Are we not too old for insults?

[Jim]

I see intended insults all over the place.
We're a very rude & angry bunch here.
And people who most should know better
are often the worst offenders. So it continues.

I think that what helps perpetuate it the most is displays of admiration and approval from each faction, for insults against people in the opposing faction. Next to that is people arguing and debating against the insults, giving them more reason, and more of a platform, to continue.

 

[Revoltingest]

I think that what helps perpetuate it the most is displays of admiration and approval from each faction, for insults against people in the opposing faction. Next to that is people arguing and debating against the insults, giving them more reason, and more of a platform, to continue.

Aye, posts which should be.....uh (dang rules)....are
instead fruballed (by those who should know better).

 

[PureX]

I remember having a discussion in another forum, and someone tried to argue that "it's not an insult if it's true." I found it rather lame reasoning, but it did remind me of how a lot of people think. If someone calls someone else an "idiot," they might defend it as a "factual observation" and not opinionated name-calling.

A lot of times, ... most times, in fact, people's egos are so easily pricked into auto-defense mode that they cannot recognize the difference between being called an idiot, and their posts being labeled as idiocy. Who's fault is that?

I think interactive forums like this require some degree of self-control and awareness to navigate, effectively. It's not a good place for people with weak egos.

 

[Jim]

I so often see "being honest" & telling "the truth" as excuses
for insult. Examples are typically of things not knowable to
the accuser, are histrionic, or are unproductive personal
commentary, eg, telling someone they watch only Fox News,
that they're dishonest, name calling, or they should choke to
death on their own bile. (All things I've observed on RF.)

Such people remind me of my father. (If you looked up "boor"
in the dictionary, his picture would be there.) He'd say mean
things about people behind their backs. When caught & called
on it, he'd respond "Well it's true!".

I’ll put it this way. I think that most of the time when people are insulting people, they are denying, even to themselves, that they are doing it, or they are making excuses for it. If they see you as being across some faction divide, arguing with them about it only gives them more reason and more of a platform to continue.

 

[Vinayaka]

I guess I have some bias that only "teens" insult each other. Weirdly enough (or is it?), when I see a direct insult on RF, that person is near over 60s (well, most people are here anyhow). Are not we too old for insults?

When someone says, 'I have a different POV than you' and another person takes that as an insult, what to do, eh?

 

[Jim]

I have some ideas about how anyone who wants to can help stop it from happening, and help counteract its adverse effects on all of us and on our discussions,

 

[SalixIncendium]

i have some ideas about how anyone who wants to can help stop it from happening, and help counteract its adverse effects on all of us and on our discussions,

.

 

[Nakosis]

I guess I have some bias that only "teens" insult each other. Weirdly enough (or is it?), when I see a direct insult on RF, that person is near over 60s (well, most people are here anyhow). Are not we too old for insults?

https://www.archbalt.org/the-gentlemanly-art-of-the-insult/?print=pdf

Take, for example, two masters of English repartee and wit, George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill. Shaw, prior to the opening of one of his plays, sent Churchill a telegram: “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” Churchill, nonplussed (and likely amused), sent a telegram in reply: “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”

Today’s political badinage is lame, lamer, lamest compared with the wits of yore. Churchill, of course, figures prominently here. Told over dinner by Lady Astor, the American-born female member of the House of Commons, that, “If you were my husband, Winston, I’d poison your soup,” Churchill immediately replied, “And if you were my wife, Nancy, I’d drink it.”

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

I guess I have some bias that only "teens" insult each other. Weirdly enough (or is it?), when I see a direct insult on RF, that person is near over 60s (well, most people are here anyhow). Are not we too old for insults?

What about getting old should inhibit someone from insulting another? Wisdom? Is that what you're getting at here? Wisdom is simply a man-made concept. There really is no such thing, and no one is at all required to adhere to your ideas (or anyone else's ideas) of what constitutes "wisdom." Nor should anyone necessarily feel ashamed that they have broken from your ideal of "wisdom." Nor is anyone constrained to a worldview that necessarily even prioritizes "wisdom" in any way.

Given the above, if you don't want to be hurt by insults, that's YOUR responsibility. Entirely.

 

[Jim]

In any discussion of behavior that poisons all of us and vandalizes discussions, there might be many posts designed to stigmatize anyone who objects to that behavior, or to cloud the issue or divert attention from it.

 

[Jim]

Once I saw a thread entirely devoted to denying that there is any behavior problem in these forums, with lots of people participating in the denial, including some people who complain the most about other people’s behavior. I think that what helps perpetuate it the most is that the most active and popular threads are people insulting each other across faction lines. Very few people actually want the insults to stop. Most of the complaints that I’ve seen about behavior looked to me like nothing more than another way of insulting people across faction lines.

I never give up hope that some people might actually see the harm in that behavior to all of us and to the possibilities in our discussions, enough to go beyond complaining about it, to try to help stop it and help counteract its harmful effects.

 

[Niblo]

I see intended insults all over the place.
We're a very rude & angry bunch here.
And people who most should know better
are often the worst offenders. So it continues.

Bog off, yer daft wee git .

PS: No offence.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

What about getting old should inhibit someone from insulting another? Wisdom? Is that what you're getting at here? Wisdom is simply a man-made concept. There really is no such thing, and no one is at all required to adhere to your ideas (or anyone else's ideas) of what constitutes "wisdom." Nor should anyone necessarily feel ashamed that they have broken from your ideal of "wisdom." Nor is anyone constrained to a worldview that necessarily even prioritizes "wisdom" in any way.

