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Abstinence-only Sex Education

Scott C.

Just one guy
This is something that would concern me for your daughter as a grown woman in marrige though..Im glad she abstained...

But the terms "every boy" .."disgusted' and "repelled" are alarming to me..

She is demonizing "all boys"...and attaching extemely negative emotions to sexuality..

This is unhealthy..IMHO and could carry over for years and years..and she in fact could be "repelled" and "disgusted" by her husband if he enjoys lots of sex including oral..

Love

Dallas

That's ridiculous. My daughter is quite emotionally healthy and will do fine in marriage, I'm certain. I'm very glad that she finds boys who are looking for free sex to be disgusting.
 

Scott C.

Just one guy
I'm going to ask how you can be so certain that your children have all been chaste.

I didn't say that all of my kids have been perfect in this regard. I have a pretty good handle on what they have or have not done. One reason is that we have a close relationship and they feel they can share their mistakes with me and their mom.
 

darkendless

Guardian of Asgaard
Teenagers will do what their friends do, and not all parents teach their children that sex is wrong at a young age. At high-school there were a lot of 13 year old girls bumping uglies with 18 years olds. Sure its illegal but they don't care, they've got bragging rights over their friends. Promoting safe sex is the only way to go about it, im against teaching abstinence.
 

methylatedghosts

Can't brain. Has dumb.

Scott C.

Just one guy
Teenagers will do what their friends do, and not all parents teach their children that sex is wrong at a young age.

If I had a child who I knew was sexually active and they were going to continue to be sexually active regardless of anything I said to discourage them, I would hope that they would practice "safe" sex to avoid pregnancy and disease. This would be a reluctant hope, however, since my fear would be that they think they really are safe and would have no clue as to the spiritual damage they were causing themselves and their partners. I would also fear that the incidence of sexual contact would increase because they now feel "safe".
 

darkendless

Guardian of Asgaard
If I had a child who I knew was sexually active and they were going to continue to be sexually active regardless of anything I said to discourage them, I would hope that they would practice "safe" sex to avoid pregnancy and disease. This would be a reluctant hope, however, since my fear would be that they think they really are safe and would have no clue as to the spiritual damage they were causing themselves and their partners. I would also fear that the incidence of sexual contact would increase because they now feel "safe".

As im only still a teenager i guess my perspective is slightly different, i don't feel paternal protection. I do not know your stance on condoms, but they are the most practical form of sexual safety and readily accessible everywhere. I think if properly educated about sex, and definately not against sex, there would be a low chance of anything bad happening. Abstinence does not promote safe sex, and no matter what anyone says the kids are going to do it anyway so its probably best to make them aware of the risks involved so at least they'll be safe.
 

darkendless

Guardian of Asgaard
I'm against abstinence only education, but I need to point out that not every kid is "going to do it anyway."

The vast majority will, peer pressure is dangerous. One of my teachers at school said kids, i know its unfair, but society ill cast you out if you're still a virgin at 18. I agree with her to an extent. It would be wrong to deny that it does not come up in teenage conversation on a regular basis.
 

Autodidact

Intentionally Blank
Back on the Scott C. bandwagon, I think that two important pieces of this aspect of parenting are living what you preach, and honesty with your child.
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
The vast majority will, peer pressure is dangerous. One of my teachers at school said kids, i know its unfair, but society ill cast you out if you're still a virgin at 18. I agree with her to an extent. It would be wrong to deny that it does not come up in teenage conversation on a regular basis.

I find that incredibly inappropriate coming from a teacher.

Bottom line: Not every kid will and those who don't will not be automatically cast out.
 

Kcnorwood

Well-Known Member
I find that incredibly inappropriate coming from a teacher.

Bottom line: Not every kid will and those who don't will not be automatically cast out.




It was like that when I was in school & from what I've seen it hasn't changed much at all.
 

rojse

RF Addict
I think that we need to teach kids about safe sex and the like, because if teenagers do not get the information from their educators or adults, then they are getting the information from their peers, and who knows what sort of quality this information will be?
 

Scott C.

