Is a prostitute and one-night stand the same?

[nnmartin]

I would say yes, there is no difference whatsoever in performing with a prostitute or having a one-night stand.

The only thing it comes down to is the belief that with a one-nighter there is some kind chance that the girl/man actually fancies you. However whether they do or not is utterly meaningless as there is no love involved.

Handing over money to a girl afterwards is no different to handing over your phone number, or money for drinks and meal.

exactly the same, except one's ego feels bigger with a one-nighter as it believes it has scored the 'real thing'.

agree, disagree?

 

[InformedIgnorance]

For starters I would suggest that a tryst with a prostitute might be either singular or recurring in nature, however regardless of the frequency it is in the end a commercial agreement (a legally binding contract if it is legal in that jurisdiction) to exchange a service for (presumably) cash. On the other hand a one night stand is fundamentally different in that it is not a commercial agreement (legally binding or otherwise) it is simply two or more parties getting together to commit sexual activities for their own purposes, which may simply be the sating of physical urges or more complex desires such as wanting to attract a partner initially consorted with on a purely sexual basis, the desire to become pregnant, wanting to infect someone with a disease or so forth - by comparison, if your area has legalised and regulated prostitution, these risks might actually be less prevalent among prostitutes given mandatory screening and so forth.

In terms of the costs, well they are about the same - depending on your taste in partner lol
In terms of the 'morality', I see no difference unless any party is being forced, though you might find yourself inadvertently party to an affair if you are (not) lucky
In terms of the social implications, I believe a one night stand is considered better, because paying for sex is considered 'immoral' or 'lame' by many people
In terms of the outcomes, one night stands are more risky, but with a chance for a better pay off such as repeat performance

 

[nnmartin]

In terms of the social implications, I believe a one night stand is considered better, because paying for sex is considered 'immoral' or 'lame' by many people

yes, this is the point I am getting at.

considered immoral or lame is interesting in the sense of why people actually think like this.

It has occurred to me recently that many people only think this due to subliminal Judeo-Christian indoctrination creeping into their mindset, whether they are Christian or not. In fact this is quite ironic really as I'm sure the ones saying 'lame' etc.. may well find the church abhorrent - yet they are still slaves to its values.

of course, this would only really apply to those bred in a Christian country but it seems to me that one cannot get away from this force.

Lame is also interesting because it is only thought so as it is perceived as an ego bashing by those who can rack up the bed post notch count. How can Jack the Lad be so special if the supposed 'dweeb' next door is getting more action than him?

Paying or not paying, is there really any difference?

 

[wubs23]

So.. what if I don't pay anything for the girl i'm having a one-night-stand with, and I don't give her my phone number?

How exactly is this prostitution then?

 

[Me Myself]

I will never allow a girl to give me her phone number after a one night stand know.

I would feel so dirty...

Nah, just kidding, I would totally do it for money even if she was hot.

Now more to the point: No. If it is not in exchange for money or an equivalent that is worth money it is not prostitution.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

What many men forget is, that there are just as many women looking for sex as there are men on the hunt.
One night stands are rarely "Accidental" They suit both parties.

Some one night stands are more about seduction... on either persons part.... these are planned and are more akin to point scoring.

Hiring the services of a prostitute of either sex is a business transaction.

 

[Kerr]

I would say yes, there is no difference whatsoever in performing with a prostitute or having a one-night stand.

The only thing it comes down to is the belief that with a one-nighter there is some kind chance that the girl/man actually fancies you. However whether they do or not is utterly meaningless as there is no love involved.

Handing over money to a girl afterwards is no different to handing over your phone number, or money for drinks and meal.

exactly the same, except one's ego feels bigger with a one-nighter as it believes it has scored the 'real thing'.

agree, disagree?

Disagree. Prostitution is not defined by the lack of love. If it was then someone who is in love with a prostitute and buys sex from her is not buying sex from a prostitute. Handing over your phone number can hardly be called payment and the rest is, well, its like saying being social is about buying people. Its not.

