"Real Housewives" star has new book that advocates marital rape

[MysticSang'ha]

Shared by Jezebel.com, Melissa Gorga of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" has written a book that has revealed an assortment of highly questionable anecdotes about her marriage to her husband Joe, and how her marital advice is considered to advocate marital rape.

From one of the excerpts (from her husband Joe) as shared by Jezebel:

Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.

Presumably, Joe appears throughout the book to give a husbands side of things as to what makes a happy marriage.

I've seen various "how-to" books on what makes a happy marriage, and many of them follow a focus on IMO infantilizing one or both of the spouses and catering to insecurities or spoiling them to the point where one spouse walks on eggshells to avoid an angry outburst. I don't know about the good folks here at RF, but marital advice like that turns my stomach.

Some other thoughtful bits of advice given by Mrs. Gorga are:

In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times…If I didn't give it to him once a day, he'd get upset.

I can do something that ****es him off on a Monday, but if we had sex on Sunday night, it blows over more easily. But if we haven't done it for two days and I give him attitude? It could be a huge fight.

Give him attitude. Sheesh. Sounds like her husband Joe can't handle somebody who is peeved with him. And especially when he hasn't had sex in a couple of days.

And...

When gender roles are confused, sexual roles are, too. If he's at the sink and then changing diapers, then who throws down in the bed? In our marriage, Joe is always the man, doing masculine things. I'm the woman, and I do the female things, including housework.

There's plenty more from the book shared in the above link for your reading pleasure or as a source for indignation.

If this book made to a publisher, and that publisher agrees to print and distribute to the masses, then an average writer like myself stands a chance at writing her Mystic Manifesto someday and maybe banking at least a six figure contract.

My rant is over. Share your thoughts?

 

[Revoltingest]

I will continue to boycott the show.

Btw, "The Real Housecats of Revoltingistan" is set to debut on FX soon.

 

[Caladan]

My rant is over. Share your thoughts?

By this description:

Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.

Then many men have been raped in and outside of marriage by women by much the same way, including yours truly. At least in my case, I didn't actually say the word 'no', but I believe what she illustrates here can be taken to be a metaphorical 'no' just to spice her paragraph. The kind of 'on no!' - 'on yes!' - 'oh no!' - 'oh yes!' you see in movies. I don't really see any advocacy for martial rape if the reader actually has some basic common sense, discretion, and personal judgment. It's simply too much private information from her own life in some cases, IMO. My marriage life and preferences are different from her husband's, since I don't have problem doing or enjoying 'feminine things'. For example I could spend 3 hours in the kitchen cooking a meal for my wife if I come back from work earlier, and I do pretty much all housework (and so does my wife). I have a feeling she simply tries to present her husband as the masculine archetype and I doubt the image is really an honest portrait.

 

[Caladan]

BTW I have no idea what is 'the real housewives'.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I will continue to boycott the show.

Btw, "The Real Housecats of Revoltingistan" is set to debut on FX soon.

Let me know how it goes. I don't watch FX.

By this description:

Then many men have been raped in and outside of marriage by women by much the same way, included yours truly. At least in my case, I didn't actually say the word 'no', but I believe what she illustrates here can be taken to be a metaphorical 'no' just to spice her paragraph. The kind of 'on no!' - 'on yes!' - 'oh no!' - 'oh yes!' you see in movies. I don't really see any advocacy for martial rape if the reader actually has some basic common sense, discretion, and personal judgment. It's simply too much private information from her own life in some cases, IMO. My marriage life and preferences are different than her husband, since I don't have problem doing or enjoy doing 'feminine things'. For example I could spend 3 hours in the kitchen cooking a meal for my wife if I come back from work earlier, and I do pretty much all housework (and so does my wife). I have a feeling she simply tries to present her husband as the masculine archetype and I doubt the image is really an honest portrait.

The excerpt that you read is from her husband Joe. Not the writer. He is advocating that if your spouse says "no", don't listen to them. Turn them around and rip their clothes off.

BTW I have no idea what is 'the real housewives'.

It's a reality TV show here in the states that has enjoyed popularity for its cat fights, breakups, hookups, back-stabbing, and general drama-queen scenarios with women who all pretty much look the same.

There's various "Real Housewives" shows that target different demographics based on geography, too. But they all follow the same format, basically.

 

[FranklinMichaelV.3]

Lol this world is all types of strange.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

This is like being served deep-fried cow manure for dinner and then complaining about how bad the plating is.

 

[FranklinMichaelV.3]

This is like being served deep-fried cow manure for dinner and then complaining about how bad the plating is.

Everything tastes better fried -'Merica

 

[graalbaum]

1 they are from jersey and on a tacky tv show

2 the so called rape may very well be that, however many men and women like those sexual roles

3 clearly sex is as much as like giving a pet a treat ad it.is an ecpression of love

4 they are clearly rather vapid although thats point 1

 

[InformedIgnorance]

Well if it works for them so be it... it is just that she shouldnt be surprised if other people (particularly women) are less than keen to embrace the 'ideal relationship' that she seems to envisage.

