It's all pointless.

[T-Dawg]

I realized something as I sat by the girl I liked, during the talent show (or whatever the event was supposed to be). While they were playing this song, YouTube - A Broken Hallelujah (House: House/Stacy) and when we got to the part that went something like "I used to live alone before I knew you... love is not a victory much, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah..."
And then I thought - "Wait a minute - even if everything goes great and this person someone ends up liking me, it's still not going to be great. I'm going to be giving away my entire life just so I can be with a girl. Think, man, THINK! You hardly even know this person! All you know about her is that she's beautiful and she gave you a friendly hug a couple weeks ago! For all you know, she might be Republican or something!"

I talked about some of this with one of my friends (who also happens to be her boyfriend), and I found out that it was called physical attraction (we got into another conversation but it's not relevant). And I thought - "Physical attraction? Seriously? Am I really that stupid? Why do I insist on liking girls that I don't know at all and whom I know don't like me back? Why?"

And later I remembering thinking something along the lines of "What am I wanting? Sex? Why am I tormenting myself over sex? I don't even like sex. Even if it's as great as it's hyped up to be, it's just another fun thing to do that only lasts about 5 seconds at most. Why do my hormones insist on basing my actions off of the desire for sex? Wait a minute... why do I insist on basing my actions off of... anything? What's the point of life? So I can get a good job, become rich, become a billionare, take over the world... THEN WHAT?!? What's the point? It will all come to pass. Just like Solomon learned and passed on through Ecclesiastes. What am I living for?"


Are these thoughts normal?

 

[Yes Man]

You kind of sound depressed. Have you talked to anyone else about having these thoughts?

 

[Runewolf1973]

I heard it been said before that life is suffering...but five second sex? Now that's really suffering. Just kidding. Anyways, life has a lot of really good things to offer but you have to be willing to put up with some of the bad. Be open, good things will come.

 

[Smoke]

Are these thoughts normal?

For a teenager to be insecure, uncertain, and confused about sexuality is one of the most normal things in the world. Especially if you've been brought up with a lot of sexual taboos and the unspoken rule that nice people don't even talk about sex. It's not very pleasant, but it's very normal.

 

[Runewolf1973]

For a teenager to be insecure, uncertain, and confused about sexuality is one of the most normal things in the world. Especially if you've been brought up with a lot of sexual taboos and the unspoken rule that nice people don't even talk about sex. It's not very pleasant, but it's very normal.

Yes, sometimes people are conditioned (by religion sometimes) into mistakenly thinking that sex is bad or gross or whatever. It's not bad at all. It is quite normal and natural, it should not involve guilt.

 

[Sunstone]

YouTube - A Broken Hallelujah (House: House/Stacy)

Good song.

I talked about some of this with one of my friends (who also happens to be her boyfriend), and I found out that it was called physical attraction. ... And I thought - "Physical attraction? Seriously? Am I really that stupid? Why do I insist on liking girls that I don't know at all and whom I know don't like me back? Why?"

That's an important lesson to learn and you seem to be starting to learn it. People who do not learn to distinguish between physical attraction and more inclusive forms of attraction, sometimes end up marrying people who they are largely incompatible with. But you have to learn this sort of thing. You are not born with an innate ability to avoid these pitfalls.

Are these thoughts normal?

They're pretty normal for intelligent adolescents.

 

[Runewolf1973]

[/i]That's an important lesson to learn and you seem to be starting to learn it. People who do not learn to distinguish between physical attraction and more inclusive forms of attraction, sometimes end up marrying people who they are largely incompatible with. But you have to learn this sort of thing. You are not born with an innate ability to avoid these pitfalls.

I already made that mistake once in my life.

 

[Aquitaine]

I realized something as I sat by the girl I liked, during the talent show (or whatever the event was supposed to be). While they were playing this song,

YouTube - A Broken Hallelujah (House: House/Stacy) and when we got to the part that went something like "I used to live alone before I knew you... love is not a victory much, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah..."
And then I thought - "Wait a minute - even if everything goes great and this person someone ends up liking me, it's still not going to be great. I'm going to be giving away my entire life just so I can be with a girl. Think, man, THINK! You hardly even know this person! All you know about her is that she's beautiful and she gave you a friendly hug a couple weeks ago! For all you know, she might be Republican or something!"

