Rudeness Toward Retail and Service Workers

[Debater Slayer]

A couple of days ago, I was doing grocery shopping at a nearby store. The checkout line was moderately long (several people with a lot of items), and one of them paid with a credit card. The card machine froze for a minute and caused a delay, which led to one of the customers huffing and then telling the cashier, "You're wasting time for no reason. You have all day now" before storming out of the door.

The cashier looked visibly upset but said nothing. I'm sure she has seen a lot of rude customers, but this still seemed so petty to me. She's standing there all day, getting paid peanuts, and dealing with all kinds of attitudes from customers who think they're entitled to mistreat her because they've bought a few items. The problem with the card machine wasn't even her fault or something she could control.

She seemed thankful when it was my turn and I calmly repeated my phone number to her because she didn't hear me clearly the first time. I felt bad for her; this should be the norm, not something to be thankful for as if it were an accomplishment.

Have you seen a lot of rudeness or mistreatment targeting retail or service workers where you live? If so, what do you think motivates most of it?

 

[Heyo]

A couple of days ago, I was doing grocery shopping at a nearby store. The checkout line was moderately long (several people with a lot of items), and one of them paid with a credit card. The card machine froze for a minute and caused a delay, which led to one of the customers huffing and then telling the cashier, "You're wasting time for no reason. You have all day now" before storming out of the door.

The cashier looked visibly upset but said nothing. I'm sure she has seen a lot of rude customers, but this still seemed so petty to me. She's standing there all day, getting paid peanuts, and dealing with all kinds of attitudes from customers who think they're entitled to mistreat her because they've bought a few items. The problem with the card machine wasn't even her fault or something she could control.

She seemed thankful when it was my turn and I calmly repeated my phone number to her because she didn't hear me clearly the first time. I felt bad for her; this should be the norm, not something to be thankful for as if it were an accomplishment.

Have you seen a lot of rudeness or mistreatment targeting retail or service workers where you live? If so, what do you think motivates most of it?

Germans aren't exactly known for being overly friendly but on the flip side we also usually stay less emotional on the negative side of our emotions. So rude behaviour is relatively rare here and in my experience it is slightly more often coming from the service personal than directed towards them. (Understandable, because patrons are more relaxed than people working.)

 

[Quintessence]

It's very rare.

When I worked retail years back, generously one in one hundred customers was a problem. And of those, most were just generally distressed and not directing it to you in particular (that is, it wasn't personal). It's probably closer to one in a thousand, honestly. Which is about the number of people you'd expect to, when having a bad day, lack the self-control of a typical adult to not project that onto others.

Associates I had working in retail never ceased whining about customers, though. It mystified me, after experiencing it myself and seeing virtually none of it. Then, after thinking about it, I realized these associates had always been down-in-the-dumps cynics who focused on the nasty in everything.

 

[Debater Slayer]

It's very rare.

When I worked retail years back, generously one in one hundred customers was a problem. And of those, most were just generally distressed and not directing it to you in particular (that is, it wasn't personal). It's probably closer to one in a thousand, honestly. Which is about the number of people you'd expect to, when having a bad day, lack the self-control of a typical adult to not project that onto others.

Associates I had working in retail never ceased whining about customers, though. It mystified me, after experiencing it myself and seeing virtually none of it. Then, after thinking about it, I realized these associates had always been down-in-the-dumps cynics who focused on the nasty in everything.

I definitely think a lot of it comes from someone's being mistreated or stressed out themselves and taking it out on others. It's not very common where I live, but it's still generally more noticeable in certain neglected and particularly poor neighborhoods. It can be counterintuitive that someone suffering from mistreatment goes on to do the same thing to others.

As for your associates, do you think it's possible that they just had a different experience from yours, or were they always cynical and complaining about everything regardless?

 

[ChristineM]

I remember irritable people in checkout queues around Christmas time in the UK.