 

[Father Heathen]

BTW I have no idea what is 'the real housewives'.

A garbage reality TV show of the lowest class.

 

[ChristineES]

I am speechless.

 

[Me Myself]

By this description:

Then many men have been raped in and outside of marriage by women by much the same way, including yours truly. At least in my case, I didn't actually say the word 'no', but I believe what she illustrates here can be taken to be a metaphorical 'no' just to spice her paragraph. The kind of 'on no!' - 'on yes!' - 'oh no!' - 'oh yes!' you see in movies. I don't really see any advocacy for martial rape if the reader actually has some basic common sense, discretion, and personal judgment. It's simply too much private information from her own life in some cases, IMO. My marriage life and preferences are different from her husband's, since I don't have problem doing or enjoying 'feminine things'. For example I could spend 3 hours in the kitchen cooking a meal for my wife if I come back from work earlier, and I do pretty much all housework (and so does my wife). I have a feeling she simply tries to present her husband as the masculine archetype and I doubt the image is really an honest portrait.

While I would have been "raped" that way too (outside of marriage of course, never been married) and it is important to notice I have not read the book, the excerpts do sound very questionable to me.

Yes, some "no"s are "I dont know"s and "duh yes, convince me" but assuming all noes are she always wants it sounds .... Terribly problematic to say the least.

No one wants sex ALL THE TIME and in. ANY MOMENT. No matter how many people may responsd to this post to say they do

 

[Me Myself]

Well if it works for them so be it... it is just that she shouldnt be surprised if other people (particularly women) are less than keen to embrace the 'ideal relationship' that she seems to envisage.

Absolutely.

I mean assuming no no is no is.... Dangerous unless with a safe word or something.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I am speechless.

Totally, Christine. This passage bears repeating:

Men, I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says "no," turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Women don't realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.

One more time, repeating the phrase that made me nauseous: "If your wife says "no", turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated."

And the last line....."Just give us what we want". That kind of advice for spouses doesn't work for ANY gender. Regardless of whether it's same sex or opposite sex marriages. It's dehumanizing, thoughtless, and screams entitlement when not carefully discussed through power-distinct relationships for doms/subs.

 

[ChristineES]

Totally, Christine. This passage bears repeating:



One more time, repeating the phrase that made me nauseous: "If your wife says "no", turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated."

And the last line....."Just give us what we want". That kind of advice for spouses doesn't work for ANY gender. Regardless of whether it's same sex or opposite sex marriages. It's dehumanizing, thoughtless, and screams entitlement when not carefully discussed through power-distinct relationships for doms/subs.

Some people are saying "if it works for them" and I agree. The passage you quoted here, however, was not just about them. When women (edited to add; and Men) say "no" they mean "no", most of them time. "No meaning yes" is an idea we've been trying to dispel for years.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Some people are saying "if it works for them" and I agree. The passage you quoted here, however, was not just about them. When women (edited to add; and Men) say "no" they mean "no", most of them time. "No meaning yes" is an idea we've been trying to dispel for years.

Pretty much.

Those who have known me over the years here at RF understand I support explicitly stated dom/sub relationships where a dominant partner calls the shots while the sub calls the hard and soft boundaries. However, even though I love initiative, assertiveness, and pushing for what one so desires, informed consent trumps it all. "No" means "no" 100% of the time. It's a boundary that my husband and I have always respected and understood, and it's what we have been teaching our kids as the overriding factor when it comes to intimacy and sex. It's as clear to us as making sure we don't rob a bank. There are no grey areas when it comes to consent. If he says "no" or his safe word, my hands are off immediately, and he responds the same way when the situation is reversed and I don't give consent.

And it's because we actually give a damn about each other. The kind of advice presented in the book, however, ensures that giving a damn only goes in one direction to just one spouse. The kind of relationship that reminds me of is one where I'm caring for an infant or a family member on hospice care who is completely helpless where I have to feed, bathe, and change diapers for. It's very very sad to think of oneself as so helpless to depend entirely on who is supposed to be a partner, not a caretaker or a punching bag.

 

[Kerr]

While I would have been "raped" that way too (outside of marriage of course, never been married) and it is important to notice I have not read the book, the excerpts do sound very questionable to me.

Yes, some "no"s are "I dont know"s and "duh yes, convince me" but assuming all noes are she always wants it sounds .... Terribly problematic to say the least.

No one wants sex ALL THE TIME and in. ANY MOMENT. No matter how many people may responsd to this post to say they do

I would still say its better to assume that a "no" means "no" and not guess it may mean something else .

 

[Horrorble]

This is why liberals annoy me "well erm some people like it and you know how progressive I am when it comes to freedom"
He is promoting rape, that is how he views women in general. And women are socialised to be submissive anyway, so how is this progressive for us? Please

 

[Horrorble]

And just in case you didn't realise...no women DON'T liked to be raped! No women don't like to jut give men what they when they want it.