I talked about some of this with one of my friends (who also happens to be her boyfriend), and I found out that it was called physical attraction (we got into another conversation but it's not relevant). And I thought - "Physical attraction? Seriously? Am I really that stupid? Why do I insist on liking girls that I don't know at all and whom I know don't like me back? Why?"

And later I remembering thinking something along the lines of "What am I wanting? Sex? Why am I tormenting myself over sex? I don't even like sex. Even if it's as great as it's hyped up to be, it's just another fun thing to do that only lasts about 5 seconds at most. Why do my hormones insist on basing my actions off of the desire for sex? Wait a minute... why do I insist on basing my actions off of... anything? What's the point of life? So I can get a good job, become rich, become a billionare, take over the world... THEN WHAT?!? What's the point? It will all come to pass. Just like Solomon learned and passed on through Ecclesiastes. What am I living for?"


Are these thoughts normal?

Yes those thoughts are very normal. There isn't any objective value in life anyways, so in one respect you could say that it is all worthless or pointless.

Life is only what you make of it, you live it just to fullfil yourself/your path, and then you die. Since our lives are also temporary, and a fragment in comparison to the age of the Universe, you could also veiw that as "justification" to veiw life as a total waste of time.

However, it doesn't mean you cannot define your own set of values and go through life in accordance to them. No one can tell you how to live your life, or judge it's values, the "Beauty" of our existence is that a lot of it is subjective, and you can make whatever you want of your outlook, and maybe even your life if you work hard enough at it.

Who cares if we only do things to fullfil our drives, you still enjoy things don't you? You still feel pain and pleasure, right? You still have others around you who care, right?

So, if you're struggling to see a point or value in your life, then make one yourself, for yourself - and live your life in accordance to such values, and most importantly......

Enjoy your life!

 

[T-Dawg]

Have you talked to anyone else about having these thoughts?

Of course not. 1.) I just had them today (although I've had somewhat similar thoughts before, they weren't as clear) and 2.) I don't want to be put on anti-depressant medication that will f*** up my mind and deprive me of wisdom (which all mind altering drugs inherently do, for that is their purpose - change a person's brain chemicals, because obviously if you're thinking certain things, you're insane, right? Bah!). You have to understand that where I live, being depressed is the same thing as being suicidal, as far as the people in charge are concerned. And wanting to die is somehow a crime where I live. Which, of course, only makes it worse.

I heard it been said before that life is suffering...but five second sex?

Well, the ejaculation in masturbation (closest thing I've had to sex) is about 5 seconds... (I just mean the sex part, not including the foreplay and stuff).


Oh, and one more train of thought I forgot to add:
A while later, out of nowhere came - "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU? (girl's name) didn't love you, (another girl) didn't love you, and (girl I like now) certainly doesn't love you! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?!?"
I noticed that it's voice was signifigantly different from my other thoughts (in fact, I think it was the same voice of all my "telepathic signals" and the like), and that it consistently referred to me in second person.

Is that also normal? =/


Also, it occured to me that maybe the reason why I was so messed up inside ("messed up" meaning "not exactly like everyone else") might be due to a medicine my parents made me take when I was in like 5th grade... it was called Risperdal, a quick google shows that it's an anti-psychosis drug (gee, thanks mom, for basically telling me that I was psychotic before I even knew what that would have meant ). Does anyone know anything about it and what it might have changed in me?

 

[Runewolf1973]

Of course not. 1.) I just had them today (although I've had somewhat similar thoughts before, they weren't as clear) and 2.) I don't want to be put on anti-depressant medication that will f*** up my mind and deprive me of wisdom (which all mind altering drugs inherently do, for that is their purpose - change a person's brain chemicals, because obviously if you're thinking certain things, you're insane, right? Bah!). You have to understand that where I live, being depressed is the same thing as being suicidal, as far as the people in charge are concerned. And wanting to die is somehow a crime where I live. Which, of course, only makes it worse.Well, the ejaculation in masturbation (closest thing I've had to sex) is about 5 seconds... (I just mean the sex part, not including the foreplay and stuff).


Oh, and one more train of thought I forgot to add:
A while later, out of nowhere came - "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU? (girl's name) didn't love you, (another girl) didn't love you, and (girl I like now) certainly doesn't love you! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?!?"
I noticed that it's voice was signifigantly different from my other thoughts (in fact, I think it was the same voice of all my "telepathic signals" and the like), and that it consistently referred to me in second person.

Is that also normal? =/


Also, it occured to me that maybe the reason why I was so messed up inside ("messed up" meaning "not exactly like everyone else") might be due to a medicine my parents made me take when I was in like 5th grade... it was called Risperdal, a quick google shows that it's an anti-psychosis drug (gee, thanks mom, for basically telling me that I was psychotic before I even knew what that would have meant ). Does anyone know anything about it and what it might have changed in me?

Your thoughts are still very much normal. In fact I had almost the exact same thoughts when I was in my teens. I was actually afraid of growing up and having to face the world. I found out it was not so bad as I thought it would be. Just give things some time. There are a lot of really nice girls out there, don't settle for the ones in your head. They're too picky them ones.

 

[Kerr]

Yes, your thoughts are normal. I would even say everyone has had them, or at last a variation of them.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU? (girl's name) didn't love you, (another girl) didn't love you, and (girl I like now) certainly doesn't love you! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?!?

Trust me, this is VERY common and completely normal. And trust me, that is a big fat lier sitting in your head filling it with garbage. It takes a few times, to me it took until... lets just say it took a while for me to find someone who liked me. It takes time.

 

[ericoh2]

I realized something as I sat by the girl I liked, during the talent show (or whatever the event was supposed to be). While they were playing this song, YouTube - A Broken Hallelujah (House: House/Stacy) and when we got to the part that went something like "I used to live alone before I knew you... love is not a victory much, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah..."
And then I thought - "Wait a minute - even if everything goes great and this person someone ends up liking me, it's still not going to be great. I'm going to be giving away my entire life just so I can be with a girl. Think, man, THINK! You hardly even know this person! All you know about her is that she's beautiful and she gave you a friendly hug a couple weeks ago! For all you know, she might be Republican or something!"

I talked about some of this with one of my friends (who also happens to be her boyfriend), and I found out that it was called physical attraction (we got into another conversation but it's not relevant). And I thought - "Physical attraction? Seriously? Am I really that stupid? Why do I insist on liking girls that I don't know at all and whom I know don't like me back? Why?"

And later I remembering thinking something along the lines of "What am I wanting? Sex? Why am I tormenting myself over sex? I don't even like sex. Even if it's as great as it's hyped up to be, it's just another fun thing to do that only lasts about 5 seconds at most. Why do my hormones insist on basing my actions off of the desire for sex? Wait a minute... why do I insist on basing my actions off of... anything? What's the point of life? So I can get a good job, become rich, become a billionare, take over the world... THEN WHAT?!? What's the point? It will all come to pass. Just like Solomon learned and passed on through Ecclesiastes. What am I living for?"


Are these thoughts normal?

Unfortunately I don't think a lot of people have thoughts of this nature. But it is very good to question and look at everything beyond what they appear to be, so never feel bad or "crazy" for contemplating. If you continue to remember the pointlessness of our petty concerns you can actually start to gain a new and genuine appreciation for existence and life that is very beneficial. Just remember that there will be "highs" and "lows" that result from this, so try to look within to find the significance of these new realizations and open yourself, as much as possible, to receive direction. I wish you the best of luck .

 

[Sunstone]

Oh, and one more train of thought I forgot to add:
A while later, out of nowhere came - "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU? (girl's name) didn't love you, (another girl) didn't love you, and (girl I like now) certainly doesn't love you! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?!?"
I noticed that it's voice was signifigantly different from my other thoughts (in fact, I think it was the same voice of all my "telepathic signals" and the like), and that it consistently referred to me in second person.

Is that also normal? =/

That's pretty normal at your age. It'll pass.

 

[rojse]

Even if it's as great as it's hyped up to be, it's just another fun thing to do that only lasts about 5 seconds at most.

Only five seconds?

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

Oh, and one more train of thought I forgot to add:
A while later, out of nowhere came - "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN THAT NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU? (girl's name) didn't love you, (another girl) didn't love you, and (girl I like now) certainly doesn't love you! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP AND REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH?!?"
I noticed that it's voice was signifigantly different from my other thoughts (in fact, I think it was the same voice of all my "telepathic signals" and the like), and that it consistently referred to me in second person.

Is that also normal? =/

I concur with Kerr This voice has it wrong, but I'm not surprised its coming up at this time. I felt that way until I got to about 19, then I got a lot of attention but I still thought girls that liked me must be deluded. It wasn't until I got to 24 that I realised no one feels loved enough, me included, that it was BS and there was something I could do about it. After that **** was easy.

Btw, did that voice say that after you found out about the Risperdal?

What kind of thing do your telepathic signals say? And could you describe the type of voice it is? Is it really audible, like someone talking right next to you, or is it just thoughts coming up in a particular voice tone?

Hearing telepathic voices can be an indication of schizophrenia but it can also be the powerful creative imagination at work. People often jump to conclusions without examining what's happening carefully enough.

 

[T-Dawg]

Btw, did that voice say that after you found out about the Risperdal?

I've known about the risperdal for a long time, it just occured to me then that it might have done something. I've the voice ever since I stopped talking to my first crush (actually, I got them before I made the decision to run away from her, and what they said scared me enough to stop attempting a relationship with her. In fact, because of what the voices told me, I sincerely believed that she wanted to kill me throughout high school). Another voice is the personification of my stalker personality and hormone drive, and tries to tell me what to do when I'm around certain girls.

Is it really audible, like someone talking right next to you, or is it just thoughts coming up in a particular voice tone?

No, it's not audible.

 

[Yes Man]

I don't want to be put on anti-depressant medication that will f*** up my mind and deprive me of wisdom (which all mind altering drugs inherently do, for that is their purpose - change a person's brain chemicals, because obviously if you're thinking certain things, you're insane, right?

Well anti-depressants seemed to help me a lot. I'm off them now. But I didn't say anything about taking meds though, I asked if you talked to anyone. It's normal to be questioning why we're here, what our purpose is. What I'm saying is that keeping these thoughts in may not be a good idea.

Your problem seems to be a philosophical one, in that you're questioning purpose of being here. That can be a tough rut to get out off. You must be content with not knowing and try to enjoy life. Anyways, it sounds like you're having trouble with girls too. The voices you're hearing don't seem to do you any good. Best to act natural, ignore the voices, and concentrate on the task at hand.

 

[T-Dawg]

But I didn't say anything about taking meds though, I asked if you talked to anyone.

And I said that if I talked to them, they'll put me on meds (or worse, arrest me for thinking suicidal thoughts or put me in an assylum for thinking "insane" thoughts). Most people aren't intelligent as you guys. People in "real life" are cold, brutal, nonsensical, and evil, especially the adults. You can't say anything to them without them holding it against you. Why do you think I spend all my time talking on forum sites?

You must be content with not knowing and try to enjoy life.

How am I supposed to enjoy life when it's pointless and when I know that every physical pleasure is temporary and of no value and every spiritual pleasure is a fleeting illusion?

Anyways, it sounds like you're having trouble with girls too. The voices you're hearing don't seem to do you any good.

The voices ARE the girls, or at least most of them are. The more girls hurt me, the more and louder the voices. I've already been through FIVE rejections, and two of them I'm certain were sent by The Evil to torment me (one of them might have been an unwitting tool of The Evil), and another one I'm not sure about. I think The First is slowly dying off as she fails to bring me down (actually, she keeps making comebacks, it'll be a while before she gives up), but The Second is far more than enough to replace her. There's no way I'm going to survive if a Third voice is added.

Best to act natural, ignore the voices, and concentrate on the task at hand.

Act natural while simulataneously ignoring the voices? How? The voices dictate what "natural" is...
Concetrate on the task at hand... that's the point - what task?

 

[DallasApple]

I took Resperdol to help me sleep..I took it one or two times and said forget it.I was so drugged up it wasnt even funny.

I think my doctor was the crazy one.Giving me a high powered anti psychotic as a sleep aid? I said I needed more sleep AT NIGHT..Not to wake up and be in a stupor all day.

Love

Dallas

 

[monta]

I took Resperdol to help me sleep..I took it one or two times and said forget it.I was so drugged up it wasnt even funny.

I think my doctor was the crazy one.Giving me a high powered anti psychotic as a sleep aid? I said I needed more sleep AT NIGHT..Not to wake up and be in a stupor all day.

Love

Dallas

I mean Yikes, Dallas I hope you have a different doctor now.