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Dear Revoltingest
- Thread starter Revoltingest
- Start date
Tumah
Veteran Member
Dear Revoltingest,
I'm at a loss what to do. I just haven't been making as many frubals as I thought I would. My wife keeps looking at other posters with so many frubals and keeps making comments like, "I wish you had more frubals," "why can't you get more frubals?" "did you get any more frubals yet?" I don't know if its the recession and people are just more frugal with their frubals. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough? I take every opportunity to point out mistakes that people here make. I just thought they'd be more grateful for the help and I would have a nice nest egg by now. How can I keep the frubals coming and the wife happy? Its just too much pressure and I don't know what to do.
Sincerely Fishing for Frubals
I'm at a loss what to do. I just haven't been making as many frubals as I thought I would. My wife keeps looking at other posters with so many frubals and keeps making comments like, "I wish you had more frubals," "why can't you get more frubals?" "did you get any more frubals yet?" I don't know if its the recession and people are just more frugal with their frubals. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough? I take every opportunity to point out mistakes that people here make. I just thought they'd be more grateful for the help and I would have a nice nest egg by now. How can I keep the frubals coming and the wife happy? Its just too much pressure and I don't know what to do.
Sincerely Fishing for Frubals
oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
I've never ever seen one before.
Presumably it steers with two 'joysticks', like an argo-cat, tank, etc.
Amazing......
oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
Dear Revolting,
Many many thanks for your wonderful advice. Several raunchy films were played in view of my best breeders with no effect, but then Mrs B tried the animated film 'Madagascar', and as soon as the penguins started singing the whole breeding stable erupted into wild orgy. There's frogs-spawn all over the place. Toronto Tornado Tadpole championships, here I come!
I hate to bring up the disgusting subject, but where do I send the cheque?
Dear Fishing For Frubals,
Thank you for sharing your frubular frustration with that vaunted group of intellectuals who are my devoted readers. Your query is timely, since I recently expressed my distaste for this whole awarding of shields & quantification of approval we call the "frubal". It all seems so catering-to-the-queen-bees of grade school cliques. So even before you asked, I had already formulated the answer. But first some questions:
Do you receive accolades from those you respect? Do you reciprocate when a post of theirs touches your heart, thinking organ or funny bone? If your answer is yes, then your numerical score matters naught. When posting, do not try...simply post according to what you want to express. The results will be perfect every time. But, you ask, what of scurrilous wags who unjustly attack you? Even this is your opportunity, nay your duty, to show who you are in your response. Whether you deftly skewer the trolls or seek peace, you are who you are, so it's all good. Enjoy your newfound independence.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
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DreadFish
Cosmic Vagabond
Dear Revoltingest,
thank you for your guidance regarding this issue; I have decided that I will write a question to you.
Sincerely,
Cluelessly Curious
Dear Revoltingest,
Earlier I asked you a question about asking you a question and, following your advice, I wanted to ask you a question. The question I wanted to ask you today is, how much wood can a woodchuck really chuck? Specifically, I am talking about the hard apple cider brand, Woodchuck. Is it possible that such a beverage could actually chuck wood? and if so, how much? If not, is there anything that it can chuck?
Sincerely,
Stuck on the Chuck
Dear Stuck on the Chuck,
Thank you for posing your hypothetical question to us all. Alas, beverages cannot chuck wood.
However, in a related matter, singer Ron Wood has no doubt up chucked adult beverages.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
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DreadFish
Cosmic Vagabond
Dear Revoltingest,
Im a fake doctor shamelessly trying to promote my thread in another subform. Click Here Free Money!!!
Would you give me a celebrity endorsement? I promise to give you a discount, should you ever wish to post in it: only $5 per question! YOU'RE A WINNER!!!
Sincerely,
Doctor who??
Im a fake doctor shamelessly trying to promote my thread in another subform. Click Here Free Money!!!
Would you give me a celebrity endorsement? I promise to give you a discount, should you ever wish to post in it: only $5 per question! YOU'RE A WINNER!!!
Sincerely,
Doctor who??
Dear Doctor Who,
Thank you for sharing your need with my readers. Alas, I am not a celebrity.
But after perusing the internet for an appropriately rich & famous spokesperson,
I recommend Kim Kardashian.
She offers more celebrity poundage per dollar than any other.
Good luck in your phaux physician endeavor.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
Has it really been half a year since anyone has sought my advice?
Dear Concerned Fan,
Thank you for your sincere inquiry about my health & education. I do take precautions against the little beasties inhabiting the bowls in the RF lavatory. I never perform this work with a cut or other break in the skin. I also avoid splashing the contents into my face. Sometimes, other posters want to help out. (It's never RF staff. They're a snooty bunch, & such work is deemd appropriate only for ordinary members & other pariahs.) So I hold short seminars on safe turd herding for qualified posters.
I know what you're hinting at. Curiosity is good. So come on over....the water is fine!
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
Thank you for your sincere inquiry about my health & education. I do take precautions against the little beasties inhabiting the bowls in the RF lavatory. I never perform this work with a cut or other break in the skin. I also avoid splashing the contents into my face. Sometimes, other posters want to help out. (It's never RF staff. They're a snooty bunch, & such work is deemd appropriate only for ordinary members & other pariahs.) So I hold short seminars on safe turd herding for qualified posters.
I know what you're hinting at. Curiosity is good. So come on over....the water is fine!
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
Yerda
Veteran Member
Dear Revoltingest,
It's good to hear that you take precautions. I for one am quite relieved. Now if you could just clean up the mess I've made....
Caught Short
Dear Caught Short,
Why, of course I'll clean up. I'm head janitor here. (The only janitor here.)
Cheers,
Revoltingest
Dear Revoltingest,
I've been needing to use the Women's bathroom, but the janitor seems to be taking an extraordinary amount of time getting the facilities working.
How do I politely tell him to "wrap it up" so things may flow smoothly around here?
Make it quick, please.
Best Regards,
Doing the Anxious Dance
I've been needing to use the Women's bathroom, but the janitor seems to be taking an extraordinary amount of time getting the facilities working.
How do I politely tell him to "wrap it up" so things may flow smoothly around here?
Make it quick, please.
Best Regards,
Doing the Anxious Dance
Dear Doing The Anxious Dance,
Thank you for sharing your pressing personal problem with my readers. Budget cuts were necessary in the RF maintenance department because the price of caviar increased so much. The staff banquet hall would've had to cut back from 3 gallons a day to a mere 2, & that would've been unacceptable. Thus, the women's room janitor was let go. I'm picking up the slack, & just finished clearing stall #3. You may use it now. I'll be in #4 working on it, just in case you have any concerns.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
Dear Wet Myself Laughing,
Thank you for sharing your follow up question with my readers. Nothing goes better with humor than water closet difficulties, so it always remains fresh, & never loses its charm.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest
Dear Revoltingest,
Would you be a dear and pass some toilet paper under the stall partition?
Signed,
In Limbo
Dear In Limbo,
Thank you for sharing your request. Alas, we're out of TP, but I can give you singles for a five.
Sincerely,
Revoltingest