Abstinence-only Sex Education

[Watchmen]

We don't choose to be cast out, society does that for us, the teacher was just being honest in saying what she thought. It would be pointless her saying oh don't worry, it doesn't matter, why give people hope for nothing? Maybe if we had uptight people in my class she wouldn't have said it, but the fact is she put the whole class in hysterics and its better to have a teacher you can relate to, and who hasn't lost touch with real issues we would face.
Far to often teaching is boring and ineffective because of what people find offensive and inappropriate, im sick of the red tape and fanatics claiming their children's religious beliefs were discriminated against.

I said nothing of religion. Care to try again?

 

[darkendless]

I said nothing of religion. Care to try again?

Sure - the teacher can relate to her students, we love her for it. Everyone is the class was amused, we appreciated her being up front with us rather than reserved because she's a teacher.
Theres no point saying what would be socially acceptable when it is different from what you really think. Lying because you might "offend" is terrible ethics and does nothing to assist the students in their learning.

 

[rojse]

I agree 100% but the sad thing is a lot of parents are too busy dropping thier teenagers off at the mall or some other place to take the time to teach them about sex. Then they wonder why thier teenage daughter is pregant or thier son's GF is knocking on the door with a huge stomach.

That is why we have the education system teaching sex education - although the phrase "sex education" is a bit of an overstatement for repeating "Don't have sex. Don't have sex. Don't have sex. Don't... "

 

[rojse]

And who are the adults that should be teaching the kids?

The PARENTS!

I realize that's not always possible, but that's who it should be.

I honestly would not want to listen to my elders discuss sex, and did not pay any attention when they tried.

 

[methylatedghosts]

I honestly would not want to listen to my elders discuss sex, and did not pay any attention when they tried.

I was told about sex when I was 2 years old. Any questions I had were answered whenever I asked them. Of course it was very basic.

"Men have a penis. Women have a vagina. Penis in vagina, sperm to egg --> baby"

9 months later, I had a little brother.

Of course, as I got older, I got more questions and things, but I never really thought anything of it.

But Jimmy Johnson only comes from Scotland

 

[Watchmen]

Sure - the teacher can relate to her students, we love her for it. Everyone is the class was amused, we appreciated her being up front with us rather than reserved because she's a teacher.
Theres no point saying what would be socially acceptable when it is different from what you really think. Lying because you might "offend" is terrible ethics and does nothing to assist the students in their learning.

I never suggested she lie. Care to try again?

 

[Inky]

And who are the adults that should be teaching the kids?

The PARENTS!

I realize that's not always possible, but that's who it should be.

I disagree. Puberty is a time when most people start to feel restless in their place in the family structure, and want to be more independent of their parents. That's why parents being the main source of sex ed isn't very effective. Parents should teach sex ed, but there should be other adults readily available to learn from. A lot of the time, a parent can give good advice and their kid will blow it off, but a less authoritative-seeming adult can give the exact same advice and they'll listen.

I'd written before that I think school counselors should fill this role, but on second thought I think the family doctor is probably the best source, in my opinion, as long as the teenager can easily get in touch with him/her, and there's a privacy agreement so they're confident their parents aren't hearing stuff about them from their doctor.

Probably there are some families out there where the teenage children are comfortable discussing their sexual decisions in detail with their parents, and actually telling the whole truth, but most don't work this way, and the parents are getting a heavily censored version of their children's sex lives that's not sufficient for the kinds of discussions the kids need to be having.

 

[Jeremy Mason]

I disagree. Puberty is a time when most people start to feel restless in their place in the family structure, and want to be more independent of their parents. That's why parents being the main source of sex ed isn't very effective. Parents should teach sex ed, but there should be other adults readily available to learn from. A lot of the time, a parent can give good advice and their kid will blow it off, but a less authoritative-seeming adult can give the exact same advice and they'll listen.

I'd written before that I think school counselors should fill this role, but on second thought I think the family doctor is probably the best source, in my opinion, as long as the teenager can easily get in touch with him/her, and there's a privacy agreement so they're confident their parents aren't hearing stuff about them from their doctor.

Probably there are some families out there where the teenage children are comfortable discussing their sexual decisions in detail with their parents, and actually telling the whole truth, but most don't work this way, and the parents are getting a heavily censored version of their children's sex lives that's not sufficient for the kinds of discussions the kids need to be having.

So so true, good post.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I disagree. Puberty is a time when most people start to feel restless in their place in the family structure, and want to be more independent of their parents. That's why parents being the main source of sex ed isn't very effective. Parents should teach sex ed, but there should be other adults readily available to learn from. A lot of the time, a parent can give good advice and their kid will blow it off, but a less authoritative-seeming adult can give the exact same advice and they'll listen.

I'd written before that I think school counselors should fill this role, but on second thought I think the family doctor is probably the best source, in my opinion, as long as the teenager can easily get in touch with him/her, and there's a privacy agreement so they're confident their parents aren't hearing stuff about them from their doctor.

