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Should you accept mediocrity?

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by Xavier Graham, Sep 28, 2022.

  1. Xavier Graham

    Xavier Graham Your local anarchist. God is Love is Love is Love

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    Should you accept mediocrity?

    Currently, I'm a dishwasher at a mediocre restaurant. I live in a trailer held together by tape. This is the best I've been doing in four years. By far.

    People in my life are asking me what the heck am I doing with my life. That I can do so much more.

    I used to believe them. Maybe I still do. With delusions of grandeur, I was sure that I would literally take over the world. Or, be a famous musician at least. Now, on medication, most days I don't think like that. I see now I am tiny human.

    With the meds, I am finding myself satisfied with stability. Or, mediocrity, as the people in my life insinuate.

    I talked to my therapist about this last time at length, but I do value you peoples input.

    Should one accept a mediocre life? With mild ambitions.

    Or, should you push yourself to be in the "best" situation you can put yourself in? Push yourself to your limit to obtain your ambitious goals.

    What is better?

    Goodnight everyone see you tomorrow
     
  2. mikkel_the_dane

    mikkel_the_dane My own religion

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    Well, I believe in content.
     
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  3. Heyo

    Heyo Veteran Member

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    Just ask yourself "could I realistically do better?"
    When you have a mental (or physical) condition, maybe you are doing all you can.
     
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  4. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
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    Accomplished, lucky and clever people fail to have proper self esteem, sometimes. I've learned something. Once you are an adult thinking of yourself positively is a choice. It isn't caused by your skills and accomplishments. You aren't lying when you decide you are worth knowing, worth other people waiting for, worth being treated right. No matter your job, relationships, wealth and abilities you have to choose to believe this, or you will feel unworthy. No matter how much wealth is poured upon you, its still a choice. I'm not saying you should become haughty or belittle others. You could though. Wear the sunglasses at night. Flirt at whoever you want. Understand what I'm saying. Its great to have skills, be loved and accomplished; but valuing yourself is a responsibility. Its not something that you can buy or be given. You have to value yourself, for yourself. Just stubbornly do it.

    What about that mediocre job? I went through a period where I was supported by others, but now I work. Employment means I am doing something honorable, and its a source of pride. When I'm working I sometimes think about how much I'm making every 15 minutes. I divide the hourly minus tax, by four. Then I think "I just made X in the last quarter hour." Its a nice feeling, and the amount adds up.
     
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  5. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    You seem content with the job and trailer for now but you should always aim for higher by doing the best you can. Think do you want to be in the same situation in 10 years from now?
     
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  6. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Be who ever you want

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    I belive in living one day at the time, but have some goals where one think, i would like to reach it, but also know it may not be possible to reach it if we put to high expectations in life.
     
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  7. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Accepting mediocrity isn't needed. And aiming for 'famous' might not be a valid aim. At best, you're using others measuring sticks to judge you.

    Just try and do a tiny bit better tomorrow. Do that enough, and the rest is okay.
     
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  8. Viker

    Viker Spirit in Black

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    No.
     
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  9. Jayhawker Soule

    Jayhawker Soule <yawn> ignore </yawn>
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    Should you accept mediocrity or push yourself to your limits? No.
    Should you view life as a choice between underwhelming subsistence and abject failure? No.
     
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  10. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    People love to tell other people how they should be living. Who they should become. And what to do, generally. It makes them feel superior, and wise, and caring, when they are often actually being none of those things.

    Sounds to me like you are doing what you need to do for yourself. And it's working. So it would make sense to be grateful for the progress and keep at it. If a better job or living arrangement comes along, and you feel up to it, maybe give it a try. I'm pretty sure you could always find another dish-washing job in another mediocre restaurant if you needed to step back. I think you should be proud of yourself for doing so well so far. And so should your friends. They probably are, which is why they're trying to encourage you to do more. But if you're feeling pretty good where you are, then why not enjoy it for a while? You earned it.

    But here I am telling you what to do. :)
     
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  11. metis

    metis aged ecumenical anthropologist

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    There's a statement that I believe is often true: Don't let the perfect negate the good.

    Sometimes we may push ourselves too far as an attachment to what we want to be, which may not be realistic. How many young people have gotten dismayed because they aren't as pretty or handsome of many of the movie stars, for example.

    We have a son who suffers from bipolar disorder, and it drove him twice to try and commit suicide, plus there's been many times later that he seriously contemplated. What drives him to do this? His perfectionist tendencies whereas he can't match them. He'll be 50 Saturday, owns his own small company, but that job and his insistence on perfection still makes him a walking time bomb, not to others but to himself.
     
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  12. Aupmanyav

    Aupmanyav Be your own guru

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    Should you accept mediocrity?: Yes, I am one such person. How can I deny my tribe?
     
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  13. Brian2

    Brian2 Well-Known Member

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    I believe in being content.
    Some people cannot be content without striving.
    Some people strive too much and lose sight of the goal and lose their contentment.
     
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  14. sun rise

    sun rise Śvāna Dharma
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    If I were you I would not focus on your economic circumstances as long as you have enough. Personally I find it rewarding to focus on the little things.
     
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  15. The Sum of Awe

    The Sum of Awe Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.

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    Why does it have to be one or the other? Why not a little of both? Drive yourself, have ambitions, go out of your comfort zone - but at the same time be content with what you have. "I'm really happy with what I have, very grateful. I wonder if I can add a little bit of quality here though."

    EDIT: But also, like PureX said, don't let anyone tell you how to live. just do whatever makes you happiest.
     
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  16. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Abnormal before it was fashionable
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    If mediocrity suits you, I see no problem.
    It calls to me too.

    Greatness would be too much work.
    And would I even succeed at it?
    Unlikely. Why court failure when
    I'm happy enuf with mediocrity, eh.
     
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  17. exchemist

    exchemist Veteran Member

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    I think everyone should try to find some satisfaction in their lives. It is vital to have some sense of self-worth. However the the person who defines what constitutes that should be you, not someone else - though some recognition from others is also important to self-esteem.

    A sense of self-worth can come from all sorts of things in life. For most people, it does not come from what they do for a living, or how much stuff they have. You need something you feel proud of about yourself, when you see yourself in the mirror in the morning. Usually, it has to have cost you some effort: that's what leads to the sense of achievement.

    But I'm old enough (68) now to have got awfully tired of earnest people (often Americans) pushing this moral re-armament style spiel about goals, ambitions and pushing yourself, in the context of work. A lot of it is just a way of causing anxiety or self-delusion - or a way for the boss to get you to work more hours for no extra money.

    If what you're doing is the best you have done for 4 years, that in itself is a cause for some pride, is it not? By the way, my son has done a couple of summer jobs in restaurants in London and in both cases had a lot of time for the KP.
     
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