Can't I just stop? (masturbating)

[DallasApple]

Something about the hormones does it. You know, sorta like how steroids make one bigger, except it's "natural."

Umm...Never heard of such a thing..But in any case if there is any truth to it what would the harm be?(and by "young age Im assuming you mean not a "child" but "young adult).

So if wrong circumstances can affect your mind negatively, why do they have one-night stands? Is the "wrong" set of circumstances different for different people?

Yes I would say so.We all have varying degrees of sensitivety to having sex under any given circumstances.I will say that for most..if its a 'relationship" not a one night stand having sex together intensifies the "bond" and so if there is a break up or infraction of trust the pain can be magnified because you had been sexually intimate.

It's not, I just never understood how the heck it's supposed to be fun. It's not like when you hug a girl, and that feeling lasts for days and you keep fantasizing over it for weeks... when it comes to sex (or masturbation, at least), the pleasure is over when the pleasure is over, and you can't really remember it much afterwards. It's sort of like an addictive drug - addictive, and too intense to be that pleasurable. And back then, I was taught that sex felt exactly the same as a nocturnal emission, so you can see why I didn't understand the concept.

As others have mentioned masturbation is in a different catergory.Its "fun" when you are with another person because you are at (hopefully) a deep level of trust and making each other feel really good and interacting on a base intimate level.Like the "hug' you said..In fact hugs do (from my understanding) release "feel good chemicals" in our brains leaving us with a feeling of well being that can linger..Same with sex but magnified.And it can be "addictive"..Because as humans..we want to feel good..things that make us "feel good" we gravitate to.

And back then, I was taught that sex felt exactly the same as a nocturnal emission, so you can see why I didn't understand the concept.

Nocturnal emmisions are usually as a result of needing release and you "dream" of sex and ..well you know..it comes out...Nothing even close to actually being awake and having sex with another human being.

Love

Dallas

 

[Tiapan]

I think your problem is simply you need to take the next step. Find an opposite and explore your biological differences then you may find why the french say
"Viv Le difference."

Cheers

You are young, sex is apparently a temporary focus of your current conscious. Soon you will find it it s only part of the glory we call life. Dont worry you still have plenty of time to explore.

Cheers

 

[DallasApple]

As for the pain, if you're masturbating pretty much at every opportunity, it's possible you've just rubbed yourself raw.

DUDE!!! I SPEWED at this one..!!! LOL!!

Too true...

Can happen to the best of us!!!

Love

Dallas

 

[YmirGF]

DUDE!!! I SPEWED at this one..!!! LOL!!

Too true...

Can happen to the best of us!!!

Love

Dallas

It does sound like the lad is flogging a dead horse.

I was going to say, "Good grief, man, get a hold of yourself!" but thought later that that is probably the cause of the alleged problem.

I can hardly wait till the day when he feels compelled to say to his mate, "I'm not a machine!"

 

[DallasApple]

It does sound like the lad is flogging a dead horse.

I was going to say, "Good grief, man, get a hold of yourself!" but thought later that that is probably the cause of the alleged problem.

I can hardly wait till the day when he feels compelled to say to his mate, "I'm not a machine!"

Tee hee!!!

Oh well..He will learn..

WHOA Horsey! Calm down!

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

I can hardly wait till the day when he feels compelled to say to his mate, "I'm not a machine!"

This whole thing is cracking me up now.Im not trying to be mean or anything.

I just dont know what he's going to do if he gets an aggressive girl on his hands.(and he is WAY past the need it every 3 hours stage).

And she is like holding a whip and scathing!

And he will be like "give me break lady!"

I bet his "headaches" will come in handy then!(not now dear ..I have a headache).

Love

Dallas

 

[T-Dawg]

I agree.He keeps saying sex is "bad".He hates sex ..make it go away..And he hasnt even had sex yet.

Sex itself isn't bad (well, it might be), but sexual urges are NOT fun. It's like being hungry knowing that the next time you're able to eat is hours away, except that it's years instead of hours. Even if I was ready to have sex right now, I wouldn't be able to. I just now, not even 20 minutes ago, had my first date (or at least I think it was a date). It'll be years before I get to sex, even if I don't wait until marriage.

TAL seems almost "tortured" over the whole idea of his sexuality and his desires.I guess I could say I used to be too..But not so much over masturbation.

I really wish someone could grab hold of him and make him repeat after them.Sex is one of the most natural things in the world..And if treated with respect is a GOOD thing in life to have.

