I want to post my beliefs about homosexuality. As people read this, bear in mind that I was raised in a fundamentalist household, so my beliefs have evolved as I have learned more about the world around me.
I believe that most of homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgenered behavior is biological but I'm not quite convinced that all of it is. Let me explain why:
I have met a few people who recall same-sex attraction from a very early age. An old acquaintance of mine, Beth, was such a lady and naturally accepts that she's a lesbian. I believe that she was born gay. The same with a few others. I have met people in person who I believe were definitely born gay. Do I believe it's genetic? I'm not sure. It may be biological without being genetic. It could have something to do with chromosomes and alterations of chromosomes. I'm not an expert and I"m far from being well-read on the subject so I couldn't say for sure.
However, there are some things that puzzle me. When I was growing up, my younger brother, Dan, had a very close buddy Brian. Brian has a sister named Shawna. I knew Shawna in my freshman year of high school and she was a senior and dating a great guy named Rod. In either my sophomore year or junior year of high school, I was shocked and disheartened to learn that Shawna was a lesbian. Her reason? "There are no nice guys left". I considered myself a nice guy (very much still do). I felt horrible. I wish that if there wasn't this darn stimga in some conservative Christian churches (like the one that I was raised in) where it's almost considered scandalous for a man to date an older lady, I could've been the guy to Shawna who could've made a difference.
I have seen a number of these cases. Some woman who was known to date men comes out as a lesbian and her reason? "I'm sick of men!" I even read an advice column where a woman who was "sick of men" decided to start dating women and asked Ann Landers (or Abbey) how to tell her kids. I wished (and still do) that I could have dated her so I could've proven to be the guy who made the difference.
Given these cases, it's understandable how I concluded that homosexuality was a choice growing up. Lesbians were angry and bitter at men, I thought. But they were missing a point. If only they would become Christians, the lord could bring a wonderful man into their lives and they would be happy and content. I was never sure how to explain these cases of lesbians who decide to date women because men are just scum.
In fact, I came to conclude that if this kind of homosexuality was a choice at all, then the problem was with society. There are fewer and fewer nice guys left in society, I concluded, because kindness is being marginalized. Kindness is seen as being for whimps and sissies while aggression, spite, and cruelty are being rewarded in our society. I came to conclude that the problem was with market capitalism. The problem was that market capitalism was based on competition and you couldn't be kind to people in the name of competition. People take advantage of you. If you are kind and gentle, you are marginalized in society as being a weakling.
This is one of the reasons I was driven to socialism, especially "Participatory Economics". I saw it as a wonderful Humanistic alternative to the Social Darwinism of brutally competitive market capitalism favored by people I considered to be disturbing and sick (like Ayn Rand). I believed (and still very much like) the idea of equitable cooperation and mutual aid in society. I thought that if we had a equitable society based on mutual aid and voluntary cooperation, kindness would be the norm and all the jerks in society would disappear because their sickening cruelity would not be tolerated. In capitalism I saw a disgusting pathology; society encouraging people to be cruel and aggressive. Nice people don't get ahead in life. To get ahead you must lie, cheat, steal, and be an complete jerk to people.
I still like the idea of libertarian socialism although I have abandoned it, regretfully. I haven't embraced capitalism again. I would rather be tortured in a death camp than believe that kindness is for the weak, that "nice guys finish last" and deserve to, and that hate, cruelty, and aggression are good. I still want to believe that Shawna would have found a wonderful man if we lived in a Humanist society and that the women I mentioned above would have met gentlemen that they could've spent the rest of their lives with.
Still, I don't know what to make of these lesbians. Is their attraction to women a choice? Are they bisexual but just disgusted with men?
How do we cure this problem of a society where many men act like total jerks to women?