Just one guy
As im only still a teenager i guess my perspective is slightly different, i don't feel paternal protection. I do not know your stance on condoms, but they are the most practical form of sexual safety and readily accessible everywhere. I think if properly educated about sex, and definately not against sex, there would be a low chance of anything bad happening. Abstinence does not promote safe sex, and no matter what anyone says the kids are going to do it anyway so its probably best to make them aware of the risks involved so at least they'll be safe.

Again, I recognize that condoms go a long way to prevent disease and pregnancy. But, I believe the most serious negative consequences of sex out of marriage are not measured by disease and pregnancy. These consequences are not avoided by condoms. These consequences are those that come by living a life style that is inconsistent with the purposes of life as revealed by God. They are spiritual in nature and affect one's relationship with God, one's spirituality, one's peace and happiness in life, and one's eternal future.
 

Autodidact

Intentionally Blank
Again, I recognize that condoms go a long way to prevent disease and pregnancy. But, I believe the most serious negative consequences of sex out of marriage are not measured by disease and pregnancy. These consequences are not avoided by condoms. These consequences are those that come by living a life style that is inconsistent with the purposes of life as revealed by God. They are spiritual in nature and affect one's relationship with God, one's spirituality, one's peace and happiness in life, and one's eternal future.

Well Scott--that's in case you believe that there is any such thing. Meanwhile, there are real-world consequences that happen regardless of what you believe.
 

Kcnorwood

Well-Known Member
I think that we need to teach kids about safe sex and the like, because if teenagers do not get the information from their educators or adults, then they are getting the information from their peers, and who knows what sort of quality this information will be?




I agree 100% but the sad thing is a lot of parents are too busy dropping thier teenagers off at the mall or some other place to take the time to teach them about sex. Then they wonder why thier teenage daughter is pregant or thier son's GF is knocking on the door with a huge stomach.
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
And who are the adults that should be teaching the kids?

The PARENTS!

I realize that's not always possible, but that's who it should be.
 

darkendless

Guardian of Asgaard
Again, I recognize that condoms go a long way to prevent disease and pregnancy. But, I believe the most serious negative consequences of sex out of marriage are not measured by disease and pregnancy. These consequences are not avoided by condoms. These consequences are those that come by living a life style that is inconsistent with the purposes of life as revealed by God. They are spiritual in nature and affect one's relationship with God, one's spirituality, one's peace and happiness in life, and one's eternal future.

Another difference, there is a world outisde God and that style of life suits most of us fine. I have to say that its a terrible thing if the government is educating based on a religion viewpoint, it cannot and will not benefit society overall.

Disneyman - That teacher was actually a fantastic teacher, it was not innapropriate at all. No one took offence, she was just telling it like it is. Too often people sugarcoat the reality, im glad i had at least one teacher who was smart and brave enough to tell things the way she saw it.
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Disneyman - That teacher was actually a fantastic teacher, it was not innapropriate at all. No one took offence, she was just telling it like it is. Too often people sugarcoat the reality, im glad i had at least one teacher who was smart and brave enough to tell things the way she saw it.

I wasn't questiong her ability as a teacher - I'm challenging what she said and maintain it was inappropriate. Do you think it's OK to cast kids out who choose not to have sex? It's as if the teacher validated the casting out. People shouldn't be berated for choosing not to have sex.
 

darkendless

Guardian of Asgaard
I wasn't questiong her ability as a teacher - I'm challenging what she said and maintain it was inappropriate. Do you think it's OK to cast kids out who choose not to have sex? It's as if the teacher validated the casting out. People shouldn't be berated for choosing not to have sex.

We don't choose to be cast out, society does that for us, the teacher was just being honest in saying what she thought. It would be pointless her saying oh don't worry, it doesn't matter, why give people hope for nothing? Maybe if we had uptight people in my class she wouldn't have said it, but the fact is she put the whole class in hysterics and its better to have a teacher you can relate to, and who hasn't lost touch with real issues we would face.
Far to often teaching is boring and ineffective because of what people find offensive and inappropriate, im sick of the red tape and fanatics claiming their children's religious beliefs were discriminated against.
 
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