Father and Daughter Showering Together

[angellous_evangellous]

A physiological interest rather than a sexual one, perhaps?

 

[Ðanisty]

I hope I did read it wrong, but you did say:
I am sure at one point he looked at me with interest

Not sure how else I can take that...

I think you're reading too much into it. I don't think "with interest" was ever meant to read as "with sexual interest."

Personally, I never showered with my father and the though of a daughter showering with a father squicks me out. It's not my problem to worry about though because I'm not having children...lol. I would say that it depends on the culture.

 

[Quiddity]

So you never remeber as a child seeing any part of your mother or father and looking at them with interest. It is obvious your mother had body parts that you did not so your telling me you would not be curious what they were...yes you are reading more into it then there is but that is up to you.

I'll read whatever you want me to read into it. You typed it, not me. I'm not fixated on attaching my own meaning... But your last post seems to support my original understanding, so what can I say? You see it as completely normal for a child to find interest in his/her parents. I do not. I'm not saying it doesn't happen (although it didn't with me), I'm simply saying that it's not healthy to do so. To each his own.

 

[Quiddity]

I think you're reading too much into it. I don't think "with interest" was ever meant to read as "with sexual interest."

I hope you are right. How did you take it? Where is the "interest" directed when showering naked?

 

[jacquie4000]

Victor...one when did I say the interest took place when showering naked? Not that i see anything wrong with it but I never showered with my son naked. However when he was younger he did see me come out of the shower and see me naked and was curious or had interest. One you assumed we took showers together which i never stated. Two like I said a child will usually chose when they are ready to be private about their bodies should they chose to do so. How many families go to nudiest camps together. Funny there is no huge problem of incest what does that tell you? Maybe it is not such a big deal after all ..........just a thought.

 

[Quiddity]

Victor...one when did I say the interest took place when showering naked? Not that i see anything wrong with it but I never showered with my son naked. However when he was younger he did see me come out of the shower and see me naked and was curious or had interest. One you assumed we took showers together which i never stated. Two like I said a child will usually chose when they are ready to be private about their bodies should they chose to do so. How many families go to nudiest camps together. Funny there is no huge problem of incest what does that tell you? Maybe it is not such a big deal after all ..........just a thought.

Very well then, I figured you were talking in the context of this thread. But thanks for the clarification.

I would be nice if wasn't a big deal. Unfortunately, I think our minds are far too fragile (especially with sexuality/human body) for most people to not extend their imagination. Some even acting it out. I have no intention of feeding such fragile a state of mind.

 

[jacquie4000]

I understand your thoughts Victor and can respect them. But I truely think if being naked around others were not made to be such a big deal or looked upon with shame as it can be it would not be a big deal to kids. Maybe by sheltering them to much we actually harm them. MY family had alot of friends from France going to these nudist camps were normal for them and the naked body was nothing to be ashamed about nor was their some major sexuall issues. It seems we have those more in the US where the naked body is such a big deal.

 

[Quiddity]

I understand your thoughts Victor and can respect them. But I truely think if being naked around others were not made to be such a big deal or looked upon with shame as it can be it would not be a big deal to kids. Maybe by sheltering them to much we actually harm them. MY family had alot of friends from France going to these nudist camps were normal for them and the naked body was nothing to be ashamed about nor was their some major sexuall issues. It seems we have those more in the US where the naked body is such a big deal.

Well, I hope you are right. I really do. But I've read enough stories of people in jail to know that sexuality is often mixed into create a very unstable person. I agree that we should be able to do what you are saying, I just don't think that is what is happening in our world today.

 

[Comprehend]

I voted that it is never appropriate. I have a 4 year old and I have never taken a bath or shower with her. I just think it is wierd.

I just can't imagine a good reason for a father to shower with his daughter.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Showering is practical before it is sexual. It is an activity designed to clean the body and relax the mind. In my experience, showering with a partner is more intimate than sexual, as we are both sharing a relaxing and personal activity.

I imagine bathing has been a social activity in the past that was shared by family members and non-family members alike. Associating it with sex is a modern custom based probably on the sexualization of nudity in our culture.

 

[Sunstone]

If we were all Japanese, we wouldn't be having this debate.

 

[Ody]

NO.

 

[jonny]

I think 'showing' with a kid is kind of weird. The kid can't even stand up - how is it supposed to shower. Playing in the bathtub on the other hand seems like it would be ok. I think that once a kid is one or two though they should probably not take baths/showers with adults.

 

[Tigress]

At what age do you think a father and daughter should quit showering together and why did you pick that age?

