Father and Daughter Showering Together

[eudaimonia]

If the father is a pedophile, then age 0. (i.e. not at all)

If the father is not a pedophile, then no age limit, especially if the family practices nudism. Nudity =/= sex.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Well, if the father is a pedophile, they shouldn't even be around children period, whether in the shower or not. :cover:




Peace,
Mystic

 

[Aeiralo]

Two or three I would say.

A little older if the parent is the mother.

Its just natural, showering.

 

[nutshell]

Some posters have said or impied that anything beyond the toddler years would be "weird."

What does "weird" mean? Do you consider it wrong or just not for you? What else do you consider weird as a comparison?

 

[Quiddity]

Some posters have said or impied that anything beyond the toddler years would be "weird."

What does "weird" mean? Do you consider it wrong or just not for you? What else do you consider weird as a comparison?

Icecream with mustard is just weird....
I suppose by "weird" I mean that I see my body (and everyone elses) as something only shared with your partner. There is nothing inherently wrong about it. Just like there is nothing inherently wrong with alcohol. What is wrong is what it's able to produce in a person. Alcohol produces an unstable state mind.

Our fallen nature is able to do all sorts of creative things when we see the human body (especially naked). Most of which I don't believe are healthy. So I have no intention of contributing to such a state of mind. Just like some would not allow their kids to watch a very violent movie.

 

[nutshell]

Icecream with mustard is just weird....
I suppose by "weird" I mean that I see my body (and everyone elses) as something only shared with your partner. There is nothing inherently wrong about it. Just like there is nothing inherently wrong with alcohol. What is wrong is what it's able to produce in a person. Alcohol produces an unstable state mind.

Our fallen nature is able to do all sorts of creative things when we see the human body (especially naked). Most of which I don't believe are healthy. So I have no intention of contributing to such a state of mind. Just like some would not allow their kids to watch a very violent movie.

Hmm...I think I understand what you're saying, but I must admit: I'm a bit frustrated by your comparison of a violent movie to the nudity of a parent.

 

[Quiddity]

Hmm...I think I understand what you're saying, but I must admit: I'm a bit frustrated by your comparison of a violent movie to the nudity of a parent.

Use whatever example you believe has a high chance of altering the human mind. Porno? As long as you get the point.

Happy 4,000 posts!

 

[lilithu]

IF and when either one of them becomes sexually stimulated, they should quit showering together. But otherwise, I don't really see any problem with it. Even though it might be a bit unusual in our culture for a father to shower with his post-pubic daughter, that's just our culture, and has nothing to do with the appropriateness of it.

For what reason would a father and post-pubescent daughter be showering together?

If we were all Japanese, we wouldn't be having this debate.

But we're not.

Also, I assume that in Japan it would be the whole family, not just the father and daughter. And it would be a LARGE bath, not a shower.


I don't know what the cut-off is, to answer the question in the OP. It would depend on the family. And I certainly think that a father and young daughter can bathe together in a non-erotic way that is emotionally beneficial for both. But no one is going to convince me that it's just my cultural biases that would cause me to raise an eyebrow at this practice continuing into the pre-teen years. Even if no physical sex is going on, something is amiss.

 

[Comprehend]

Some posters have said or impied that anything beyond the toddler years would be "weird."

What does "weird" mean? Do you consider it wrong or just not for you? What else do you consider weird as a comparison?

Weird like me putting on a diaper and doing my business would be weird. :cover:

I guess I could do it, but there is no good reason to. I see no reason for the average person to do either.

 

[lilithu]

The cycle kind of went like this:

1) I was completely responsible for bathing them as babies/toddlers
2) Kids showered with me by the time they began their curiosity of "how-to-shower-like-mum-or-dad" phase
3) Kids wanted to shower or bathe by themselves to practice those bathing skills, but still want me around to help or check to make sure they're clean
4) Kids get heebie-jeebies being naked around me, and then request I leave them alone (which I then respect)

This sounds very reasonable to me.

If however for some reason the kid never moved beyond stages 2 or 3 by a certain age (again, I'm not sure what that age is - it would depend on the kid), I would be getting the heebie-jeebies myself and start insisting that they exercise a little more independence (and probably consulting a child psychiatrist).

 

[Jessica Magan]

I believe that around the ages of three or four. When the child is old enough to start noticing our differences in anatomy it would be wise for the parent to discontinue bathing together. You don't have to be a complete prude but teaching your children modesty and personal boundries is crucial to their well being.:rainbow1:

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

At what age do you think a father and daughter should quit showering together and why did you pick that age?