EDIT:

Saw this series where the main female character had some rather odd social habits. For example when she went to get a one night stand she would look around for a guy she liked and then literally go up to him and ask if he wanted to sleep with her. No money, no phone number, no drinks, no meals. Would that be prostitution?

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

EDIT:

Saw this series where the main female character had some rather odd social habits. For example when she went to get a one night stand she would look around for a guy she liked and then literally go up to him and ask if he wanted to sleep with her. No money, no phone number, no drinks, no meals. Would that be prostitution?

Nothing odd about that at all...
It is what many men do as well.

Goose and gander come to mind.

 

[wubs23]

What if I would go to an actual prostitute, and had sex with her twice.

And after this, pay her 100 euro.

And after she got this money, she would pay me 100 euro back. (lets say because she liked it)

Are we now both prostitutes? Or neither?

 

[Madhuri]

Depends perhaps on whose perspective we are looking at this from. For the one taking advantage of the prostitute or partner of a one-night stand, the only difference may be in the money vs free.

For the prostitute or partner in the one-night stand, it is very different. In the first instance, it is a job. In the second, it is a pleasure or curiosity or some other motivation.

I suppose that in this scenario, both are put on the platform of customer rather than prostitute, unless one of the people in the one-night stand scenario is naive enough to expect something more from it.

 

[Sunstone]

Yes! Prostitution and a one-night stand are indeed the same -- in much the same way that a battleship and a rowboat are also the same since both of them float.

More seriously, the notion the two things have much of anything in common sounds prudish.

 

[zenzero]

Friend nnmartin,

Is a prostitute and one-night stand the same?

Though am asexual but understand that those males who go either for prostitutes or one night stands are only looking for a release of their energy which they have not been able to raise through higher levels of chakra and so both are ways that one is comfortable with. One may find visiting prostitutes more comfortable than to fix a one night stand.

Over to you.

Love & rgds

 

[blackout]

Only if she buys him a bottle first.

 

[Kerr]

Nothing odd about that at all...
It is what many men do as well.

Goose and gander come to mind.

That was not the odd part. The odd part was how she started her laptop and started to watch dismembered corpses directly after sleeping with the guy, with him beside her... and no, it was nothing sexual, she was a police officer and the corpses in question was related to her case . Funny thing was she didnt understand why he suddenly wanted to leave, lol.

EDIT.

To be honest, I dont know what is odd or not when it comes to ne night stands. Have never had one. Dont want to have one either, it doesnt seem to be what I want.

 

[LegionOnomaMoi]

To be honest, I dont know what is odd or not when it comes to ne night stands. Have never had one. Dont want to have one either, it doesnt seem to be what I want.

I've never had a one night stand either, never want to, and dislike the idea. But as far as the OP goes, it doesn't matter if one dislikes it for my reaons, or for the reasons my ultra-conservative "fundamentalist catholic" brother does, that doesn't make it prostitution (I'm not trying to imply you are equating the two at all, by the way, I'm just using your post as a starting point to address the OP). To equate the two is just ridiculous. If one wants to argue that, for example, any sexual act which is not intended to produce a child (from masterbation to "making out") is wrong, then obviously both prostitution and a one night stand are wrong. It doesn't make them the same under any semantic model, philosophy of language, or whatever else one might apply here.

As for the reasoning applied by the OP:

Handing over money to a girl afterwards is no different to handing over your phone number, or money for drinks and meal.

So if one repeatedly handed over "money for drinks and a meal" instead of just for one night, then it's not prostitution anymore?

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

agree, disagree?

Disagree of course.