Probably there are some families out there where the teenage children are comfortable discussing their sexual decisions in detail with their parents, and actually telling the whole truth, but most don't work this way, and the parents are getting a heavily censored version of their children's sex lives that's not sufficient for the kinds of discussions the kids need to be having.

I'm going to disagree here but bear with me. I think the parents should teach the child about sex prior to puberty, that way they know what's coming.

But, I agree that discussing sex with the parents during puberty isn't something that the child is going to want to do. Here is where having counselor and doctors speak to them is probably better than the parents. But they should have a foundation from the parents first. But there are many parents that just don't seem capible of taking care of this responsiblity. Shame really.

 

[Inky]

I'm going to disagree here but bear with me. I think the parents should teach the child about sex prior to puberty, that way they know what's coming.

But, I agree that discussing sex with the parents during puberty isn't something that the child is going to want to do. Here is where having counselor and doctors speak to them is probably better than the parents. But they should have a foundation from the parents first. But there are many parents that just don't seem capible of taking care of this responsiblity. Shame really.

I agree with that actually; I should have said it better, but I do think parents should also have a strong role in sex ed, just not necessarily be the go-to people during puberty.

 

[Antiquarian2001]

Safe sex education is most important but it should include talking about love even if that part may not get much attention from the boys.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Safe sex education is most important but it should include talking about love even if that part may not get much attention from the boys.

Now, now, boys fall in love and get their hearts broken too. But you're right, all aspects of a relationship should be discussed, and long before puberty IMHO.

 

[Engyo]

Young, childless, and snipped - CNN.com

An interesting side note to this topic.

"In a 2007 Pew Research Center telephone survey of 2,000 U.S. men and women, only 41 percent said children are "very important to a successful marriage." In 1990, that figure was 65 percent."

 

[darkendless]

I never suggested she lie. Care to try again?

Its lying, saying something you don't actually think didn't you read my post. Perhapos you should read it again so you understand.
What makes it so inappropriate anyway, are you afraid of crushing your children's spirits so instead you feed them lies to make them feel better?

 

[methylatedghosts]

I disagree. Puberty is a time when most people start to feel restless in their place in the family structure, and want to be more independent of their parents. That's why parents being the main source of sex ed isn't very effective. Parents should teach sex ed, but there should be other adults readily available to learn from. A lot of the time, a parent can give good advice and their kid will blow it off, but a less authoritative-seeming adult can give the exact same advice and they'll listen.

I'd written before that I think school counselors should fill this role, but on second thought I think the family doctor is probably the best source, in my opinion, as long as the teenager can easily get in touch with him/her, and there's a privacy agreement so they're confident their parents aren't hearing stuff about them from their doctor.

Probably there are some families out there where the teenage children are comfortable discussing their sexual decisions in detail with their parents, and actually telling the whole truth, but most don't work this way, and the parents are getting a heavily censored version of their children's sex lives that's not sufficient for the kinds of discussions the kids need to be having.

Why wait so long until puberty to tell a child what sex is?

 

[Neo-Logic]

Abstinence only sex education is cruel and unusual punishment and should be unconstitutional ...

 

[Neo-Logic]

Why wait so long until puberty to tell a child what sex is?

Because there's no need for children to learn about sex until they reach puberty or around that age. Puberty is the growth stage that signals a human being's beginning stages of the ability to reproduce and become sexually active. Until then, explaining sex will raise more questions that doesn't really need to be asked because they're irrelevant.

 

[methylatedghosts]

Because there's no need for children to learn about sex until they reach puberty or around that age. Puberty is the growth stage that signals a human being's beginning stages of the ability to reproduce and become sexually active. Until then, explaining sex will raise more questions that doesn't really need to be asked because they're irrelevant.

So satisfying a child's curiosity about how his little brother got to be inside mummy's tummy is irrelevant? I've known at least the basics of sex and what it is since I was about 2 - when mum got pregnant with my brother.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Because there's no need for children to learn about sex until they reach puberty or around that age. Puberty is the growth stage that signals a human being's beginning stages of the ability to reproduce and become sexually active. Until then, explaining sex will raise more questions that doesn't really need to be asked because they're irrelevant.

Completely disagree. Children need to know what is going to be happening during puberty prior to it's starting. In case you haven't noticed, kids tend to go a little nuts during puberty and don't listen as well. Having them well prepared with a firm foundation will help immensely.

 

[Inky]

Why wait so long until puberty to tell a child what sex is?

I didn't mean to imply that teenagers need the sort of sex ed where you learn what sex is. That does come way earlier, or should. They need the sex ed where you learn everything you need to actually do it safely and comfortably. Questions about how to avoid condom breakage, the incubation periods of STDs, how to avoid HPV, when minor sexual discomfort is not worth worrying over and when it might be a symptom of a larger problem, and so on, are the reasons teens should have easy access to an expert who's not a family member.