Adultery

[rh111369]

My ex tells my children (almost daily) what a bad person I am. I have never told them the truth. I'm not even sure what I did consists of being an actual affair. I met him out a couple of times and actually kissed, never sex until I had left the ex (though I was still married). Either way I know it was wrong.

 

[DallasApple]

Yes, TheKnight, I was the one who cheated. I don't know why, this man just came into my life and I was at that point. I know how wrong it is. That's why I am thinking I should give up the current man in my life and try to work on things with the ex.

I think you should too because I think thats what you want.But you are going to have to say that.You are going to have to let yor pride down and say I want you.(to your husband).

Your husband cant be someone that you felt sorry for and out of guilt are with.He has to be your choice.

Love

Dallas

(Its hard isnt it?)

 

[rh111369]

There were many different situations. I have been pinned to the wall, with his hands around my throat. I have been put outside (at night in the winter without shoes or keys) though he didn't leave me there long. My car torn up so I couldn't leave. He would draw his fist like he was going to hit me with his teeth gritting (scared me). I don't even remember which thing happened now that made me decide to give up one day. I just knew I was no longer in love with him. But he was doing better the last 5 years of our marriage, but I didn't give him a chance.

 

[DallasApple]

My ex tells my children (almost daily) what a bad person I am. I have never told them the truth. I'm not even sure what I did consists of being an actual affair. I met him out a couple of times and actually kissed, never sex until I had left the ex (though I was still married). Either way I know it was wrong.

So ya'll are seperated?(and NO he shouldnt talk bad about you to the chidren..but you are an adult and theer is nothing stopping you from having adult converstaions with your children abotu whats going on..you can do it here? You can do it with your kids.)

Love

Dallas

 

[TheKnight]

My ex tells my children (almost daily) what a bad person I am. I have never told them the truth. I'm not even sure what I did consists of being an actual affair. I met him out a couple of times and actually kissed, never sex until I had left the ex (though I was still married). Either way I know it was wrong.

If he is abusive. Dont' go back to him. In fact, you can't change the past. So don't even worry about it. Ask God for forgiveness. Do what you can for your children. And enjoy the relationship that you are currently in. You did something wrong. Guess what, we all do the wrong thing sometimes.

However, once you realize it's wrong then it's time to move on and try not to do it again. Enjoy your life that you have. And try to get your children if possible. But don't let the past hinder your life.

 

[Storm]

There were many different situations. I have been pinned to the wall, with his hands around my throat. I have been put outside (at night in the winter without shoes or keys) though he didn't leave me there long. My car torn up so I couldn't leave. He would draw his fist like he was going to hit me with his teeth gritting (scared me). I don't even remember which thing happened now that made me decide to give up one day. I just knew I was no longer in love with him. But he was doing better the last 5 years of our marriage, but I didn't give him a chance.

So, not just psychologically abusive, but physically, too. And you want to go back, why?

 

[TheKnight]

There were many different situations. I have been pinned to the wall, with his hands around my throat. I have been put outside (at night in the winter without shoes or keys) though he didn't leave me there long. My car torn up so I couldn't leave. He would draw his fist like he was going to hit me with his teeth gritting (scared me). I don't even remember which thing happened now that made me decide to give up one day. I just knew I was no longer in love with him. But he was doing better the last 5 years of our marriage, but I didn't give him a chance.

Get a restraining order. Tell him you don't want to see him or talk to him ever again (and mean it) and then move on with your life. Don't let him back into your life AT ALL. Do what you can to get away. When you are away, stay away. While you're doing all that, try to get your kids back. Courts are sympathetic to abused mothers.

 

[DallasApple]

There were many different situations. I have been pinned to the wall, with his hands around my throat. I have been put outside (at night in the winter without shoes or keys) though he didn't leave me there long. My car torn up so I couldn't leave. He would draw his fist like he was going to hit me with his teeth gritting (scared me). I don't even remember which thing happened now that made me decide to give up one day. I just knew I was no longer in love with him. But he was doing better the last 5 years of our marriage, but I didn't give him a chance.

I bet you fought as hard as he did didnt you?There is no excusing the violence ..But ya'll sound like as if you have a "colorful" marriage.

Ya'll need to get into counseling ..The least of your worries is this new man you kissed.

Love

Dallas

 

[rh111369]

No, DallasApple, I have been divorced for 2 years now. Left him more than 3 years ago. But he is just such a mess. The children tell me his house is awful, his sisters and mom won't have anything to do with him. I just feel bad for him.

 

[TheKnight]

No, DallasApple, I have been divorced for 2 years now. Left him more than 3 years ago. But he is just such a mess. The children tell me his house is awful, his sisters and mom won't have anything to do with him. I just feel bad for him.

Feeling bad is fine. But be safe and feel bad. Try to get your kids from him (legally) and get a restraining order against him so that he cannot come near or contact you.

 

[rh111369]

My kids are grown, I didn't leave until they were. They are 25 and 21 now.

 

[DallasApple]

There were many different situations. I have been pinned to the wall, with his hands around my throat. I have been put outside (at night in the winter without shoes or keys) though he didn't leave me there long. My car torn up so I couldn't leave. He would draw his fist like he was going to hit me with his teeth gritting (scared me). I don't even remember which thing happened now that made me decide to give up one day. I just knew I was no longer in love with him. But he was doing better the last 5 years of our marriage, but I didn't give him a chance.

How many times did you tel him you would be with another man?Seriously how often did you treaten him that you were with another man or you were going to be with one?

Please dont say never either.This thread is about your adultery.

Love

Dallas

 

[rh111369]

My daughter lives with me (the 21 year old). She doesn't see her dad much. I have a good relationship with both my children.

 

[Storm]

How many times did you tel him you would be with another man?Seriously how often did you treaten him that you were with another man or you were going to be with one?

Please dont say never either.This thread is about your adultery.

Love

Dallas

Are you seriously trying to justify his abuse?

 

[rh111369]

I never did that. This man didn't come into the picture until right before I left him. Our arguments were usually over silly things, never anything to do with another man.

 

[DallasApple]

No, DallasApple, I have been divorced for 2 years now. Left him more than 3 years ago. But he is just such a mess. The children tell me his house is awful, his sisters and mom won't have anything to do with him. I just feel bad for him.

O.K you are divorced..I didnt know that.But his house is not your concern anymore.Feeling bad for him is what?

He is a grown man that can go on.If he has no relationship with his mom and sister you cant fix that.

Love

Dallas

 

[TheKnight]

Forget about him. You have a new husband (I assume) and you have a new life. It may ease your guilt to tell your kids about the relationship between yourself and your ex, but who knows.

Still, get a restraining order and make sure he stays away from you. Abusive men are something to be wary of.

 

[DallasApple]

Are you seriously trying to justify his abuse?

No I was wondering if torture was involved..Like when you poke a dog with a stick and then it bites you.

Love

Dallas

 

[.lava]

imo you should not believe your ex if he is saying you are the one who's to blame for his unhappy life.

i hope you find a way out peacefully



.

 

[DallasApple]

I never did that. This man didn't come into the picture until right before I left him. Our arguments were usually over silly things, never anything to do with another man.

Allrigth so you had silly arguments and he held you by your neck? And threw you out into the freezing cold with no shoes?

You are divorced 3 years now? Why are you feeling guilty?Becuase you 'kissed' someone else?

Love

Dallas