Given the above, if you don't want to be hurt by insults, that's YOUR responsibility. Entirely.

Don't know if this is just irony of my OP or not, but I'll just smile just because.

There is a thing about younger people and older people have pretty much the same mindset when they age. The idea assumes that when you're an adult, you're more knowledgeable than a teen or an elder. Different cultures see wisdom differently-very differently.

Oh: Given the above, if you don't want to be hurt by insults, that's your responsibility. Entirely.

It gives a better reaction. Emphasis only works but so much. Tone is also important as well. That. I'm also sure you admit or accept criticism to without seeing they need to take the blame for their critique???

I see this a lot on RF and pretty much this proves my point. If we see things from other people's points of view-while accepting constructive criticism from others-the world would be a better place. Taking offense to insults and criticisms is natural.

Giving you a heads up.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

When someone says, 'I have a different POV than you' and another person takes that as an insult, what to do, eh?

I don't remember someone saying they have a different point of view. A lot of times it's in the middle of the conversation to remind the other "it's not about you." What to do? Well, years ago, I put all people who started off with insults on ignore. Which helped in one sense. Though, I never got any big conversations sense I did that. Makes me think....

 

[Jim]

Like I said, I think that there are very few of us who actually want the personal attacks to stop. Most of the fun for most people in the most active and popular threads is in personal attacks across faction lines. Anyone who doesn’t like that just stays away from it. The few who want it to stop might not see any hope that it ever will. Anyone who openly objects to it becomes a target of it.

I think that it will stop some day, and however far in the future that day might be, it’s worth it to me to try to be part of what will help stop it, no matter how much that makes me a target of it.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I remember having a discussion in another forum, and someone tried to argue that "it's not an insult if it's true." I found it rather lame reasoning, but it did remind me of how a lot of people think. If someone calls someone else an "idiot," they might defend it as a "factual observation" and not opinionated name-calling.

That always annoyed me "it's not an insult if it's true" or it's the other persons fault if they think what I said is an insult. They are excuses pretty much when we should accept criticisms not deflect them.

 

[Jim]

I don’t think that any amount of discussion about it will stop anyone from doing it.

 

[Revoltingest]

I’ll put it this way. I think that most of the time when people are insulting people, they are denying, even to themselves, that they are doing it, or they are making excuses for it. If they see you as being across some faction divide, arguing with them about it only gives them more reason and more of a platform to continue.

I agree somewhat....self-denial by excusing themselves.
Discussing it with them shows me they know it's wrong,
& against the rules....but justified for the greater good.

 

[firedragon]

I guess I have some bias that only "teens" insult each other. Weirdly enough (or is it?), when I see a direct insult on RF, that person is near over 60s (well, most people are here anyhow). Are not we too old for insults?

You are mistaken. A lot of people thrive on insults. They live on them. It's their fuel. If they use it in real life they will lose their jobs and social lives so they do it online. There's no age barrier to this phenomenon.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Don't know if this is just irony of my OP or not, but I'll just smile just because.

Okay? Not sure what my takeaway is supposed to be from this sentence. It seems entirely pointless.

There is a thing about younger people and older people have pretty much the same mindset when they age. The idea assumes that when you're an adult, you're more knowledgeable than a teen or an elder. Different cultures see wisdom differently-very differently.

In my personal opinion, is has to do with younger people not giving a crap because they feel invulnerable to time. And elderly people also stop giving a crap when they realize how very limited their remaining time is.

It gives a better reaction.

What is this in reference to? What "gives a better reaction?" "It?" What is "it?"

Emphasis only works but so much.

Emphasis of what? Are you talking about my second use of the word "entirely" here? Yes - it was meant for emphasis.

Tone is also important as well.

Implying that something was wrong with my tone from your point of view? Can you tell me what it was in that particular post?

That.

What? What do you mean by "that?" Was this an attempt to mimic my use of the word "Entirely" as a stand-alone statement? I at least had context to lean on. You only used the word "that." I have no idea what "that" is a stand in for. You know what is probably even more important that "tone?" Being clear in your points. Maybe try it some time. (I am sure you don't like my "tone" here. Does this mean my words don't "work?")

I'm also sure you admit or accept criticism to without seeing they need to take the blame for their critique???

I may take issue with the criticism if I feel it unjust... but yes. I have taken my licks when I have been wrong on many occasions. How do you behave under such circumstances?

I see this a lot on RF and pretty much this proves my point. If we see things from other people's points of view-while accepting constructive criticism from others-the world would be a better place. Taking offense to insults and criticisms is natural.

Only for those who haven't thought about it very deeply. If you think on nothing else in this post from me, please consider this. When a person gets defensive (like I am sort of feeling from you in this reply of yours) to the idea that they are responsible for the hurt that they feel from insults or words, what, exactly, is it that such a person is defending? What is there to be defensive over? Your "right" to be offended? Your "right" to be insulted? Do you want to be insulted? Is that what it is about? If not, then what? What is it that is being defended when a person gets defensive over this idea?

Giving you a heads up.

Of what? That people are going to take offense to my criticisms? You think I didn't entirely realize this as having a high probability? Why on Earth do you think I adopt the "tone" that I do most often? There certainly are reasons you are feeling as you do when you read my words. These words are under my employ, and people fall for them nearly every time. I fall for them myself sometimes... but less often. And there are definite reasons for that.