I think it's a matter best left up to the individual fathers and daughters in question, and what they're comfortable with. As Sunstone mentioned, if we were Japanese, or raised in Japanese culture, we likely wouldn't be having this discussion, as for them, bathing together as a family is a completely normal, natural thing.

 

[michel]

IF and when either one of them becomes sexually stimulated, they should quit showering together. But otherwise, I don't really see any problem with it. Even though it might be a bit unusual in our culture for a father to shower with his post-pubic daughter, that's just our culture, and has nothing to do with the appropriateness of it.

I agree; not having had a daughter, it is hard for me to have any relevent input. My gut feeling tells me though that you are right .and that is the "yardstick" I used with my sons . Both my wife and I have always made a point of being naked in front of our kids to promote the idea that there is nothing "shameful" in nakedness.........even though it took quite a bit of courage on our parts (having both grown up inhibitted ourselves).

Both of them stopped being naked in front of us when they reached puberty, yet seem totally unconcerned with our nakedness.

There can't be a "firm rule".......I guess, for me, the answer is "Go with the flow; when either of you feels uncomfortable, that's the time to stop".

 

[BrandonE]

There can't be a "firm rule".......I guess, for me, the answer is "Go with the flow; when either of you feels uncomfortable, that's the time to stop".

What he said. I don't have a daughter, but regularly shower with my 4yo son (a few times a week, maybe). He loves to shower with me like a "big boy". He showers with my wife on occasion too, though not as frequently. He occasionally makes a comment about some part of our bodies, but it is with the same innocence that he makes comments about bugs or cars or people out on the street. He's a curious little boy, and he's just learning new things continually. We're not nudists by any stretch of the imagination, but we don't think twice to walk around the house looking for clothes that may be in the dryer instead of the dresser. I can't say for certain that I'd feel the same if my child was a daughter instead of a son, but I like to think that I would.

 

[Ðanisty]

I think 'showing' with a kid is kind of weird. The kid can't even stand up - how is it supposed to shower. Playing in the bathtub on the other hand seems like it would be ok. I think that once a kid is one or two though they should probably not take baths/showers with adults.

I don't know. I think that's a bit young. I would think they should still be monitored at that age at the very least. I was taking baths by myself at the age of 6 though...I know that for sure.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I think the child will let you know. My son got to a certain age and things just changed, he was more private about his body around me. I think the time comes to them on their own.

I'm with you, sister-friend. All our kids reached that level at different ages, where their feelings of personal modesty trumped curiosity. The cycle kind of went like this:

1) I was completely responsible for bathing them as babies/toddlers
2) Kids showered with me by the time they began their curiosity of "how-to-shower-like-mum-or-dad" phase
3) Kids wanted to shower or bathe by themselves to practice those bathing skills, but still want me around to help or check to make sure they're clean
4) Kids get heebie-jeebies being naked around me, and then request I leave them alone (which I then respect)

There's nothing sexual about any of these activities, being naked around kids while they're naked around you. We're on the verge of having two teenaged kids in our family, and NO...........none of the kids are trying to screw their cousins or each other.

At least as far as know - they could surprise us in ten years or so when they lie down on a therapists couch, and then we might discover how much we've messed them up.





Peace,
Mystic

 

[michel]

At least as far as know - they could surprise us in ten years or so when they lie down on a therapists couch, and then we might discover how much we've messed them up.

Peace,
Mystic

Amen to that!

I wish there was a "How to be a parent" manual..........(but then again, all kids being different, I guess there ould never be one).

Talinkg of kids and "discoveries, and curiosities", I had a friend whose nephew was staying with him and his wife. One day my friend was doing some gardening, and his little nephew (about four and a half or five years old) came up to him and said "Uncle ********, I know the difference between little boys and little girls!"

Uncle ******** thought "O.K, I need to be careful here", and said "Oh that's clever of you, what is it?"

To which the little guy replied "Little girls have bottoms that go all the way round to the front":cover: .....I loved it.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Amen to that!

I wish there was a "How to be a parent" manual..........(but then again, all kids being different, I guess there ould never be one).

Steve and I do agree on our benchmark for how well we're doing with our kids - if they can stay out of prison and can be assisted in life through conventional psychiatric help, then we've done just fine.

Talinkg of kids and "discoveries, and curiosities", I had a friend whose nephew was staying with him and his wife. One day my friend was doing some gardening, and his little nephew (about four and a half or five years old) came up to him and said "Uncle ********, I know the difference between little boys and little girls!"

Uncle ******** thought "O.K, I need to be careful here", and said "Oh that's clever of you, what is it?"

To which the little guy replied "Little girls have bottoms that go all the way round to the front":cover: .....I loved it.

Oh, that's clever! I love it!





Peace,
Mystic