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

Ethically they're different, but psychologically, they're pretty similar. But I have another point I want to address to nnmartin:

It has occurred to me recently that many people only think this due to subliminal Judeo-Christian indoctrination creeping into their mindset, whether they are Christian or not. In fact this is quite ironic really as I'm sure the ones saying 'lame' etc.. may well find the church abhorrent - yet they are still slaves to its values.

of course, this would only really apply to those bred in a Christian country but it seems to me that one cannot get away from this force.

What exactly do you mean by this? Are you suggesting that sexual misconduct or sexual immorality is only something that is disdained by Christians or Christian values? What about eastern countries, where Christianity has never had a foothold, yet the morality on sexuality is similar? Is this due to Christianity?

 

[Levite]

I would say yes, there is no difference whatsoever in performing with a prostitute or having a one-night stand.

The only thing it comes down to is the belief that with a one-nighter there is some kind chance that the girl/man actually fancies you. However whether they do or not is utterly meaningless as there is no love involved.

Handing over money to a girl afterwards is no different to handing over your phone number, or money for drinks and meal.

exactly the same, except one's ego feels bigger with a one-nighter as it believes it has scored the 'real thing'.

agree, disagree?

I absolutely disagree that it has to be the same thing. It can be made into effectively the same thing, but by no means need it be so.

I personally was never much one for one-nighters, but I did have a couple. They were terrific experiences of getting to know an interesting new person, sharing a fantastic and fun experience with them, and not feeling pressure for it to be any more than two people exploring and sharing with one another. In all cases, I ended up being friends with the girl involved, and neither of us ever regretted the sex, nor did we regret not trying to make the sex into a relationship.

Sex doesn't have to be about people using one another, any more than it has to be about the establishment and maintenance of a monogamous heterosexual relationship. Sex is an opportunity to have intimate knowledge of someone else, and to share a personal experience with them. People can take that opportunity to any number of differing degrees, and experience it in any number of different ways-- many if not most of which are by no means the same, or even similar to a person paying someone for the use of their body.

Incidentally, in none of the cases of my one-nighters did I pay for dinner/drinks and then expect sex in return (and the same thing was true in many if not most of the one-nighters that I know of that my friends experienced). In only one of those cases did we even have a "date" beforehand, and on that occasion we went Dutch (we split the bill evenly); another was a hookup at a party, another I met while filming a movie, and after hanging out we just decided to hook up.

And as a final note, I think reasonably mature people don't "keep score," in the sense of marking metaphorical notches on the bedpost, or feeling some sort of victory in adding to a tally. As with a lot of fun activities, sex beomes appreciably less fun when one starts keeping score.

 

[Sunstone]

...there is no difference whatsoever...

I wonder whether many people -- including the author of the OP -- have sufficient practical experience of both prostitution and one-night stands to give us a reasonably informed opinion on this issue. If not, this thread seems to me likely to descend into the sort of wild speculation that can justly be called "mental masturbation".

Having said all that, I will take a shot at this mental masturbation -- masturbation, because my own experience of both prostitution and one-night stands, while not entirely absent, is somewhat limited.

It seems to me false and misleading to suggest that no love is ever involved in one-night stands. I can recall a one-night stand I had with a woman I was very much in love with -- and still am in love with. The one-night stand we had was exploratory. That is, we were finding out whether we were sexually compatible. As it happened, we were not. So our relationship took a platonic turn. But for the OP to suggest that there is never love involved in that one-night stand strikes me as a naive idea, for now and then there can be.

Furthermore, it seems to me that what I just described happens a lot -- that is, a lot of one-night stands come about because couples are testing whether or not they are sexually compatible -- and discovering that they are not. But, as a general rule, you do not go to a prostitute merely in order to test whether you are sexually compatible with her or him.

So that would seem to me one possible difference between a one-night stand and prostitution, contra the OP.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I was a one night stand once. This chick in a bar picked me up, said I was going to be her birthday present. I gave her my number but she never called me. I was a bit disappointed but hey, it was still a fun night. Since I didn't get paid and had to buy my own drinks I don't really think there was any prostitution involved. :no: