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Featured Is marriage the cure for peoples problems?

Discussion in 'General Religious Debates' started by Riders, Apr 19, 2019.

  1. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    I put this in religious debate because marriage and having families tends to be very important in most religions, the bible says to go forth and plant the seed or raise children is what it means, replenish the earth.

    My sister is a conservative Baptist Christian ,she had a fairytail marriage more or less, she and her husband have 2 businesses lots of money and she teaches music.

    They had 4 kids and life seems perfect for them. But the bible says to be married or not? I was saying last night my sponsor in my addiction program was telling me how lonely I am, I have no family, I have no transportation I cant work outside the house and Ive been stuck at home alone the last month it sucks.

    I do get lonely and she worries that Ill be in my addiction again. I was telling her Im planning on going to church next month, probably Unity, I know if I can get in a church group and also in counseling itll help me out so much.

    She said " Why don't you find a man and get married then you wont have to be in the self hep program or counseling and it'll solve all your problems>" Christians think this a lot, that for folks who have addictions oh if they could only marry the right person they could get straightened out............

    If you watch intervention about drug addicts and alcoholics mostly a lot of them did that, maybe for awhile they were married , they might have gotten off of drugs or drinking for awhile because they had a kid or got married fell in love.....but it always comes back.

    I can not depend on a man to solve my problems for me...................its typical the bible does say to go and replenish the earth get married and have kids so......
     
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  2. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

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    I think the biggest mistake is getting compelled into doing something 'just because'.........

    Sure there's going to be successes time to time. They happen, but I'd say the statistics involving Christian divorces suggest going about doing things in your own time, not somebody else's.
     
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  3. Altfish

    Altfish Well-Known Member

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    Is marriage the cure for peoples problems?

    NO
     
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  4. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    Expecting one's spouse to solve one's problems for them is a pretty sure way to doom a marriage.
     
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  5. Vee

    Vee Active Member
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    Marriage can be a great experience if you do it for the right reasons, but marrying just because you're lonely might end up being worse in the long run. If you find the right person, sure, build a life together. But loneliness can make people do desperate things; like marrying the wrong person, and they end up more unhappy than before, so be careful about who you bring into your life.
    God told Adam and Eve to fill the earth but it looks like that job is done. In some parts of the world there are too many people already. The Bible doesn't say that everyone must get married and have a family. You're not less valuable or less loved if you don't. That's entirely up to you.
    Take care.
     
  6. Shad

    Shad Veteran Member

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    Horrible advise in itself as it ignored the problems you have connecting with people in general.
     
  7. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    We went past the point of no return long ago.
     
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  8. Father Heathen

    Father Heathen Veteran Member

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    Blindly and hastefully jumping into a serious, long-term, committed relationship - especially when one already has a heap of issues on their plate - would create far more problems than it would solve.
     
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  9. Sky Rivers

    Sky Rivers Active Member

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    As Christians, we are to rely on God, not on man. If you have great crisis, is it wise to bring another into that? Perhaps first it is best to resolve the crisis? Perhaps before this, we are to get right with God and our crisis may be overcome through him?
     
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  10. Sanzbir

    Sanzbir Well-Known Member

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    Not just "most religions", basically every single human culture has independently come up with the concept of marriage unions. It clearly must serve some biological or evolutionary function. Is it the "cure" for all problems?? No. Is it the "cure" for some problems?? Yes. Is it important?? Clearly yes, or else it wouldn't be a facet of basically all of human culture.
     
  11. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    I agree with all said here. But still a lot of people do it get married thinking its gonna change their life. I think finding a good church for singles who are lonely is a good idea. Im going to Unity next month . They've got lots of good stuff there. They teach the bible from a perspective, that does not teach it as the perfect word of God, literal belief in Jesus is not taught there. But Christians are welcome there but folks from other religions are too.

    They've got some neat stuff, I think they've got meditation classes, and drum jams musical performances fun stuff too movies and all that.

    I would like to get involved at Unity.
     
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  12. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    Let me echo that NO.

    The vast majority of people very much are helped by connections to other people. And sometimes marriage provides that. But it's not always true and there are horrible marriages that can wind up with tragic consequences.

    My wife and I have a great marriage now but we went through probably seven years of very hard times before we worked it out. Others might not have lasted, we almost didn't. A big part of what we had to do is work on problems especially including communication issues, housework division including male/female roles and so forth.
     
  13. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    Life is like a dance. It's OK to dance alone.
     
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  14. ADigitalArtist

    ADigitalArtist Well-Known Member
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    Imo marriage should never be to remedy a problem. Be that problem an unexpected pregnancy, fear that a partner couldn't commit without it, loneliness or grief for a previous departed partner. It's something people do to avoid addressing the problem. It should be something people do because they already have the understanding, communication and commitment *before* the marriage
     
  15. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    I agree with that. Also, some healthy friendships. Some kind of community life, some healthy friendships, and some kind of service to some community that you're part of. While you're waiting for those things to happen, make time for them in your life, and fantasize them. Even better, roleplay them. Wish for some kind of community life, some healthy friendships, some kind of service to some community that you're part of. Make time for all that in your life, fantasize it and roleplay it. Also, learning some new craft or skill, or way of doing things. Some better way of doing things, or some kind of self-improvement, for something that you believe in. Those are all just some ideas that came to me, things that I've seen that help improve people's lives. Learn how to be a better friend to someone in your life, how to be someone for them to talk to, and get some encouragement and support for the challenges they're facing, and whatever good they're trying to do. Spend time with friends who are good for you, and learn to be a better friend for someone else. Spend time in a community that's good for you, and learn to be good for it. If there's any of that you don't know how to do, wish for it, make time for it in your life, fantasize it and roleplay it.
     
  16. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Well I have friends I know in my 12 step self help group and I do community work for that. I moderate a telephone meeting on friday nights tonight. I also have friends from my Moms AA meetings so Ive got a few friends not a lot. But I would love to join with a church.
     
  17. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    You don't need a lot of friends. Just a few friends who are good for you. From what you say, it looks to me like you're doing all the right things, for your life to get better. Also, stop to enjoy the scenery sometimes. Sorry for the troubles along the way.
     
  18. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Thanks.
     
  19. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Same here, only it might have been more than seven years. One of the best lessons I've learned is not to think about how to solve the problems between us that she complains about, while she's complaining about them. Just listen, and let her see that I'm listening and hearing.
     
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  20. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the comments about marriage. That helps. Im only 52 I suspect theres still time for me.
     
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