Goodness,
Too hard,
Too hard for me,
Who loves the shadows so much,
Not willing to embrace God's sword.
I will no longer try,
but delegated my hard heart,
to God and his compassion.
If he and his chosen ones don't save me,
No one will,
Certainly I won't save myself.
If he wishes, he will watch me perish.
As act of justice for my dark evil.
And if he wishes, he will save me,
out of love and compassion,
Grace and overwhelming amount of forgiveness.
I'm sorry God.
I'm sorry Prophet of God.
I'm sorry the family of the Prophet.
I'm sorry all believers.
I'm sorry all humans.
I'm sorry myself.
For I have given up on myself, but not on you o Lord who created.
For my knowledge of you which you bestowed by your grace.
Has made it impossible to despair of your compassion.
Yet my knowledge of your justice, has made me terrified of the punishment to come.
If you heal me,
than many times did you favor me,
And if you let the corruption overwhelm me
And misguidance take me
Than assuredly I am not better then other evil servants of yours who you punished
And I am not better than a lot of who were misguided and hell became their destiny.
It's your choice and no one else oh God.
Terrified and hopeful,
I don't know the outcome.
Perhaps your hate in moments like these
Where I pray
Ceases.
Perhaps you will save me.
I don't know.
You who taught me so much
How can I ever give up on you
Yet my soul which perishes
Despite all you have taught
how I can trust it?
You are compassionate and kind
And so I put my hopes in you
Let me be who you want me to be
And not who I want to be
That's all I ask
Too hard,
Too hard for me,
Who loves the shadows so much,
Not willing to embrace God's sword.
I will no longer try,
but delegated my hard heart,
to God and his compassion.
If he and his chosen ones don't save me,
No one will,
Certainly I won't save myself.
If he wishes, he will watch me perish.
As act of justice for my dark evil.
And if he wishes, he will save me,
out of love and compassion,
Grace and overwhelming amount of forgiveness.
I'm sorry God.
I'm sorry Prophet of God.
I'm sorry the family of the Prophet.
I'm sorry all believers.
I'm sorry all humans.
I'm sorry myself.
For I have given up on myself, but not on you o Lord who created.
For my knowledge of you which you bestowed by your grace.
Has made it impossible to despair of your compassion.
Yet my knowledge of your justice, has made me terrified of the punishment to come.
If you heal me,
than many times did you favor me,
And if you let the corruption overwhelm me
And misguidance take me
Than assuredly I am not better then other evil servants of yours who you punished
And I am not better than a lot of who were misguided and hell became their destiny.
It's your choice and no one else oh God.
Terrified and hopeful,
I don't know the outcome.
Perhaps your hate in moments like these
Where I pray
Ceases.
Perhaps you will save me.
I don't know.
You who taught me so much
How can I ever give up on you
Yet my soul which perishes
Despite all you have taught
how I can trust it?
You are compassionate and kind
And so I put my hopes in you
Let me be who you want me to be
And not who I want to be
That's all I ask
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