I nominate the OP for "Loaded Question of the Month" award.

 

[nutshell]

I nominate the OP for "Loaded Question of the Month" award.

Why??? Do you read the responses? There was nothing loaded about the question.

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

I would say when signs of puberty begin to show. It is hard to pick a specific age because girls reach puberty at different ages. I remember when I was little I used to run around the house naked and then one day my mom stopped me and said I was getting to be a big girl now. I felt self-conscious because I knew my body was changing. I felt like I was no longer daddy's little girl. Now, I know that no matter what I'll always be daddy's little girl. Ah well, soon I will have my husband's house to run around naked in (when the in-laws are not around of course).

On this one, I'd personally go with the Japanese point of view, Nutshell, because my intuition tells me "the family that splashes together sticks together". To get clinical about it: Showering is usually a pleasant activity, and so your daughters are likely to develope fond memories of showering with their dad. I not only see nothing wrong with that, I think it's a positive thing.

Showering is practical before it is sexual. It is an activity designed to clean the body and relax the mind. In my experience, showering with a partner is more intimate than sexual, as we are both sharing a relaxing and personal activity.

I imagine bathing has been a social activity in the past that was shared by family members and non-family members alike. Associating it with sex is a modern custom based probably on the sexualization of nudity in our culture.

If we were all Japanese, we wouldn't be having this debate.

If the father is a pedophile, then age 0. (i.e. not at all)

If the father is not a pedophile, then no age limit, especially if the family practices nudism. Nudity =/= sex.


eudaimonia,

Mark

I agree with all of the above. There's not much to add to it.

Why??? Do you read the responses? There was nothing loaded about the question.

Because it's very possible for a conversation such as this to go downhill.

Although I must admit, RF tends to handle these kinds of topics pretty well. Some boards can't even get off the first page without turning into a flame war....

 

[nutshell]

Yeah...I think we've done a good job with this thread.

 

[dawny0826]

I showered with my father when I was wee one, actually when my Mom was in the hospital, giving birth to my sister.

I was two and a half and I remember pointing to his private area and asking him what it was. He never put me in the shower with him again.

Every parenting book I've read has said about the same thing...that the age that children start to become aware of nudity is typically around age 3.

In our household, this has rang true. My husband has never bathed or showered with our children but I've bathed with my oldest and at around three years old, she started to point and ask questions. I answered her questions honestly and ceased to bathe or change around her.

I've been interrupted while trying to get dressed. I politely explain to my children that Mommies need their privacy.

Once Emmie started asking questions about the body, I informed her that our body parts belong to ourselves and people shouldn't touch our body parts and that we should keep our body parts to ourselves.

Every kid is different. Emily is quite inquisitive as I was at an early age. My two year old isn't as inquisitive as her sister was at this age.

Every parent is different as well.

I wouldn't have felt comfy at all bathing with a son. And my hubby would never bathe or shower with the girls.

 

[darkpenguin]

I see no problem with it so long as it's fine with both concerned, I bathed with my grandma until I was about 6 and it never did me any harm.
It's a shower people, to get clean you know the thing that you do in a shower.

 

[lombas]

I think there is no legal way to express the reasons why people shower and bathe together as there is little way to find out when it's done voluntarily.

I never spent any time with my parents in the same bathroom since I was about 9. Bathing together was not done, and I support that. But live and let live I'd say.

 

[Kungfuzed]

Father and daughter showering together is just too wierd for me. I don't even like person on the shampoo bottle staring at me when I'm showering and I'll turn it the other way. Unless you're having sex with me I don't want you seeing me naked. My daughter hasn't learned to be ashamed of her body yet and I do have to give her a bath when she visits. I'm clothed the entire time though. She's 6 years old.

What do you expect? I'm a virgo.

I also want to avoid the appearance of evil. I wouldn't want my daughter telling someone at school that she showers with her father and have social services knocking at my door.

 

[BFD_Zayl]

Father and daughter showering together is just too wierd for me. I don't even like person on the shampoo bottle staring at me when I'm showering and I'll turn it the other way. Unless you're having sex with me I don't want you seeing me naked. My daughter hasn't learned to be ashamed of her body yet and I do have to give her a bath when she visits. I'm clothed the entire time though. She's 6 years old.

What do you expect? I'm a virgo.

I also want to avoid the appearance of evil. I wouldn't want my daughter telling someone at school that she showers with her father and have social services knocking at my door.

or have a giant "amber alert" knocking down your door and beating the living crap out of you...or both at once.