." (Bukhari: volume 7, book 62, number 157, Khan)​

What hypocrisy!
Polygamy is fundamentally different to monogamy. In a monogamous marriage the man and women both promise to be sexually faithful to each other and to bind themselves to each other alone. However, in a polygamous marriage only the woman is bound to the man and must be sexually faithful to him. The man is free to keep looking for other women. Polygamy completely changes the way a man thinks about women and what it means to be faithful to them.

Response: First and foremost, islam does not allow unlimited slave girls. As far as the hadith is concerned, in islam, one should marry a co-wife if the woman is in "need." Meaning, that the woman has no other means to support herself, not that a man can freely roam the earth and marry whom he pleases. Coming to the hadith, it says that the prophet hates what his daughter would hate, meaning that she would not like the idea of a co-wife. So the prophet's disapproval of the marriage is not unfair because the main principle of polygamy is for it to be agreed upon and should be to the liking of the wife as well. If the wife does not like it, one should not do it. This is the case for any muslimah, whether related to the prophet or not. The wife herself should consent to it as well. In the case of the hadith mentioned, since Fatimah did not consent, then and and then, does the prophet say that he will not marry them.

 

[Aquitaine]

Response: First and foremost, islam does not allow unlimited slave girls. As far as the hadith is concerned, in islam, one should marry a co-wife if the woman is in "need." Meaning, that the woman has no other means to support herself, not that a man can freely roam the earth and marry whom he pleases. Coming to the hadith, it says that the prophet hates what his daughter would hate, meaning that she would not like the idea of a co-wife. So the prophet's disapproval of the marriage is not unfair because the main principle of polygamy is for it to be agreed upon and should be to the liking of the wife as well. If the wife does not like it, one should not do it. This is the case for any muslimah, whether related to the prophet or not. The wife herself should consent to it as well. In the case of the hadith mentioned, since Fatimah did not consent, then and and then, does the prophet say that he will not marry them.

To "marry" a Woman is a Hell of a lot different than "Helping" one. If a Woman needed by "help" (and that help was defined as financial and shelter support etc), I could "help" her without having to marry her. To marry her, it becomes more intimate, and married people tend to sleep together, kiss, have sex, have kids etc etc. But none of that is neccessary for helping a Woman's Economic stablility.

If a Woman has no home, no job, and no food who needs my help, I can give her a room in my house, along with access all the aspects of the house (like food, water, electricity etc). Help her find a job and start earning her own money, and then finally help her find a new house of her own and move on - none of that, at all involves me having to marry her.

Also, what if you've already got 4 Wives? You cannot marry another one, so then what're you gonna do?

 

[Fatihah]

To "marry" a Woman is a Hell of a lot different than "Helping" one. If a Woman needed by "help" (and that help was defined as financial and shelter support etc), I could "help" her without having to marry her. To marry her, it becomes more intimate, and married people tend to sleep together, kiss, have sex, have kids etc etc. But none of that is neccessary for helping a Woman's Economic stablility.

If a Woman has no home, no job, and no food who needs my help, I can give her a room in my house, along with access all the aspects of the house (like food, water, electricity etc). Help her find a job and start earning her own money, and then finally help her find a new house of her own and move on - none of that, at all involves me having to marry her.

Also, what if you've already got 4 Wives? You cannot marry another one, so then what're you gonna do?

Response: "Help" can be different from "marry" but to "marry" is also a to "help". The way you choose to help is your business. Also, if one has 4 wives, thereby not being able to marry another, than she should marry a mam who can take another wife if necessary.

 

[EtuMalku]

Personally, I'm not buying it. It all sounds like excuses for sexism to me.

 

[Aquitaine]

Response: "Help" can be different from "marry" but to "marry" is also a to "help".

That's not entirely true, in fact, that is merely an opinion. Hypothetically, if I needed "help", would you marry (or consider) marrying me? I doubt it.

Also, if one has 4 wives, thereby not being able to marry another, than she should marry a mam who can take another wife if necessary.

But didn't you flame me a while back because I said I would not marry a Woman in "need" of my "help"? So arn't you just doing the same (if you've already got 4 Wives)? Also, you can still "help" her, after all, you don't need to marry her to help her economically etc.

 

[Fatihah]

That's not entirely true, in fact, that is merely an opinion. Hypothetically, if I needed "help", would you marry (or consider) marrying me? I doubt it.



Response: It is rather your opinion that it's a matter of opinion. And no, I would not marry you.

(Quote Paul Rusco)

But didn't you flame me a while back because I said I would not marry a Woman in "need" of my "help"? So arn't you just doing the same (if you've already got 4 Wives)? Also, you can still "help" her, after all, you don't need to marry her to help her economically etc.(End quote)

Response: Yes, you did say that you would not marry a woman if it was needed. However, my marriage to the woman in the example is not needed because she can marry someone else. So it's not saying the same.

 

[Aquitaine]

Response: It is rather your opinion that it's a matter of opinion. And no, I would not marry you.

There is no objective value that link "marry" with "help", yes marriage can be a form of help, if one deems it so, but it's entirely subjective, depending on one's concept of "marriage" and "help".

Response: Yes, you did say that you would not marry a woman if it was needed. However, my marriage to the woman in the example is not needed because she can marry someone else. So it's not saying the same.

Two things:

1) Why is it different from mine? If a Woman needed my "help", I would "help" her, but it wouldn't involve marriage. So therefore I wouldn't marry her. You, would also not marry her, how is it different?

2) Okay then, let's make my example the same - I don't have to marry her either, because she can marry someone else, so how are we different, and why did you flame me for taking the same action as you?

 

[Fatihah]

[QUOTE Paul Rusco]


Two things:

1) Why is it different from mine? If a Woman needed my "help", I would "help" her, but it wouldn't involve marriage. So therefore I wouldn't marry her. You, would also not marry her, how is it different?



Response: The difference is she is not in need of me. Whereas if marriage was needed, you would not help her.

(Quote Paul Rusco)
2) Okay then, let's make my example the same - I don't have to marry her either, because she can marry someone else, so how are we different, and why did you flame me for taking the same action as you?(End quote)

Response: Because you didn't take the same action. You said you would not marry if it was needed. Why would you sit back and watch another woman suffer? What's your religion and why do you follow such an injust practice?

 

[MissAlice]

Personally, I'm not buying it. It all sounds like excuses for sexism to me.

I agree looking through this whole thread.

Thus so far, I have seen no good explanation or example in why men have "divine" rights over women and children or why they should be treated nothing more than breeding machines that're "inherently" dependent for the most part.

I'm not even going to begin to argue on this thread since I'm already seeing a redundant pattern of phalicious "reasoning"....

 

[Fatihah]

[QUOTE Paul Rusco]


Two things:

1) Why is it different from mine? If a Woman needed my "help", I would "help" her, but it wouldn't involve marriage. So therefore I wouldn't marry her. You, would also not marry her, how is it different?



Response: The difference is she is not in need of me. Whereas if marriage was needed, you would not help her.

(Quote Paul Rusco)
2) Okay then, let's make my example the same - I don't have to marry her either, because she can marry someone else, so how are we different, and why did you flame me for taking the same action as you?(End quote)

Response: Because you didn't take the same action. You said you would not marry if it was needed. Why would you sit back and watch another woman suffer? What's your religion and why do you follow such an injust practice?

 

[Aquitaine]

Response: The difference is she is not in need of me. Whereas if marriage was needed, you would not help her.

There we go again..... who defines what her "needs" are and whether or not she "needs" marriage? I've already given you examples of how I could help her, without resorting to marriage. Also, her marriage to you can still be deemed as "needed", even if you had 4 Wives, "need" is defined on a subjective level, there nothing stopping her from "needing" to marry you and become the 5th Wife. After all, Mo' had 13 of them.

Response: Because you didn't take the same action. You said you would not marry if it was needed. Why would you sit back and watch another woman suffer? What's your religion and why do you follow such an injust practice?

I would'nt marry her, nor would I watch her suffer on purpose, marriage doesn't neccesarily - help. If you had 4 Wives, you deem her not in "need" of marrying you, that right there is the same action I'd take (except I'd do it even if I'm single). Still, it doesn't mean I'd sit back and watch her suffer, I could still share my house, food, gas & electricity with her, and help her find a job and a Husband/partner etc.

Don't presume that my rejection of marriage = sit back and watch her suffer. Especially when you'd do the exact same thing (if you had 4 Wives).

 

[rcscwc]

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.
This explains whyHindus are more polygynous than Muslims
The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

So many Hindu personalities had multiple wives. But what does it prove? It proves that polygamy was an accepted practice. But then it was so in every culture.

It is only muslims who want polygamy as their HUMAN RIGHT. Show me any other major religions whose floowers want this right. NONE.

Hmmm. You quoted Dashrath, but Rama had just one wife.

But one thing. Hindu kings never had anything like a harems of muslim rulers which were stocked by abducted or captured women.

