Adultery

[rh111369]

I committed adultery,(3 years ago) and since divorced, how do I get rid of the guilt? I am still with the man I had the affair with, but wondering if I need to try to work things out with my ex to finally get the spiritual healing.

 

[TheKnight]

I committed adultery,(3 years ago) and since divorced, how do I get rid of the guilt? I am still with the man I had the affair with, but wondering if I need to try to work things out with my ex to finally get the spiritual healing.

Leaving the guy you committed adultery with might help. But then it might not. Have you sought forgiveness from your ex-husband?

 

[DallasApple]

What do you feel "guilty about".

Love

Dallas

 

[rh111369]

I feel guilty that I didn't try to work things out with him. We were married for 23 years and he has lost everyone in his life its seems. He is so angry and still harrasses me after this long. I blame myself for his life being so messed up.

 

[TheKnight]

All you can blame yourself for is the end of your marriage (if your actions were the end of your marriage). Any problems he has outside of your marriage, you should not feel guilty about.

 

[rh111369]

Do you think that God truly forgives adultery?

 

[TheKnight]

Do you think that God truly forgives adultery?

God forgives any sin.

 

[DallasApple]

I feel guilty that I didn't try to work things out with him. We were married for 23 years and he has lost everyone in his life its seems. He is so angry and still harrasses me after this long. I blame myself for his life being so messed up.

Do you miss him and would want him back?(just the way he is no trying to change him)

Love

Dallas

(and P.S your life is messed up too so dont think about him and that you could fix his).

 

[DallasApple]

Do you think that God truly forgives adultery?

Yes mam..

God is full of grace.

Love

Dallas

 

[rh111369]

Sometimes I do think I want him back, (just because of guilt and missing the family bond) but I couldn't stand the thoughts of an intimate relationship with him. But, I know it would make things easier for him and everyone else (so they wouldn't have to hear what a horrible person I have been). The man I am with now is REALLY wanting me to marry him , but the ex keeps sending threats and that scares me.

 

[DallasApple]

Do you think that God truly forgives adultery?

do you have children?

Well if you do or if you dont..imagine if the question was would you forgive your child for "x".

God is like the big daddy and He already knows everything we are going to go through.your remorse would be like a little child of ours crying and sayign they are so sorry they lied..or they stoled ..arent you going to forgive them?

God doesnt want you to get stuck in guilt.

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Sometimes I do think I want him back, (just because of guilt and missing the family bond) but I couldn't stand the thoughts of an intimate relationship with him. But, I know it would make things easier for him and everyone else (so they wouldn't have to hear what a horrible person I have been). The man I am with now is REALLY wanting me to marry him , but the ex keeps sending threats and that scares me.

Threats of what? Suicide ?

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Sometimes I do think I want him back, (just because of guilt and missing the family bond) but I couldn't stand the thoughts of an intimate relationship with him. But, I know it would make things easier for him and everyone else (so they wouldn't have to hear what a horrible person I have been). The man I am with now is REALLY wanting me to marry him , but the ex keeps sending threats and that scares me.

If its not to nosey ..why did you enter into an adulteress relationship in the first place.If its to nosey say.."can't go into that now".

Love

Dallas

 

[rh111369]

He went through the suicide threats about 2 years ago. No, now the threats are violent. My children are grown, I left the very month my youngest turned 18. My children were my first responsibility. Once they were raised I thought I could get through this. I didn't mean to have the affair, but I had been totally unhappy for about the last 10 years of marriage (no excuse). He had done things to me in our marriage that just made me snap one day and I just didn't want to be with him anymore. Just waited for my children to grow up.

 

[DallasApple]

Sometimes I do think I want him back, (just because of guilt and missing the family bond) but I couldn't stand the thoughts of an intimate relationship with him. But, I know it would make things easier for him and everyone else (so they wouldn't have to hear what a horrible person I have been). The man I am with now is REALLY wanting me to marry him , but the ex keeps sending threats and that scares me.

Who is "they" having to hear what a "horrible person you are"?And who is telling them this about you?

Love

Dallas

 

[TheKnight]

He went through the suicide threats about 2 years ago. No, now the threats are violent. My children are grown, I left the very month my youngest turned 18. My children were my first responsibility. Once they were raised I thought I could get through this. I didn't mean to have the affair, but I had been totally unhappy for about the last 10 years of marriage (no excuse). He had done things to me in our marriage that just made me snap one day and I just didn't want to be with him anymore. Just waited for my children to grow up.

So you cheated on him? If you were going to wait, you should have just waited and then divorced him and then moved on.

Either way, what he is doing now and his current condition are not your fault. They're his fault. You should not feel guilty for his behavior.

 

[rh111369]

Yes, TheKnight, I was the one who cheated. I don't know why, this man just came into my life and I was at that point. I know how wrong it is. That's why I am thinking I should give up the current man in my life and try to work on things with the ex.

 

[TheKnight]

Yes, TheKnight, I was the one who cheated. I don't know why, this man just came into my life and I was at that point. I know how wrong it is. That's why I am thinking I should give up the current man in my life and try to work on things with the ex.

If you don't mind me asking, what did he do that made you snap?

 

[DallasApple]

He went through the suicide threats about 2 years ago. No, now the threats are violent. My children are grown, I left the very month my youngest turned 18. My children were my first responsibility. Once they were raised I thought I could get through this. I didn't mean to have the affair, but I had been totally unhappy for about the last 10 years of marriage (no excuse). He had done things to me in our marriage that just made me snap one day and I just didn't want to be with him anymore. Just waited for my children to grow up.

I wouldnt go back to someone over threats of violence hun..Im just not concerned IMHO if you even want to be with this new man.My gut tells me you still love your husband..I could be wrong by my gut tells me you would rather be with your husband.Not becuase of convenience or because you are feelign guilty.But because you want to.

Love

Dallas

 

[Storm]

Whether or not you give up on the current man, you shouldn't go back to someone who abuses you with threats of suicide and violence.