Sex isn't any more good than eating, in fact, it's a lot like eating except that it's not necessary for life (for the life of the species, it is, but not for the individual). Hunger feels bad and doesn't go away until you eat, and eating itself feels good (usually). Sexual arousal feels bad and doesn't go away until you masturbate or have sex, and masturbation and sex themselves feel good, when the person is physically not-messed-up (usually).

The headaches, you say, are less severe when you visualize than when you use visual aids. That seems to suggest that the headaches have a psychological origin rather than an organic origin. If masturbation doesn't always cause headaches then it's unlikely that masturbation is the problem.As for the pain, if you're masturbating pretty much at every opportunity, it's possible you've just rubbed yourself raw. Anything can be harmful in excess. If the pain is clearly not just a case of damaging the skin by too much friction, you should see a doctor. There are all kinds of things that can go wrong with the foreskin, and most of them are easily resolved. There may be some other problem, too, but you never know unless you get it checked out.

I think that might be it. But then, yesterday, I hadn't masturbated all that day, and it hurt more than ever. Maybe I need to wait a bit longer. I wish I didn't have to masturbate though. I think it's made things worse in the long run.

Nocturnal emmisions are usually as a result of needing release and you "dream" of sex and ..well you know..it comes out...Nothing even close to actually being awake and having sex with another human being.

I'm supposed to dream of sex when having a nocturnal emission? The only time I dreamed of sex, I didn't have a nocturnal emission, and all my emissions just came randomly. It might also be signifigant that I haven't had a single nocturnal emission since I started masturbating.

I bet his "headaches" will come in handy then!(not now dear ..I have a headache).

Maybe that's why the headaches are there XD. Practice for having a wife XD. Lol.

 

[DallasApple]

Sex itself isn't bad (well, it might be), but sexual urges are NOT fun. It's like being hungry knowing that the next time you're able to eat is hours away, except that it's years instead of hours. Even if I was ready to have sex right now, I wouldn't be able to. I just now, not even 20 minutes ago, had my first date (or at least I think it was a date). It'll be years before I get to sex, even if I don't wait until marriage.

Yes ..sometimes we have to delay gratification.As with many things.Wanting and needing doesnt have to equate to torture..It could be since we cant snap our fingers and get what we want the minute we want it we value it more.And congratulations on your DATE!!! Hi five!

Sex isn't any more good than eating, in fact, it's a lot like eating except that it's not necessary for life (for the life of the species, it is, but not for the individual). Hunger feels bad and doesn't go away until you eat, and eating itself feels good (usually). Sexual arousal feels bad and doesn't go away until you masturbate or have sex, and masturbation and sex themselves feel good, when the person is physically not-messed-up (usually).

You are CORRECT sex isnt neccessary for you to survive individually.Its an enrichment a "base need" and an insticual need that if met can make you better well adjusted and happier person.Just like you and I dont need to ever "talk" to another person again.We wont "die" from not talking.As long as we have food and water we will live.We arent going to die from never seeing or talkign to another human being again.But we are "happier" and live a fuller more enriched life if we get that interaction with another human being.Sex is like talking not neseesary but good for emotional health and that trickles down to physical.

I'm supposed to dream of sex when having a nocturnal emission? The only time I dreamed of sex, I didn't have a nocturnal emission, and all my emissions just came randomly. It might also be signifigant that I haven't had a single nocturnal emission since I started masturbating.
Quote:

I stand corrected.

Maybe that's why the headaches are there XD. Practice for having a wife XD. Lol.

Tee HEE! Only if you are lucky!

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

WAIT I have to back that up a bit.."beep beep beep" (construction truck)..

I think being denied ever being able to communicate verbally with another human being would have a much more negative imapct (if you had to choose) than never beign able to have sexual relations with another human being.(and I believe that would be for men and women)

Love

Dallas

 

[Atreyu]

I just can't imagine tiring of the release masterbation provides. However a good partner is alot more fun and alot more satisfying.

 

[nameless]

dont take the problem serious, get involved in something interesting and get happiness from that, give no room for boredom. And once if you feel like you lost sexual feelings, never try to bring it back.

 

[TheKnight]

One thing that helps is to do other stuff. Go out and do something fun or get a hobby. Another option is prayer. I, personally, see prayer as a form of self-reformation. It's a great way to keep yourself/get yourself disciplined.


Also, at least for me anyways, music can help to neutralize the physical impulses that cause you to be aroused. Of course, for me music itself is just so beauty that it's like going to another world. It's like being high actually.

On that note, I hear that marijuana is a great way to stop (or at least make you stop thinking about) sexual desires.

The thing to remember is that your desires are natural. God made you with them. There's nothing you can do about having them. All you can do is seek to control them. Everyone's different when it comes to actually doing that.

Also, sexual release is good sometimes. If you truly can't control yourself and stop completely, then set a specific time. It will help you stay focused or on track. Like if you set Thursdays and 630 pm as your "happy" time, then stick to that time and don't any other time.

Granted, being out of control is a bad thing. Also, it might help to talk to your dad. At your age it's not something you might to do (or are able to do) but if it's an available option go for it. After all, he probably went through the same thing and can probably give you some good advice.

 

[T-Dawg]

On that note, I hear that marijuana is a great way to stop (or at least make you stop thinking about) sexual desires.

The people who run my college are Nazis, remember? They think even making out is wrong, let alone drugs. In almost their exact words (paraphrased): "They used to call it PDA - public display of affection, but we don't like that name, because we don't care if it's public - we don't want you making out or having sex ANYWHERE, regardless of whether or not we can see it. That's why we call it IDA - innappropriate display of affection." Do you honestly think these people would allow me to do marijuana? They had an entire lecture over how bad and illegal drugs were during our first week...

The thing to remember is that your desires are natural.

That's not possible. Evolution would have rooted out any organisms (humans) that habitually engaged in non-reproductive sexual activities that had the possibility of damaging the penis (ie, masturbation).

There's nothing you can do about having them.

Jesus was able to make them go away, Bhudha was able to make them go away, most monks are able to make them go away...

Also, it might help to talk to your dad.

Heck no, my dad's even worse than my mom. He's probably never masturbated, and probaby only had sex when he wanted to have children. I would have walked in on him as a child at some point if they had been having sex regularly. Remember, both my parents are right-wing pseudofundamentalist whackjobs, and my dad in particular is an idiot and a liar.


Also, there's some blisters appearing on my penis. I tried masturbating, it didn't hurt that much, but when I was done, it hurt a LOT and I noticed that the blister was nearly an open wound. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I think it's healing up now, but I don't want to try masturbating again until it's completely gone...
At least the swelling is gone, and I think the headaches have mostly passed too.

 

[TheKnight]

The people who run my college are Nazis, remember? They think even making out is wrong, let alone drugs. In almost their exact words (paraphrased): "They used to call it PDA - public display of affection, but we don't like that name, because we don't care if it's public - we don't want you making out or having sex ANYWHERE, regardless of whether or not we can see it. That's why we call it IDA - innappropriate display of affection." Do you honestly think these people would allow me to do marijuana? They had an entire lecture over how bad and illegal drugs were during our first week...

You're in college at 16?

I wasn't seriously suggesting marijuana (why would I suggest an illegal substance to you?). I was being sarcastic. But you could try to find something (legal) to help you with self-control of your body.

That's not possible. Evolution would have rooted out any organisms (humans) that habitually engaged in non-reproductive sexual activities that had the possibility of damaging the penis (ie, masturbation).

Wrong. 1. Evolution is...I'm not even going to go there. 2. Assuming that what you're saying about evolution is correct (and it's not, but we're assuming here) then your desires ARE natural.

Realize, your desire to masturbate is an off-shoot of your natural human desire to have sex. Your penis wants to have stimulation. Since you will not give it sexual stimulation, it sends your brain impulses to try to get your hand to simulate that feeling as best it can.

The desire for sex, a good thing, is the cause of your desire for masturbation. And your desire for sex is something that is perfectly natural and good.

Jesus was able to make them go away, Bhudha was able to make them go away, most monks are able to make them go away...

I believe I offered prayer as a solution. If you'd like I could PM you some ideas (as far as prayer) that might help you to stop masturbating. But it would require certain changes in your attitude.

Heck no, my dad's even worse than my mom. He's probably never masturbated, and probaby only had sex when he wanted to have children. I would have walked in on him as a child at some point if they had been having sex regularly. Remember, both my parents are right-wing pseudofundamentalist whackjobs, and my dad in particular is an idiot and a liar.

How unfortunate. My parents are similar to that.

Also, there's some blisters appearing on my penis. I tried masturbating, it didn't hurt that much, but when I was done, it hurt a LOT and I noticed that the blister was nearly an open wound. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I think it's healing up now, but I don't want to try masturbating again until it's completely gone...
At least the swelling is gone, and I think the headaches have mostly passed too.

You realize that you're doing something wrong right?

Maybe you should look up how to masturbate appropriately...because if you have blisters and open wounds you are DEFINITELY doing something wrong. And that's BAD. Blisters and open wounds should NOT appear.

The only way you could get that bad is if you are masturbating so much that it's basically all you do. In which case you need to go to a therapist or something to help you with that.

 

[T-Dawg]

You're in college at 16?

Yes, I've said this several times across several threads. The American education system is pathetic like that. It's not because I'm smart, it's because the standards are so dumb that any decently intelligent kid can walk right into college without much of a problem. Heck, college is even easier than high school so far, in terms of the amount of effort needed for homework and classes (you have to study a bit before exams but that's about it for most classes).

The desire for sex, a good thing

How could the desire for sex possibly be a good thing? Sexual attraction has been the cause of many stupidities committed by man (Samson, David, and Solomon could tell you all about this).

You realize that you're doing something wrong right?

I'm doing it just like the wikipedia article on masturbation said to, I think... I don't even know where the blisters came from, I didn't notice them after a masturbation session, I just randomly saw them one day (I think I was about to masturbate) and ignored them, and I noticed afterwards that they hurt and they were almost to the point of being open sores.

 

[3.14]

even when I only masturbate one or two times a day.

i think i found your problem,
for someone your age you should maximum only mastrubate about 5 times a week your currently doing 3 times that wich your body just isn't able to handle properly



ps
http://www.wellsphere.com/wellpage/blisters-on-penis

 

[misanthropic_clown]

THeck no, my dad's even worse than my mom. He's probably never masturbated, and probaby only had sex when he wanted to have children. I would have walked in on him as a child at some point if they had been having sex regularly. Remember, both my parents are right-wing pseudofundamentalist whackjobs, and my dad in particular is an idiot and a liar.

Heh, reminds me of a scene from a film

YouTube - kevin and perry go large english part 4

The relevant part is about 6:40 in

 

[DallasApple]

i think i found your problem,
for someone your age you should maximum only mastrubate about 5 times a week your currently doing 3 times that wich your body just isn't able to handle properly



ps
Blisters On Penis - a comprehensive view - Wellsphere

I think someone ANY age should only masturbate every other day.

I mean sure on occasion you can get away with more.But if you are trying to masturbate 1 or 2 times a day every single day it might rub you the wrong way eventually.

Especially because with that much "release" its going to take you longer to achieve desired end result.So you are messing with it many hours a day.

I think if you rubbed any part of your body that often and for that long it would start to get sore and chapped.Even if you poured cooking oil over it the entire time.

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

I'm doing it just like the wikipedia article on masturbation said to, I think... I don't even know where the blisters came from, I didn't notice them after a masturbation session, I just randomly saw them one day (I think I was about to masturbate) and ignored them, and I noticed afterwards that they hurt and they were almost to the point of being open sores.

Look dude..

You have reported headaches after masturbating..pain during masturbation and orgasm..now you are saying you have sores on your penis that you 'randomly" noticed that are on the verge of being open sores that you dont believe are related to masturbating.

As well as a general despise towards even having sexual urges in the first place.You say you can not go to a doctor because of this this and that..

Every time someone gives you a bit of advice you say NO thats not it..Or wait a minute this or that..

You are in college right? Please don't tell me they dont have a clinic there or a counselors office to go to for help with qualified personel to guide you with any medical problems or emotional issues going on.

And your question was "cant I just stop"..Stop what masturbating or having sexual urges?Definately you can stop maturbating ..Just dont do it..urges ..possibly you can minimize them or at least not be TORTURED by having them through diversion techniques refocus and mediation ..and if its that bad ..chemical castration.But you need an EXPERT to help you with that.

If my son told me he had sores on his penis and had headhaches after masturbating and pain during orgasm and he hated having sexual urges and he was talking about it every day I would TAKE him to a professional.

You have been given much wisdom and advice here and you keep coming back with a "but" this and a "but " that response.

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

How could the desire for sex possibly be a good thing? Sexual attraction has been the cause of many stupidities committed by man (Samson, David, and Solomon could tell you all about this).

Many desires have been the cause of many stupidities.

You're too wound up on the negatives.And just becaue other people screw up doesnt mean you have to or are destined to.

Love

Dallas