Around these parts shoppers tend to treat retail staff with respect. "Good day", "how are you", a bit of chat, "bye" or "see you next week" sort of thing. Recently though I've seen a couple of tiffs (must be the cold weather). One guy had put a couple of bottles of good wine in his case of mediocre wine. He went loopy when the cashier opened the box to check. He wound up storming off leaving all his shopping behind.

The lady in front of me handed over a fistful of discount vouchers. The cashier, looked through them, 2 were out of date so she couldn't accept them. The ensuing argument required a manager to be called over. The rejection confirmed the lady tutted, then calmed down. Her weekly shop cost around 15 centimes more than she expected

 

[Soandso]

Depends, I suppose. Anyone who's worked customer service has experienced entitled Karens. Hell, the entitled Karen meme became popular because it resonated with customer service folks to begin with. I do think also that it's easier to remember the few customers who threw a tantrum than the other 20-50 who were perfectly pleasant

 

[Mock Turtle]

In my experiences of various check-out stores in the UK, I have rarely seen any bad temper displayed by customers or staff, and even when the issue of mask-wearing might have provoked some annoyances during the worst of the Covid pandemic, it never did from what I observed - so some toleration of differing views. Mostly the staff are friendly and willing to engage in conversation, or not as appropriate, and I don't think I have ever seen a confrontation that raised an eyebrow or two. Probably most can see it can be a stressful job at times and make allowances for this - and won't begrudge the occasional chat going on even if they think that this might be holding them up, which mostly it isn't.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

My partner and I were flying from Toronto to Vancouver once, and while we were waiting (long after departure time) we noticed a bunch of technicians crawling all over one engine on our plane. Now, bear in mind, I'm a terrible flyer to begin with.

Well, anyway, the flight was cancelled and we all had to line up to figure out what to do next. The guy in front of us happened to be a well-known Canadian Member of Parliament, and he was all over the poor ticket attendant -- "do you know who I am?" and "this is outrageous, I'll have your job for this," etc.

Anyway, when partner and I got to her, I kept quiet, because my emotions were already fraught, and partner simply said to her, "We're so sorry you had to go through that. It was really rude and you must feel terrible!" Needless to say, we were on the very next flight to Vancouver, in our booked First Class seats, and that MP was NOT aboard.

Sometimes, you must remember, the person you are talking to might just be the only one who can help you in the moment. It pays to think of that.

 

[The Hammer]

I do think also that it's easier to remember the few customers who threw a tantrum than the other 20-50 who were perfectly pleasant

This is just human nature/psychology. We tend to focus more on the negative rather than the positive. Which makes sense from a survival point of view.

Do you want to remember each and every way you have succeeded? Or the few times you've failed so you can avoid repeating a mistake.

 

[sun rise]

It's not just service workers. There's a reddit area for malicious compliance toward bosses who demand crazy things and get exactly what they demanded to their detriment.

I have utterly flustered people by returning a formulaic "have a nice day" with something like "I hope your day goes smoothly" (or something like that). Many people are taken aback when someone goes just a tiny bit beyond the formula whether in person or on the phone.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I've seen a lot of it and had to deal with a lot of it. The worst was at a gas station where the store manager forbid us to stand up for ourselves and hoping someone on line would (my dad failed to, but I have fond memories of the biker gang guy who intimidated and threatened those being rude to us).
Seems like a lot of it is just people who are of terrible character. Like those who get impatient, calling people stupid, throwing things and yelling. If you treat fast food workers the way I have and have seen, how can it be honestly possible such people can be described as good people? It can't be done.

 

[exchemist]

It's very rare.

When I worked retail years back, generously one in one hundred customers was a problem. And of those, most were just generally distressed and not directing it to you in particular (that is, it wasn't personal). It's probably closer to one in a thousand, honestly. Which is about the number of people you'd expect to, when having a bad day, lack the self-control of a typical adult to not project that onto others.

Associates I had working in retail never ceased whining about customers, though. It mystified me, after experiencing it myself and seeing virtually none of it. Then, after thinking about it, I realized these associates had always been down-in-the-dumps cynics who focused on the nasty in everything.