 

[Fatihah]

I would'nt marry her, nor would I watch her suffer on purpose, marriage doesn't neccesarily - help. If you had 4 Wives, you deem her not in "need" of marrying you, that right there is the same action I'd take (except I'd do it even if I'm single). Still, it doesn't mean I'd sit back and watch her suffer, I could still share my house, food, gas & electricity with her, and help her find a job and a Husband/partner etc.

Don't presume that my rejection of marriage = sit back and watch her suffer. Especially when you'd do the exact same thing (if you had 4 Wives).

Response: It's not a presumption when when you've clearly said that you would not marry a woman if it's needed. Tell us, why would you let a woman suffer. What belief system told you this was o.k.?

 

[syberpriend]

the question is, is only Islam which allow polygamy? wat about other religions?

 

[Aquitaine]

Response: It's not a presumption when when you've clearly said that you would not marry a woman if it's needed. Tell us, why would you let a woman suffer. What belief system told you this was o.k.?

No, you are presuming. I would not be "letting the Woman suffer" by not marrying her. In relation to the scenario, you've gotta think what would she be suffering from?

Me, you and not4me had a debate like this before, we imagined a war scenario, where the Husband is dead, and the Wife needs shelter and food etc.

All those things can be provided for, without marriage or love:

Hungry? Share my fridge.
Thirsty? Share my Water.
Injured? I'd take you to the hospital, or if not, share my First-Aid kit.
Need a place to sleep? Share my spare room.
Need money? I'll help you get a job.

Etc, etc.

But I won't marry you, because you have to love someone you marry, and just because someone is in trouble doesn't mean Marriage is the solution: otherwise Aid workers in Africa would be giving the starving people.......... Marriage. LOL!

 

[MissAlice]

The subject of polygamy probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't a silly justification and means for controlling women.

In this case, I see it as such since this party tips in the favor for the man but not the woman...

 

[Gharib]

The subject of polygamy probably wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't a silly justification and means for controlling women.

In this case, I see it as such since this party tips in the favor for the man but not the woman...

there is no silly justification. what do you find silly about the idea. and do you even know what men are allowed to marry more than one woman?

and just so you know, polygamy is for the women, for their best interests. not to satisfy men.

one more question, do you know the islamic ruling on this, when and how is a man allowed to have more tha one wife? what if the wife opposes, do you know all that?

 

[MissAlice]

It isn't just Islam, many abrahamic religions give rights to men having more than one wife. I'm not going to get into deep of this thread since I can hardly take half of it serious.

One thing I do notice is that it's specifically allowed for men but not women in Islam. So therefore I think it silly....

There's a lot of disturbing stuff about Muhammed and his 9 wives one of which who had not even hit puberty yet. But again...I'm not going to go to deep into this discussion since you guys get too much into these different and strange interpretations. It seems like one Islamic law is not the same as the other yet they're both under the religion of Islam therefore making it ok...

 

[syberpriend]

It isn't just Islam, many abrahamic religions give rights to men having more than one wife. I'm not going to get into deep of this thread since I can hardly take half of it serious.

One thing I do notice is that it's specifically allowed for men but not women in Islam. So therefore I think it silly....

There is clear answer for this that y women are not given permision for polygamy, if u want to discuss, we can provide u detail

There's a lot of disturbing stuff about Muhammed and his 9 wives one of which who had not even hit puberty yet. But again...I'm not going to go to deep into this discussion since you guys get too much into these different and strange interpretations. It seems like one Islamic law is not the same as the other yet they're both under the religion of Islam therefore making it ok...

Your information is wrong about Prophet Muhammad wife not reaching puberty, its not what u read, the marriage happen after she reached puberty actually.
Islamic law is not contradicting with one another, if u have any example, kindly bring forward

 

[Aquitaine]

It isn't just Islam, many abrahamic religions give rights to men having more than one wife. I'm not going to get into deep of this thread since I can hardly take half of it serious.

One thing I do notice is that it's specifically allowed for men but not women in Islam. So therefore I think it silly....

There's a lot of disturbing stuff about Muhammed and his 9 wives one of which who had not even hit puberty yet. But again...I'm not going to go to deep into this discussion since you guys get too much into these different and strange interpretations. It seems like one Islamic law is not the same as the other yet they're both under the religion of Islam therefore making it ok...

Y' know, I don't even think it has been "officially" confirmed how many wives Mo' had.

I've read sources which state 9, 11, 12 and 13 so far. Apparently he had 9 at the time of his death, and had 11 wives at one time, but the total amount is still unknown as far as I know.