I think this is spot-on. When you see a lot of people in a short space of time, statistically you will get one or two in a filthy temper. As you say, it is most likely nothing personal. They are just having a bad day and some little thing can be the last straw that leads to an eruption of anger.

People who are really angry can actually be quite funny, if you can stand back and not feel involved. They are apt to do silly things, like walking into doors or driving into lamp posts by accident.

 

[Watchmen]

A couple of days ago, I was doing grocery shopping at a nearby store. The checkout line was moderately long (several people with a lot of items), and one of them paid with a credit card. The card machine froze for a minute and caused a delay, which led to one of the customers huffing and then telling the cashier, "You're wasting time for no reason. You have all day now" before storming out of the door.

The cashier looked visibly upset but said nothing. I'm sure she has seen a lot of rude customers, but this still seemed so petty to me. She's standing there all day, getting paid peanuts, and dealing with all kinds of attitudes from customers who think they're entitled to mistreat her because they've bought a few items. The problem with the card machine wasn't even her fault or something she could control.

She seemed thankful when it was my turn and I calmly repeated my phone number to her because she didn't hear me clearly the first time. I felt bad for her; this should be the norm, not something to be thankful for as if it were an accomplishment.

Have you seen a lot of rudeness or mistreatment targeting retail or service workers where you live? If so, what do you think motivates most of it?

My kids did stints in restaurants. Management was a cesspool and customers sucked big time. Tough to say what motivates rude customers. Could be their natural personalities, a sense of entitlement, a bad day, a combination of all three or something else entirely.

 

[Revoltingest]

There are 2 kinds of people..
1) Solve problems with civility & equanimity.
2) Rage at others to give what they want.
3) People who can't count.

People...avoid being a big steaming pile of #2 towards innocent others.

 

[Quintessence]

As for your associates, do you think it's possible that they just had a different experience from yours, or were they always cynical and complaining about everything regardless?

A bit of both, probably. In general I notice a pretty stark difference in attitude between the blue-collar folks and white-collar folks I've known. It's to be expected - if you're in an environment that your society keeps telling you is less-than, it's not easy to avoid internalizing that especially in this individualistic-centered culture of the USA. Though come to think of it, this could also be a function of the management too. When I've had managers who are... not nice people, it ripples out onto the entire team regardless of it being white or blue collar work.

 

[Heyo]

This is just human nature/psychology. We tend to focus more on the negative rather than the positive. Which makes sense from a survival point of view.

Do you want to remember each and every way you have succeeded? Or the few times you've failed so you can avoid repeating a mistake.

Except when it's distant memories. Over a long time we forget the bad stuff and remember mainly the good stuff. This form of memory loss is called nostalgia.

 

[Father Heathen]

It's very rare.

That probably depends on the area where you live.

I've also worked retail in the past and while most customers were decent, I still had to routinely deal with customers who were rude, entitled, belligerent, drunk, etc.

 

[Twilight Hue]

It's also a matter of quality service and attention to detail on part of the retailer.

Fast food is a great example where orders are made wrong consistently and quality of service is notably low and substandard.

Sometimes that rudeness is certainly avoidable with some adjustments from the servicer to the customer.

 

[The Hammer]

That probably depends on the area where you live.

I've also worked retail in the past and while most customers were decent, I still had to routinely deal with customers who were rude, entitled, belligerent, drunk, etc.

Absolutely. When I delivered pizzas for 2 years it was mostly good. But the bad ones were always memorable. I had a belligerent gentleman frisbee his pizza into his yard, because he couldn't produce his credit card as proof of payment, as it was his wife's and she wasn't home.

(This was back when we had to do a little carbon copy of the last four of people's cards onto the receipt to show we checked card, and name matched).

 

[Father Heathen]

It's also a matter of quality service and attention to detail on part of the retailer.

Fast food is a great example where orders are made wrong consistently and quality of service is notably low and substandard.

Sometimes that rudeness is certainly avoidable with some adjustments from the servicer to the customer.

Like the ones who get pissy when you politely make a request for any missing items you've payed for.